Are you regularly texting your child’s teachers with questions and concerns? Recently, Singapore’s education minister Chan Chun Sing clarified his expectations on this: teachers are not expected to respond to work-related messages outside of school hours. 

From a teacher’s perspective, most parents are reasonable, but there may be a handful of challenging parents to deal with, and this can become a mental load. At the same time, there are also busy parents who are unable to interact with teachers until they are off work themselves, which makes it hard to schedule a time to speak.

From our own dealings with parents, we are aware that sometimes, parents can come across too strongly in their communications with teachers, making collaboration difficult. Disgruntled parents may also air their views freely in class chat groups, and this creates a toxic environment for everyone.

How can we prevent school situations from escalating, and work towards a more harmonious relationship with our child’s teachers? Try our tips below!

Before texting teachers, see if your class chat can help. For questions like what to bring on the following day, what uniform to wear, or what homework to complete, the class chat can be extremely helpful. If you have already approached the teacher and received useful information, do share that within the class chat as well, so that the teacher doesn’t need to answer the same questions repeatedly.

Avoid messaging teachers during rest hours. Be mindful of the time when you message your child’s teachers. Just as you likely prefer to avoid work-related texts after office hours, it’s important to respect teachers’ personal time as well. Try to avoid texting teachers between 6PM and 6AM, as most teachers begin their workday early, around 7AM. Maintaining these boundaries allows teachers to recharge, ensuring they can be fully present for your child during the school day. 

Focus on facts, not emotion. Although you may be writing to your child’s teacher about a serious matter, such as classroom bullying, try to maintain a professional tone in your messages. Instead of saying “I am very upset,” you could say “I am concerned…” 

For clarity, use bullet points where possible and keep your language simple and straightforward. When raising an issue with the teacher, be specific about what happened. For example, rather than saying “My child was bullied,” you could say, “Earlier today, my child was shoved by two classmates on the way to the washroom. This is the third time this has happened this week.” This approach provides the teacher with clear information and actionable details.

Be sure to end your message on a collaborative note, such as “Please let me know how we can work together to resolve this quickly.” This shows a willingness to cooperate, and helps foster a productive dialogue with the teacher.

Provide more than one way for teachers to contact you. Typically, you could ask teachers to contact you via phone or email. You can also mention if there are preferred hours for phone calls, especially if you’re not available at certain times. For instance, you could say, “I’m generally available for calls between 9 AM and 5 PM, but you can always email me, and I will respond as soon as possible.”

Including multiple contact options gives the teacher flexibility to choose their preferred mode of communication for each circumstance.

For non-urgent matters, give teachers a few days to respond. Teachers juggle multiple responsibilities, so it’s important to be patient. If you have contacted a teacher about a non-urgent matter, wait two or more days for a response before following up. You might say, “I understand you’re busy, so no rush in getting back to me — I hope to hear from you by this week, or at your earliest convenience.”

If you haven’t received a reply after a reasonable time, a polite follow-up message can be sent, such as, “Just checking in on my previous message…” Other alternatives include calling the school, or showing up personally at the staff room, which should ensure that you are promptly attended to.

Respect privacy. Don’t share teachers’ private responses, unless you have their explicit permission. Teachers’ messages are often intended for you or your child specifically, and forwarding them without consent could lead to misunderstandings or breaches of confidentiality. If you feel the information might be useful for other parents or the class, ask the teacher first: “Would it be alright if I shared this with the class chat?” This ensures that you maintain respectful communication and protect the teacher’s privacy.

Respect the chain of communication. If the issue is more serious, such as unresolved problems with another student or other situations affecting your child’s well-being, it’s important to first communicate with the school, beginning with your child’s teachers. If you don’t get a response, or a satisfactory resolution, you can escalate it to the Ministry of Education — but always give the school a chance to address it first.

Send commendations too, not just complaints and concerns. Typically, parents reach out to teachers only when something has gone wrong, but it’s equally important to acknowledge positive experiences. If your child has enjoyed a lesson or made progress due to a teacher’s efforts, send a quick note of appreciation. These small gestures of gratitude can boost morale and strengthen the relationship between parents and teachers.

Calling all P6 parents: Wondering how to support your child when the PSLE results are released? Join our KiasuParents Family Huddle on 30 October to pick up practical tips from a psychiatrist!