Proper Application of Corporal Punishment

Spanking and COMMUNICATION need to go hand in hand for effective discipline to take place.

Rich communication prohibits cold, tyrannical discipline and provides an opportunity for the child to be known and learn to know himself.

The finest art of communication is not learning how to express your thoughts.  It is learning how to draw out the thought of others.  The objective of communication is to understand your child.  Parents need to help our children articulate their thoughts and feelings.  That, I believe, is the toughest part of discipline.

Spanking that is initiated by frustration or venting of own anger will not have any long term positive effect or purpose.

Spankings must be issue-oriented and not for general purposes.

Use the correct tool and at the correct place. Never use your hand.

Use tool only for acts and attitudes of rebellion against authority and never as a threat before the offence is committed.

After spanking, tell him how much you love him and it grieves you to spank him.

Consider the frequency of the offense, context of the moment, age of child and the child’s over-all characterisation of behaviour before administrating the discipline.

A child’s behaviour reflects his heart. If you want to help your child, you must be concerned with the attitude of heart that drive his behaviour. We can change behaviour without changing the heart. Therefore discipline must address attitudes of the heart. We , as parents, need to learn how to engage our children. I am still in the process of learning.

See: Forum thread.

totally agreed.

thanks for sharing on caning from 4yrs onwards. currently i am using hand to spank my 20months old girl on her hand and she understands why i did that.


My kids know

My kids know what a cane is from about 4 years old (meaning below that age, I don’t use cane).


My caning ‘style’ is very ‘principal like’.  One particular wall, both hands on the wall, we talk about the issue, the child has to choose whether he/she thinks the mistake deserves 1 or 2 or 3 strokes and there is a ‘bargaining’ process.  Agreed?  Caning administered on the buttock.  At night, I will check his/her buttock got mark/s or not and apply ointment if need be.


Such practice stops when the child reaches about 9 years old (coz I think talk is more powerful than caning from this age onwards).

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