Good pointers, kiasimon. Let me add a few more:

1) Always check their belongings for bedbugs(ticks). One of mine brought along bedbugs which ended up all over our beddings. Had a tough time ridding them. Boil their clothes the moment they reach your house. It may seem quite mean, but better be safe than sorry.

2) If you want your maid to wash cars, remember to say it upfront, so she's aware and can't claim that their embassy disallows them.

3) If you don't allow her to use her handphone, tell her upfront as well.

4) If you're installing monitors, let her know in advance. I think this is mutual respect for the maid's privacy.

5) Teach them how to cross roads. This is something we take for granted, without realising them a lot of them comes from kampung.

Even if you follow all this tips no one can garantee she will turn out to be good.

I got my Indonesian maid before 4 months.I had checked her belongings in agency only b4 bringing her home and took her signature on what she has.

 Even though the agency told us not to give us off day untill her loan is over, as human we thought she should get rest and allowed her to go out. Last month she came quiet late and i had a doubt as she couldnt explain properly what happened. I checked her bag and found Handphone and lots of messages from her boyfriend. She didnt had a handphone when she came to my place. In this case what should I do???? I havent told her yet that i know she has Handphone.

To be honest I have a 6 mths old daughter whom she treats very well.

Any suggestions??????

Did you tell her upfront no handphone allowed?  if yes, then you may consider confiscating the handphone.  Return to her only on her off day. I will be more worried about her boyfriend. Is she alone with your daughter when you are at work?  Will she bring her boyfriend home when you are out?

As for off day, my agency told me the standard hour is 10-6pm (8 hours).  I allow my maid to leave after she finishes her daily chore (before 10am) and must be home by 9pm.

Again if you are happy with her work performance and think she did a decent job, you may want to pretend that you discovered nothing, to preserve the good relationship. As for off day, since she is still repaying her loan, you can suspend it till later.

To learn more about me, go to Baby Samson or SAHMs

Oh yes.

Everything has to be spelt out clearly from day 1.

If you want your maid to got o the nearby shop or hawker centre, always show her the route to and fro. And make her bring you there to make sure she really remembers the route home.

I will prepare a card with my address, mobile phone number for my maid to carry around in case she is lost.

Also, DH makes her record down the "In/Out" record book on the balance of her EZ link card each time she accompany my children to lessons.

DH monitors the usage as EZ link card can be used to purchase items as well.

I personally discourage the use of handphone as they will keep the handphone with them, keeping a close tab on smses. Losing concentration.

I do allow my maid to call home once a month.

In short, all has to be spelt out from day one.

Sometimes our compassion doesn't pay off.

In your maid's case, is she allowed any off days in the first place?  If she doesn't and you allow her to go on off, then you are indirectly spoiling her..I know maids are humans too and you are also being compassionate. However you can make it up to her by bringing her out once a month or allowing her not to cook dinner on Sundays etc.

There are many other ways that you can make it up to her.

Now that she has a boyfriend and a handphone, you won't know what will happen next.

For me, I prefer to be open. I will tell her that I know she has a handphone and a boyfriend. I will then tell her I do not encourage her to have a handphone and a boyfriend.

Reason being simple,. She will definitely want off days as she wants to be with her boyfriend. And if she gets pregnant, you will have to lose your security bond and has to repatriate her.

That is why from my previous post, when I inerview a maid, I will first find out if she has a boyfriend , handphone and if she is willing to work without off days.

I will not want to employ a maid with off days as I won't know what activities she is involved during the 9  hours she is out.

Based on my past experience, it will go from going out earlier to coming back later and to the extent, the maid can't be bothered to explain. And if you question her, she will just tell you to send her back if you are dissatisfied.

Lessons learnt.

As long as I do not ill-treat her and give her what she deserves, I will not try to be extra nice to her. After all, we are outsiders to her, when she hardens her heart, she won't remember the good that you have.

This may not apply to all maids but at least to the 95% of maid.

Hi,

First of all when I checked her baggage b4 bringing her home she didnt had a handphone and now she has it that too she hide it from me.

Second thing is now suddenly she does not have a handphone. Last time when she went on off day after that I disovered the phone and after that she hasnt been alone anywhere so where did the handphone go??? Did she called someone home and gave the phone??? in that case how can she call any1 home without my permission when I leave my daughter with her whenever I go out.

Actually u guys are right I had given her too much liberty.

She can eat what ever she want from the kitchen.

Sleep in afternoon

No cooking just helping me chop veggie.

twice a month eat out with us in restaurant.

I buy calling card for hher to call home. 1 card a month.

I give her money on occasions like 50$ for hariraya. 25$ on her birthday.

I sent her mother 300$ in fasting month to indonesia.

the list goes on but now i think is it really foolish to treat them well???

do they really think us too be fools???

It's so nice to hear of kind souls like yourself, kash313.

Though sometimes, kindness doesn't beget kindness

in harsh reality. Harsh but happening..

 bÜds

I have decided to return her to her agency sorry for her but cant help.

she brought it upon herself.

Seriously I think you are being very nice to her and might have overdone it.

I do give my maid hongbao on her birthday but I give her $10 only. It is the gesture not the amount.

From my understanding of maids, if next time you give her lesser than $50 for Hari Raya and $25 for birthday, she will definitely show you a strange look.

By the way, you don't have to give money to her mother.

I will say you are too good to her.

As long as you don't ill-treat her, give her her due, that is enough.

As mentioned before, when they turn heartless, they won't remember how kind and nice you have been to her.

But please note that since all along you have been so nice to her, and suddenly you stopped giving her the perks, she will definitely be sour.

And when you wonder how she can pass her hp to others, you will never know how she did it. Maids are actually more intelligent than us and they will do the least expected.

So, if you really want to change her, you should do it asap and do not tell her beforehand.

If you tell her beforehand, she will either runaway, steal or begins to do things to annoy you.

When your new maid comes, please do not repeat the same.

But of course the choice is yours.

I like to add one small tip:

check fingernails and tell her what is allowed and not.  I don't like my maid to have long fingernails - she has to prepare food and i don't know if the underneath of her fingernails is clean or not...  ;P