Help me please ! P3 Boy becoming defiant (Page 2)

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 Post subject: Re: Help me please !
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:11 am 
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OrangeBelt
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BeContented wrote:
insider wrote:
2ppaamm wrote:
Cry? Cry loh, won't die one.:skeptical:



This is the kind of 'mental/emotional strength' that parents with 'manipulative' kids need to have.

Deal with the situation matter-of-factly, with minimal emotions, and don't let him catch you feeling 'heart pain' else you lose the game...


IMO, it's ok to let the child see your 'heart-pain', but importantly you must still execute your planned action. I will admit to my kids that I also wish to let them have more fun, be happy. The easy way out for me is to just let them enjoy & no fight between us, but is that the right thing to do? Why do I choose to make things 'difficult', it's not fun for me too. Let the child think a little. No point laughing a while now but crying & regretting for many years in future .....
Frankly not sure if all children take such stuff, fortunately mine did.
:sweat:

Actually sometimes I tear when I cane & see them cry.....but from there they know it hurts me too to cane them & they know it's something I'll rather choose NOT to do unless it warrant for it. (PS : but caning is usually not due to academics, more behavioural issues)



totally agreed!!


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 Post subject: Re: Help me please ! P3 Boy becoming defiant
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:48 am 
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KiasuGrandMaster
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so strange :? no comment from original poster...


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 Post subject: Re: Help me please ! P3 Boy becoming defiant
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:04 am 
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OrangeBelt
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2ppaamm wrote:
so strange :? no comment from original poster...


probably she is too lost


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 Post subject: Re: Help me please !
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:46 pm 
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BlueBelt
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[quote="2ppaamm
Just stay in the same room and read newspaper until he is done. Then when he is done, repeat what you said. Homework first, then play. Repeat until work done. Do the same tomorrow, and tomorrow. The crying will get less and less, and one day, gone. :smile:[/quote]

I probably won't stay in the room and torture my ear. When my kids were young (like 2 or 3 years old) I will put them somewhere safe, and tell them to "come look for me when you are done crying" and leave them to cry as they wish. It's the same thing now, if they throw tantrums at me, I will just tell them, "talk to me when you feel better, I don't deserve your attitude" and walk off.

Occassionally, when I am in one of my moods, I would have to declare that "mummy is cranky, so leave me alone", else I get the same treatment .... :oops:


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 Post subject: Re: Help me please ! P3 Boy becoming defiant
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 6:11 pm 
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KiasuGrandMaster
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It could be a sign of stress. This happened to one of my students also. I noticed the change after he was promoted to the best class. He felt pressurized to keep up with his previous performance and work seemed overwhelming. After counselling and encouragement, he got back on his feet. Sometimes, children don't know how to express themselves cos they don't understand what they were going through. This explains why the tantrum. It's their way of getting their parents' attention.


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 Post subject: Re: Help me please ! P3 Boy becoming defiant
PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 10:15 am 
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GreenBelt
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I think he is feeling insecure and wants your attention (e.g: He will cry when you ignore him. :) ). Anything negative happened in home recently?


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 Post subject: Re: Help me please ! P3 Boy becoming defiant
PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 10:41 am 
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KiasuGrandMaster
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chixchix wrote:
hii all, I need help,i dont want to be seen as a bad mother :sad: well,my boy was in P2 last year and he was in Band 1 for his subjects. But now since he went to P3, his teacher has started to complain that he is not concentrating, he gets many silly mistakes for English & Maths ,and there is many corrections for him. When he comes from home at 2pm, he prefers to play computer, i phone, watch tv, play lego...i tell him to rest till 4pm ,and later I will do revision with him, but he cant be bothered. Also he has become defiant and talks back to me.

I have tried talking to him to ask if there is any problem,and also hit him on his butt at times, but nothing works,.If I ignore him,he keeps saying " mama ..mama .." and i tell him not to talk to me, he starts to cry. I cant see my boy cry,it hurts me.

His SA is in May ,and I dont want his grades to slide.. please help me... my husband doesnt bother about my kids education. No point talking to him.

I have been experiencing that every year has changed their behaviours so fast (feb).In P3, my son also started talk back learning from school.I also worried.Talked to him.Now in P4,he told to his friend don't use bad words.His friend told him that he never say any bad word.My son told me that I have to get aggrement every time otherwise people deny easily.
I think close relationship will help in discipline.When he cried u just think I am doing good for him.Don't regret,it will spoil him.be strong.U can let him to play computer in the weekends.If I allow him to play computer he just finish and go to computer.no concentration in studies.Last few weeks I implemented no computer in weekdays.


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 Post subject: Re: Help me please ! P3 Boy becoming defiant
PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:55 pm 
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OrangeBelt
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Usually, there is quite a big gap between P2 and P3. Up to P2, there is relatively less school work and no home work at all. Then come to P3, suddenly the workload increases, home work also more, and in addition to that the distraction from computers, iphone, toys etc... Be patient with your child and be firm on what you want him to do. Repeat it to him many times until he is conditioned to your request.


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 Post subject: Re: Help me please ! P3 Boy becoming defiant
PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:34 pm 
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BlueBelt
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tutormum wrote:
It could be a sign of stress. This happened to one of my students also. I noticed the change after he was promoted to the best class. He felt pressurized to keep up with his previous performance and work seemed overwhelming. After counselling and encouragement, he got back on his feet. Sometimes, children don't know how to express themselves cos they don't understand what they were going through. This explains why the tantrum. It's their way of getting their parents' attention.


Actually I noticed my son, P4 is going thru' this stage now and I'm helpless. I tried talking to him since end Jan, Feb... I don't seem to find a solution.

He suddenly don't feel like checking his works at all....especially the school want them to start using PEN this year. I have a feeling that he is too lazy to "blanko"... his dad cane him but it just wont work!..... Just last night, I spoke to HB... we kind of agree that maybe it's time to let him have some time off... break from our assessments. I have a good talk with him, he agrees he'll take charge of all his school works and will come forward if he needs help...

Honestly, I think it's too risky to do this but I think we rather let him feel the pain (not doing well in coming SA1) rather than we're the one that pushing him all the time.... :xedfingers: :xedfingers: :xedfingers:


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 Post subject: Re: Help me please ! P3 Boy becoming defiant
PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:37 pm 
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BlackBelt
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Wah, that's young, mine start in P6, even worst.


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