Is it normal for parents to feel overwhelmed in the months leading up to the Primary School Leaving Examination, or PSLE?

Yes, of course! Simply ask the parents around you, and you’ll probably realise that many others are feeling some level of anxiety, especially if they are invested in their children’s education. 

Don’t be embarrassed by your feelings, or try to suppress them — the PSLE is a milestone exam, and this often comes with expectations and pressure for both children and parents. It’s natural to experience a range of emotions as you help your child to navigate the preparation process, and find a balance between work and play. In fact, acknowledging your feelings is the first step to self-care, and caring for yourself will allow you to be a more present and supportive parent to your child during a potentially fraught season.

Below, we outline some PSLE revision scenarios that can lead to stress in the home. We’ll also suggest what parents can do to turn the situation around, minimise mental load, and help their children feel better too!

Scenario 1: My child has received feedback that she fidgets a lot and is “too soft” during oral practice. I’m not sure what to do.

When exams are drawing near and your child shows you negative feedback from the school, you may feel fear and a sense of powerlessness. At the same time — even if you agree that the feedback is valid — you may try to put up a brave front and support your child with positive comments. This can lead to an inner struggle, where you’re trapped between wanting to shield your child from additional stress, while recognising the importance of addressing feedback constructively to help your child improve. 

When you’re caught in this situation, try to identify what’s realistic and achievable, and focus only on that. For instance, you can acknowledge that a soft-spoken child will not learn to project their voice in a matter of weeks. But you could have oral practice sessions with your child seated further away from you, and encourage your child to raise her volume just slightly. 

If you’re not sure how to deal with certain feedback, such as getting a child to stop fidgeting, reach out to your network. For instance, you could ask your child’s teacher or tutor for advice. Here’s a useful tutor tip: If your child has a need to move around constantly, see if they are able to briefly redirect that energy to a part of their body that is less visible, such as their toes. In this way, they can satisfy their need for movement without being too obvious, and this can improve the way that they present themselves during the oral exams.

Scenario 2: There are too many updates from the school, with instructions and resources to download. I feel so disorganised!

It can be disorienting to receive regular updates from the school. We now get school messages from ParentsGateway and ClassDojo, while school materials are often accessible via other apps such as Google Classroom. The reality is that some parents step in to help their children manage the information overload, while others have tuned out completely.

Ultimately, you do have a choice — if you believe the information is useful and wish to track it, it can be enjoyable to use free productivity apps such as Notion to stay organised. For instance, you can create simple revision checklists for your child to go over school materials, and customise your dashboard to look visually appealing for both you and your child:

Using productivity apps, you can also create your own template to track weekly updates from subject teachers:

Depending on your personality, the act of organising information can feel reassuring and therapeutic. You can also share your resource with other parents, or send it to your child’s tutors so that they can align their efforts with what the school is doing. 

For busy parents, or parents who find dealing with information stressful, do yourself a favour and minimise your exposure to school updates. The class WhatsApp group can be a comforting network during this time — post a question in the chat if you need help, and there is likely to be someone with a ready answer. Teachers are also quick to respond to messages, and you can rest assured that if something truly needs your attention, you will be notified.

Scenario 3: My child has received thick booklets from the school filled with “model answers.” He feels intimidated, and so do I.

Here’s a simple rule of thumb: if something makes you or your child feel bad, don’t use it. 

Instead, look for alternative resources that don’t induce a feeling of dread, such as a book of sketchnotes or colourful revision flashcards.

It may also help if you reflect on your personal values regarding education. For instance, if you believe that a “model composition” doesn’t necessarily reflect good writing skills, it’s easier to let go of the need to fit the mould. Similarly, the oral exam is not representative of a real-life conversation — in order to be a good conversationalist, one needs to be an attentive listener and ask good questions, rather than launching into a monologue. 

By not placing too much emphasis on things that won’t matter in the long run, you can save yourself plenty of heartache, and be of better support to your child.

Scenario 4: My child’s school is holding revision classes over Zoom, and I feel worried when I see her classmates answering questions confidently. They seem much more prepared for the exams than my child!

To feel less worried, you can reframe this situation for yourself and your child — it’s great to have a reality check while there’s still time to revise! 

With Zoom sessions, there is usually the option to watch a recording instead, and this may work better for your child. For one, your child won’t have to worry about being called upon and looking unprepared. 

Here’s a strategy that works for watching recorded lessons: If the teacher asks a question, your child can pause the video and attempt to answer the question. After which, she can compare it to the classmate’s answer, as well as the teacher’s recommendation. In this way, your child can have an interactive experience that is great for learning as well as confidence-building.

Scenario 5: My child has completed a set of practice questions at home for Science, as recommended by the school. Even though an answer sheet was provided, I find it daunting to mark his work.

It is stressful when we feel that we have to play the role of a teacher at home, for subjects that we haven’t studied in decades. It doesn’t help that some enrichment schools have taken to chastising parents for “making mistakes” and impeding our children’s PSLE progress!

But here’s the good news: You don’t have to be your child’s teacher. Rather, think of yourself as a fellow learner, working alongside your child. Instead of marking your child’s work, you can get your child to read his answer aloud, followed by the recommended answer. Then ask your child, “Is there any difference between your answer and the school’s answer?” This removes the burden of knowledge from you, and places the responsibility on your child to find ways to improve his work.

If your child has answered many questions inadequately despite having done some revision, you can ask him questions such as, “How did you revise for this topic?” or “This fact is in your revision notes. Did you read this section and quiz yourself?” This helps your child to assess if his earlier revision efforts were sufficient, and he can create a new plan to reread the topic with a different approach. 

What can you do if your child is feeling demoralised that his initial revision efforts have not paid off? Tell him that information retention works much better with repeated exposure, and assure him that he’ll remember more by going through the material again — it’s all part of the learning process.

Want to chat with other parents about preparing for the PSLE? Join the conversation on the KiasuParents forum!