Be Your Child’s Coach

We never thought, that sometimes WE ARE our own setbacks…  Why? Read on…

A vital part of the learning process involves the taking of risks and the making of "mistakes". If children are to develop their potential, they must be challenged and find some tasks difficult. It is important that children deal with setbacks (note : the word failure has been avoided).

Parents have an important role in helping their children to cope with setbacks. For example, at some stages… your child has probably said something like… "I am just no good at spelling" or "I really cannot draw" and it may be that you may HAVE TRIED to reassure him by saying something along the lines of, "You cannot be good at everything…"  But if this is the case, your child may pick up the message that it is ACCEPTABLE to give up trying to succeed at certain things.

Your intentions may be good, but there is a strong chance that your child might develop the belief that you sometimes expect him to fail.  In the way that many adults invent creative excuses to explain why they should not do or try things, these young kiddies too, can develop negative self image and limit their achievements because they expect failure.

It is important to teach all our children that to become proficient in any skill or subject, be it sports skills, at math or playing the violin, there are times when there will be difficulties to be surmounted. If they equate "difficulty" with "failure", our children are likely to give up every time… On the other hand, if we regard a setback as an opportunity for learning, the concept of difficulty takes a whole new meaning.

Encourage our children to approach tasks in variety of ways in order to look for a solution and to think and believe that the next time, I will….  There was a song i learnt in school which went like this…

"If at first you don’t succeed, try… try… again…"

However, on a more encouraging note it should now be sung like this.

Rah Rah! "If at first you don’t succeed, try a different way!" Rah Rah!

  • No point being bent on old school train of thought – of like when the time we were at school, when there was only one way of learning everything…. and if we didn’t learn it that way, we’re left behind… and that we will eventually be…. failures…
  • With new age, comes new skills… we can be more creative…

There are different ways to solve one problem.. the only setback is ourselves. If we set the expectations on how WE managed to do it successfully before, that our children simply can’t, that is already a point of no return… Sad

Success comes in cans, not can’ts… so be positive and tell our children we appreciate their efforts. Encourage them to believe in their own abilities – to remind her of what they do well in. Ask our children every day, what was the best thing that happened to them that day… and ask what they are looking forward to tomorrow. Praise them at the point that they have done something that pleases you – and as many of us have discussed here – to be specific about what it was that we thought that was good! Idea

Remind our children of the successes that they have achieved despite having difficulties along the way. This may help them realise that setbacks can be overcome… and we’re always here for them every step of the way in success or in setbacks. Wink

Celebrate

 bÜds

 

Finding Nemo..

 I remember the same lesson was being taught in Finding Nemo..

Once when over-protective daddy clown-fish Marlin ask Dude-Crush, the 150+yo turtle, as the turtles ‘flung’ their kiddo out of the East Ocean Current: "How do you know when they are ready?" – Answer came something like "You don’t. When they know, you’ll know"

I think many of us adults are also not risk takers.. we tend to prefer to stick to what is known and safe eg. same old boring jobs.. I think the above applies to many of us as well… 

 

Related Articles