My daughter displays ADD behaviour (though her diagnosis ASD and auditory processing issues). It’s something we grappled with a lot, even now she is adult. For school stuff, we found that repetition and fixed steps/methods was the best way. E.g. for every question, underline/mark the key words, follow the same steps, check back to the question at the end, etc. It’s not foolproof and doesn’t work for everything, but it cuts down the mistakes and marks lost. Even now, when talking to her, we have to make sure she is paying attention before speaking to her, otherwise we will just have to repeat it again later when it becomes clear that she didn’t hear us at all. So when you say you’ve told him something before, perhaps he wasn’t listening? I usually have to preface what I say with “xxx, listen!” and get eye contact before starting to tell her anything important. And if it’s really important, I get her to say it back to me and write it down (she learns best from what is on paper).

We learned that scolding (though sometimes we just can’t control it!) doesn’t really help. We focus on setting up the routines, and getting her attention. As she got older, she learned to manage better for herself. Your son will as well, but it will seem to take much longer than you’d like.

For retention of material, have you experimented with different methods? Writing it down in lists, making mind maps, saying it out loud, drawing illustrations, saying things out loud while walking up and down? Different things help different people. I make brief lists, one daughter makes lists too but with more elaboration, the other daughter likes to say things out loud. Try different things and see what works.

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