Bringing up a kid with great personality

培养一个有灵性的孩子
by 玄原寺

最好不要对孩子说下面十句话:

1.你为什么就不能够像— …孩子被对比,很可能增加他们本能的敌对情绪,甚至耿耿于怀.
应该向孩子讲清楚你的具体要求.重点放在你希望他改变的不良行为上.

2.你怎么这么不懂事被话刺伤的孩子只会心生叛逆,把事情弄得更糟.
要和颜悦色,耐心讲理,才能达到预期的目的.

3.你简直笨到家了这话只能使他们的心灵受到极大伤害.有的因此产生自卑感,不求上进.
家长正面积极的鼓励和卓有成效的帮助,才是让孩子养成良好习惯和掌握生活本领的根本方法.

4.走开,能不能让我安静一会儿会使他们觉得自己是多余的人,产生无以名状的孤独感.
倘若你的确想独自呆一会儿,可以耐心向孩子解释:我很乐意与你在一起,只不过现在太忙,请原谅.

5.少啰嗦,闭嘴孩子会认为父母对我的意见一点也不重视.长此下去,
孩子会变得毫无主见,依赖性极强,把自己看成一个无足轻重的人.

6.老老实实去做,不然—– 空洞的威胁最终将损害家长的威信.孩子反而会继续自己的不良行为.
瞧你怎么办. 最好办法是根据实际情况选择具体的偿罚手段.

7.妈妈求你了教育最怕出现奖励不管用,惩罚不能使.孩子软硬不吃,但千万别说妈妈求你了.
说这话就意味着父母缴械投降,孩子会从心里更加篾视你

8.我没本事和孩子谈话时把自己的自卑感表露无遗.绝大多数孩子的自卑感是由家长诱发的.
父母如果能坚定自信,乐观向上,那么孩子对未来也是充满信心的.

9.揍死你当你说这话时,表明你再也拿不出什么好办法了.
这是一句根本无法兑现的大话.孩子并不会因此而停止他的活动.

10.你滚吧,想去哪里去哪里最后通牒式的话让孩子没法应对,
他虽然不想离家出走,但更不想就此低头.任性的孩子可能会逞一回英雄真的离家出走了.

应明确指出孩子的错,即使在批评的时候,也应让他感到父母的慈爱和关切. 你的孩子,你不管谁管?你的孩子,你不爱谁爱?

请你别忘了每天把这份礼物送给孩子们:

1.让孩子无拘无束

 

2.教孩子关心别人

 

3.发自内心地大笑

 

4.表扬得有技巧,鼓励孩子自信心

 

5.让艺术走进孩子心灵

 

6.微笑,让孩子懂礼貌

 

7.适时地让步

 

8.给孩子展现自己的机会

 

9.教孩子鉴赏他拥有的东西

 

10.让孩子掌握新的技能

 

11.教他控制自己的行为

 

12.教孩子懂得为自己的行为负责任

nice write up

nice write up. will keep note!

You are welcome

Hi tree nymph, AB, amylqf, WCW. I’m glad u all like this article. 

Thanks for sharing :)

Thanks for sharing 🙂

tks for sharing

tks for sharing

Hey BlurBee

Hey BlurBee,

Thanks for sharing these tips

Some of them can sometimes be difficult to implement due to circumstances arising at a particular point of time.  But we, as parents, have to do what we have to do to ensure that we bring them up to the best of our abilities.

I'm guilty as charged...

Ah Bee,

Thanks for the reminder…  I’m guilty as charge…  for Point 1…  especially when the kids are not obedient or eating too slowly.  will watch it from now on…

You are welcome

You are welcome, duriz, mintcc, ksi & Tiramisu Coco.

Actually I got a shock when I saw my post when I login to KSP.com.

I think this is actually a reminder from my DH as I sometimes "chase" my kids away when I need to work from home.

Will have to be very careful from now.

Thanks for sharing

An inspirational sharing n great reminder to us parents to mind our words n their impact on our kids.

Thanks Ah Bee... Words very

Thanks Ah Bee…

Words very tempting to say in fits of anger and frustration….but have to remember its consequence… 🙂

ksi

Thank you for sharing, Blur

Thank you for sharing, BlurBee. Sometimes when we were busy and frustrated, facing a whining or misbehaving kid, it is so tempting to just blurt out such words. Most of all to remember giving the 12 gifts mentioned in the last paragraph every day.

Thank for sharing

Thank for sharing BlurBee.

Words never to be spoken to my DD.

And twelve tips to live by everyday.

Thanks again for the inspiration 

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