As a parent, have you ever asked yourself: "What’s really happening inside the mind of my child when they say 'I’m fine?'" Or: "How do I know if my child is just going through a phase, or if they really need help?"

In a fast-moving city like Singapore, where academic pressures, digital distractions, and busy family schedules are the norm, children aren’t always equipped to tell us when they’re struggling.

In 2023, the results for Singapore’s first nationwide study on adolescent mental health and resilience were published. Conducted by researchers from the National University of Singapore, the Youth Epidemiology and Resilience (YEAR) Study surveyed over 3,000 youths aged 10 to 18, and found that one in three reported symptoms such as anxiety, low mood, and loneliness. One in 10 met the diagnostic criteria for at least one mental health disorder.

Yet only about one in 10 parents recognised these signs in their children.

The YEAR Study also revealed how young people cope: many turn to digital media and music as a form of self-therapy, using online spaces to manage emotions and feel less alone. Researchers noted that this behaviour isn’t inherently harmful, but it highlights the need for parents to build stronger emotional connections with their children.

In addition, the study’s lead researchers emphasised that resilience plays a protective role, and adolescents with higher resilience scores reported better mental health outcomes. To be specific, “resilience” refers to the ability to do the following in relation to challenges:

• Prepare
• Withstand
• Adapt
• Progress

Early and open communication within families, along with timely access to professional counselling or other forms of support, can help nurture this resilience. Read on to find out when to consider seeking mental health support for your child, and whom you can turn to.

What’s the difference between counsellors and other helping professionals like psychiatrists and psychologists? Who should my child see?

Psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists, counsellors, and coaches all play different roles in supporting mental and emotional well-being. They differ in training, professional standards, and the types of services they provide.

Understanding these distinctions will help you decide whom is the best person to help your child:

Psychiatrist

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specialises in mental health. They can diagnose and treat mental health conditions that may involve biological or chemical factors, such as depression, anxiety disorders, and ADHD.

Unlike psychologists or counsellors, psychiatrists can prescribe medication and manage treatment plans that include both medical and psychological approaches.

In Singapore, psychiatrists are fully licensed medical specialists under the Singapore Medical Council (SMC), and you can search for them on the Ministry of Health website. Most are based in hospitals, specialist clinics, or private practices. Referrals can be made through a general practitioner or a polyclinic.

You might see a psychiatrist if your child’s symptoms are severe, persistent, or if medication may be needed to stabilise mood, attention, or anxiety.

Psychologist

A psychologist is trained to assess, diagnose, and treat mental health conditions through evidence-based therapy. They may work with children experiencing anxiety, depression, behavioural issues, or learning difficulties, and can carry out formal psychological assessments.

In Singapore, practising psychologists hold at least a master’s degree in psychology, with clinical or educational specialisation. They are not yet regulated by law, but many are listed with the Singapore Psychological Society (SPS).

Psychologists typically work in hospitals, schools, government agencies, and private clinics. You might see a psychologist if your child needs a formal assessment, therapy for anxiety or depression, or support for learning or behavioural difficulties.

Psychotherapist

A psychotherapist helps clients explore and work through deeper emotional or relational difficulties that may stem from past experiences, trauma, or long-term patterns of thinking and behaviour. Therapy often involves structured, evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which teaches individuals how to recognise negative thought patterns and replace them with more balanced, realistic ways of thinking.

Psychotherapy tends to be longer-term, and it aims to bring about insight and lasting emotional change, not just immediate coping. Psychotherapists in Singapore may come from backgrounds in psychology, counselling, or social work, and usually hold postgraduate qualifications in psychotherapy. While the profession is not legally regulated, credible practitioners often belong to professional bodies such as the Association of Psychotherapists and Counsellors Singapore (APACS) or the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC).

Counsellor

A counsellor provides a safe, confidential space for children or families to talk through specific emotional, social, or behavioural challenges.

Counselling is often shorter-term and focuses on practical support — helping clients manage stress, build coping skills, and navigate changes such as school pressure, friendship issues, or family transitions. Counsellors do not diagnose conditions, but focus on understanding current difficulties and promoting resilience and emotional well-being. Many child counsellors use play, art, or creative therapies to engage children at their developmental level.

In Singapore, counsellors often have a postgraduate diploma or master’s degree in counselling, and professional recognition comes through the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC).

Coach

A coach helps clients identify goals and take practical steps towards achieving them, such as building confidence, improving study habits, or managing stress.

Coaching is unregulated in Singapore, and qualifications vary widely. Many practitioners obtain credentials from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) or the Asia Pacific Alliance of Coaches (APAC), which set professional and ethical standards.

Coaching may be helpful when a child or teen is coping well overall but could use structure, encouragement, or clarity about their goals.

In summary, here’s a quick guide on whom to consult:

• If your child shows ongoing emotional distress, sudden changes in behaviour, or prolonged withdrawal, start with a registered counsellor or psychologist.
• A psychotherapist may be more suitable if your child’s struggles are long-standing or emotionally deep-rooted.
• A psychiatrist may be needed if symptoms are severe or if medication could help stabilise mood or anxiety.
• Coaches, while useful for motivation and life skills, are not a substitute for therapy or clinical treatment.

I think my child needs to see a counsellor. Should we start with the school counsellor?

First, it's good to understand why your child might need to speak with a counsellor.

In 2021, concerns relating to school life were cited as the most common reason for children to contact Tinkle Friend, a helpline for children by the Singapore Children’s Society. Many of these calls centred on academic stress, the pressure of managing co-curricular activities, difficulties with teachers, and the anxiety that comes with assessments and exams.

By 2023, mental health had become one of the top five reasons primary school pupils reached out to the helpline. More children aged 13 and below were seeking help for issues such as self-image, anxiety, fear, anger, and persistent low moods.

The helpline’s data has also shown that children often take time to open up about their struggles. In fact, some took as many as five chats before they revealed the challenges they were facing. This illustrates how difficult it can be for children to articulate emotional distress directly, particularly if they fear being judged or dismissed.

What about children who do not contact helplines? School might be where stress and emotional changes first become noticeable, simply because children spend so much time in school. Teachers are often among the first adults to observe shifts in a child’s mood, concentration, or social behaviour. If you are concerned, do approach your child’s form teachers, and they can link you up with the school counsellor.

From a recent official update, we know that all local schools — from primary schools to junior colleges — are resourced with one to two school counsellors, while each polytechnic and ITE college currently has an average of six counsellors. 

While the school counsellor is often the most accessible first point of support, some parents may also consider engaging an external counsellor. This can be helpful when the child’s difficulties extend beyond the school environment or involve family-related stress, grief, or experiences that the child may not feel comfortable discussing in school.

For marital strife or divorce, our local family service centres run a Strengthening Families Programme, which offers counselling to children. All sessions are free-of-charge, and you can choose a location that's convenient. 

To deal with other types of family situations, you can look for help on the SG Social Support website.

How much does counselling cost in Singapore?

If you are looking only for free counselling, try Fei Yue Community Services or any of the Family Service Centres in Singapore.

For paid options, you can search for a counselling centre on Support Go Where. To give an indication of what it might cost:

• Eagles Mediation & Counselling Centre: Trial sessions begin at S$60 for individuals, and they welcome enquiries about subsidised counselling.
• Singapore Counselling Centre: Counselling fees per session range from S$196.20 to S$226.72 (with GST) depending on the experience level of the counsellor.
• Counselling and Care Centre: The standard counselling fee is S$200/hr (with GST).

To defray costs, check if your workplace or insurance package includes mental health benefits. If you are prepared to fully pay for these sessions, a realistic way to budget is to plan for four to six sessions first, since many counsellors work on short-term goals before reviewing progress. This allows you to manage costs while still giving the process enough time to make an impact.

Want to talk to other parents about counselling and other forms of mental health support? Start a conversation on the KiasuParents forum!