Zeal mummy wrote: ↑07 May 2022 22:00
We do the same too, when they were young, even clothes were x3 of the same design and colour; so there will be no arguments.
However, I am of the opinion to will the same amount of assets to each of them. Can’t penalise the smarter or more wealthy child, right?
This might change as I grow older, I suspect I might be more willing to give everything to the one who spends the most time and has shown the most love for me.
For me, think the more abilities/talents God gives, the more is expected. So, s’times if our child hv circumstances limiting them fr equal sharing (gifts, talents, wealth or love), as parents we treat them with equal measure of love.
DH & I identified some years back the need for health cover for his parents, we set aside funds enuf for next 20 years for premium pymts, but stopped short coz we realized his other brothers must be given a chance to share that act filial piety. However, one of BIL was out of work with 3 kids & homemaker wife, so 2 brothers had been sharing premiums. That does not mean this BIL love PILs less. We’re fine of PILs do not bequeathed their assets equally to us. Like LNW says, 有手有脚, we will live by our means & spend on necessities.
DH’s grandparents on father’s side had so much wealth & properties, but coz his grandpa trusts the eldest most, he was entrusted with access to manage them after his demise. Apparently, greed overcame him & he cut all his bros out & bad blood ensues.
On MIL’s side, all brothers were left with equal shares but nothing bequeathed to DH’s grandad’s mum & Aunty. The only bz left in will is for all bros to manage together but when wills are not clear, it open opportunities for manipulation. The eldest uncle hv very mild & considerate nature & will take the advice of 2nd uncle not to split share but draw fr yearly profits. 3rd & 4th uncles are not bzmen, so only apply themselves in small roles assigned by 2nd uncle. In the end, eldest uncle passed last year fr cancer, 3rd uncle XXXXX away his large share, 4th uncle died in Japan with his Jap wife leaving the cousins cut off contact with the main family. When MIL enquired what is left, 2nd uncle said nothing for grandad’s will for the girls. MIL very disappointed & was shafted to accept feudal attitude towards female line. She tried getting 3rd uncle to ensure equal sharing for all siblings & their descendants.
DH & i discussed & fr young endeavor to equip kids with independence of mind & built lifeskills. Whatever we hv will be bequeathed equally & also to a charity of our choice. As parents, we hope nvr to see estranged relationships & hope family bond carries thro generations.
True, it’s sad to see our children or cousins & uncles/aunties fight over material wealth. We just do our part to ensure our kids place more importance over building strong relationships btwn siblings & emulate it towards our generation. Pray they’ll not chase wealth over meaningful relationships.