Admit it, sharing your bed with someone is quite a special affair. It doesn’t matter whether you have been in a relationship for a long time or just entered into one, the fact that you are sharing a personal space with someone means you can’t be blasé about it.
However, despite sharing mindboggling chemistry, couples often lose the plot when it comes to bedroom matters. And the reasons can be something as simple as not following certain etiquettes while being in bed. Think about it, how many times have your partner made you grit your teeth with his snoring or sleep talking? These are just some of the minor irritants. The trick lies in not letting these romance-busters impact your otherwise sexciting life.
Problem: Sure, spooning and cuddling after an amazing session in the bed is one of the many joys of coupledom. But that doesn’t mean you spoon for such a long time, you feel like the kitchen silverware. Most men (and some women), would like nothing but to go to sleep after sex. But what if your partner wants to do nothing but cuddle?
Way out: Compromise. Before falling asleep, spend some time snuggling together, whisper a few sweet nothings and then agree to sleep apart after a while. Most of the time it happens naturally. At some point, you might have to be frank and say ‘I think I need some sleep now’. But sugarcoat it with a “love you”. Just so that s/he wouldn’t think you are an insensitive jerk.
Snoring or fidgeting
Problem: One partner might be a light sleeper who tosses just a bit. The other tosses and turns so much he/she almost pushes the partner out of bed. One person might be a light snorer; the other wakes up the entire neighbourhood. Result: restless sleep and cranky mornings.
Way out: Don’t overreact. If you are a heavy snorer, gift yourself nasal strips/ decongestants/ a visit to the doctor. If you are the sufferer, buy ear plugs, or try to put on some light music. Subtly mention to your partner how disturbed you get by loud snoring, right in the beginning of the relationship, without sounding angry or irritated (even if you are!). And as for violent tossing and turning, the remedy is to simply get a bigger mattress. In both cases, just adopt a sense of humour and try to make light of the situation so that he/she gets the message but doesn’t feel you are being too fussy.
Problem: You are a morning person and love to hit the sack by 10 pm. But your sweetheart loves his/her late night movies and can’t get a wink of sleep until the clock strikes two.
Way out: Designate a ‘lights out’ policy. Agree on say, 30 or 40 minutes of television or reading when you go to bed, but once the first person falls asleep, ideally, the other should call it a night too. Else, try reading a book with a personal lamp until you’re ready to doze off. If you are an early riser, don’t flood the room with lights when you arise. Use minimal lighting while your partner is sleeping.
What’s the décor?
Problem: You would rather keep your bedroom intimate, cosy and warm. However, there’s your partner who insists on having his/her entire family’s pictures on the walls.
Way out: Absolutely non-negotiable. This is a space between two adults, where you need to feel intimate. There is no need to feel like you have your families watching your each and every move.