Today, as I cradled my darling daughter in my arms and gazed at her peaceful sleeping countenance, I was overwhelmed by a profound sense of maternal love. As I touched her face gingerly with my fingertip, tracing her face contour starting from her hairline, down her eyebrow, her eyelid, touched the tip of her cute button nose and the outline of her lips, a silent tear rolled down my cheek. A tear of deep gratitude – for this precious miracle of life lying asleep in my arms.
Just earlier in the day, I had given her three hard spanks on her palm for being rude to me. Though she was upset for being disciplined and looked as if she was going to cry, she did not. I know this child is strong-willed and probably has a stubborn streak in her. The fact that she held her tears and refused to cry also shows that she is rather headstrong and has a lot of pride. She doesn’t want to show her vulnerable side to others, not even in front of her mummy.
But nevertheless, my love for her is not dependent on whether she is good or naughty. She is the love of my life and I know to her, I am her world. She is totally dependent on me to bring her up, nurture her and give her the best I could. But I’m not a perfect mother. I have my flaws and insecurities, too. I can only pray that my imperfections will not leave any scar in her childhood, or hinder her development into a wholesome, joyful woman with a beautiful mind and a kind spirit.
Suddenly it dawned on me that perhaps this is my ultimate calling in life – to nurture and bring up this precious child that God has entrusted in my life; to love and cherish her without asking for anything in return. And when she is a grown woman and the time comes for me to let go, I pray I would be able to let go and let her bring up her next generation. That is when I know my purpose in life is fulfilled and hopefully, I can proudly say that I am satisfied with the fruit of my labour and I have no regrets.