Don’t Be Pressured To Pressure Your Child

No offense or judgment meant on anybody, but it is useful to see things in perspective:(Sorry ah, here goes another slice of "different perspective", sashimi style).

People who have good things to say about themselves will always be louder than those who do not. (Again, no offense intended; nothing morally apprehensible about this).

Likewise, the news media likes to report on individual "successful entrepreneurs", smiling faces and all; but for every one reported, there are 30, 50, maybe 100 failures out there whom you will never hear of. Even funnier is how some of these successful entrepreneurs go down the drain after a couple of years (cf. dot.com crash).

The reverse is also true – bad news makes great news, to the press.

Anyway, my point is – don’t put this kind of pressure on yourself and put even less on your children. Be the best you can be, for your children, for yourself – don’t bother comparing or judging your kids based on others. There will always be "better" ones (and even more worse ones, perhaps?). Even better, learn from them and apply what is beneficial to your own family.

Personally, I never believe and have no interest in child prodigies. To me, what’s important is what you ultimately achieve in life and for society, regardless of age.

Last but not least, children mature at different speeds. A 2-yr-old child may seem very smart compared to her peers, but when she reaches 8, all the other 8-yr-olds have caught up, and they are all roughly the same. Why just look at the way they all speak broken SEnglish. And I recall people saying how impressive my daughter’s standard of English was just a handful of years ago.

As I said before, that’s why, what’s important is ultimately what you achieve in life, and not how clever or precocious you are at age X. A 2-yr-old who can recite latin achieves no more than an 18 or 80-yr-old who contributes nothing to life and society.

I shall stop here and not go into the subject of how so many adults devolve into immature dummies with no common sense when they grow up. Smile

Hi Insider, Thanks! I like

Hi Insider,

Thanks! I like your "balanced" philosophy to life 

I am who I am

I can’t remember I have ever used another person as a yardstick to determine my academic, work, financial, etc performance.  Basically, I am a someone who believes in "I am who I am", meaning if I know I am a 70% person, then I will go and hit that 70% and be happy with it and I will not go and think of matching another one who is a 80% / 90 % / 100% coz I recognise that abilities, backgrounds, etc, are different.

Similarly for my kids, my son is a 70% powered horse and my daughter is a 85% one from their and my point of view (academically speaking).  So, these are the yardsticks I have for them and as long as they can hover around that, we are all happy and not to be bothered with Ana getting 80% or Betty getting 100%.  Basically, a 70% child is always good enough for me (upper Primary school years onwards) and 30% go and play – my basic life philosophy.  If you put in 2 hrs for study, make sure you also play for 2 hours and then the results that you have will be the optimal academic results instead of someone who study all the while and minimal play may have better results but poor social life – that’s my teaching to my kids all this while.

 

Yes, jedamum... I guess you

Yes, jedamum… I guess you got a good point there too.
 
Hmmm… I think your points are right too if to see things from the other diff way. Thx for such highlighted diff opinion to share here! 🙂

Quote: Also try to use our

Quote: Also try to use our own performance as a standard against which to set goals. When we rely on other people’s achievements as a standard, then we might have set an incorrect expectations and create meaningless pressure.

I beg to differ slightly from the above statement.

Relying on other people’s achievement as a standard is not totally wrong if one knows how to ‘use’ it sensibly. While there is risk of setting incorrect expectations, on the other side of the coin, only when one knows of others’ standard will one be convinced to slow down in their own footsteps after taking into considerations the difference between the ‘advanced’ and the ‘norm’.

The pressure to outdo oneself at times can be greater than the pressure to outdo ‘other’s achievements’.

 

 

 

Yes, I agreed with buds

Yes, I agreed with buds points –  another person’s riches or intelligence may not equate to the person’s happiness.
 
I think we shd juz treasure what we have and try to live happily… 🙂
 
Also try to use our own performance as a standard against which to set goals. When we rely on other people’s achievements as a standard, then we might have set an incorrect expectations and create meaningless pressure.

Endless Comparisons

In life there will be endless instances where comparisons are drawn.

Be it the in-your-face kind or the it’s-out-there kind of comparisons.

Comparing children’s different unique abilities is almost as if we’re

comparing how come that guy over there is richer than me… How

come that girl is prettier than me…

 

We should all try to live life to the fullest… our way…

within our means… within our abilities… (etc) cos

without a positive outlook in life, we may just lose

what’s really important to us… what really matters..

Being ourselves and being happy.

 

Life is too short to dwell on the what if(s)..

 

And for all you know, another person’s riches or

intelligence may not equate to the person’s happiness.

 

 bÜds

thank you so much, jedamum.

thank you so much, jedamum. I’ll try to take it slow and easy from now on…..

oOPS...

I’ve done it, haven’t I? Post something new here under comment. Apologies. Does my being new to this good enough a reason? Where do I go?

P6 and Science

Hi. I am only 5-minutes new to this site, so i have yet to browse a bit. The articles posted seems interesting, hence my reason for signing in  as I hope to be able to share things with other parents. Reason number 2 is that I a looking for a good science tutor for my son who is taking PSLE this year! Yes, I know, 3 more months to go, what am I thinking? My son is doing okay but, kiasu-me  thinks he could do with a bit of help in Section B for science. Does anyone know of a good tutor to recommend me?

Thank you and I am excited to be part of all this.

Life is a journey




 

Received this sms today

 

多数人会关注你飞得高不高,少数人会关注你飞得累不累

 

Meaningful to me.

SALUTE!!

Bro Sashimi,

I share the same views.

I salute your honest comment on this topic.

It is truly from an entire different perspective.

Cheers!

Related Articles