If your child is in Primary 6 this year, you’ve almost reached the end of the PSLE journey. But as Results Day approaches, many parents find their hearts racing faster than their kids’.

To support parents through this emotional milestone, we recently held a KiasuParents Huddle webinar on staying calm during Results Day. Our panel of experienced parents agreed on one golden rule: your relationship with your child matters more than any score.

To prepare yourself for Results Day, we recommend that you watch this short clip, featuring our panellist Esther Foong. Esther is a family life education specialist, who also supervises trainee teachers at the National Institute of Education (NIE). She has two children, one of whom is taking the PSLE this year.

Below, she shares her personal strategy for discussing and choosing schools with her children:

For quick reference, here are some takeaways from the clip:

• Shortlist secondary schools based on three “bands” — schools that match your child’s prelim results, schools that are slightly out of reach for your child, and schools with a more generous cut-off point, in case your child fares worse than expected. Before the results, discuss these scenarios and the relevant school choices with your child. This way, they will be prepared for the most likely outcomes.
• For each of your shortlisted “bands,” it’s good to include at least two schools that offer CCAs that your child likes. However, bear in mind that secondary schools have their CCA selection process, and not all children will get their first choice CCA.
• If you need reassurance, it helps to remember that your child will not be “stuck” because of the PSLE results. In fact, the new “Posting Group” system is very different from the Express and Normal streams of the past. Your child’s assigned Posting Group is only for Secondary 1. Subsequently, if they do well, they will get opportunities to take subjects at higher levels.
• For children who are offered the option of choosing between a “higher” or “lower” posting group (e.g. the Express-equivalent G3 vs G2), don’t be too quick to choose the “more difficult” level. Instead, consider your child’s strengths, learning needs, interests, and the pace at which they can handle secondary school.
• When shortlisting secondary schools, parents typically focus on the academic standing of secondary schools, but children may have very different priorities. For instance, they may care about the school uniform, the quality of canteen food, and whether their friends might be attending the same school. But do also note that not all kids share the same desires — some may prefer to go to a school where they can get a fresh start.

Found the above tips useful? Read on as we share more insights from the webinar, plus additional advice from our KiasuParents team!

What should parents do on PSLE Results Day, to make it a good day regardless of score?

First, if you’re worried that Results Day will be emotional, consider taking your child out for a celebration before the PSLE results are released. This way, you can focus on enjoying the outing.

Alternatively, you can prepare a card or handwritten note to give to your child on Results Day. Don’t hesitate to be creative: We know of a mother who once asked her friends to mail encouraging postcards to her child!

Before Results Day, you may also wish to decide as a family how you will handle questions about your child’s score. Some children dislike attention even if they have done well. Or they may do well, but still feel they’ve fallen short of their personal goals. Beyond this group, there will be children who will think that their results are mediocre, or that they have let their parents down. You can check beforehand if your child would like you to share their results, and to what extent you can share.

Thankfully, in recent years, Singaporeans have become more sensitive about children’s feelings. For instance, it’s now common practice to send well-wishes to a PSLE child a day before Results Day, and leave it to the family if they wish to share further updates. At the same time, close friends and extended family members do often check in on Results Day — if you know that your loved ones will do this, you can make your child’s preferences known to them.

At our webinar, one of our panellists also brought up that collecting results alongside peers is an exercise in empathy. Apart from dealing with their own results, children can learn to cheer on a friend who has done well, or console a friend who is feeling bad. These are additional scenarios that you can discuss prior to Results Day.

Finally, note that schools have different ways of releasing the results. You can easily check on this by enquiring with your parent network. If your child’s school tends to release results in a way that celebrates only top scorers, you may prefer to skip the official Results Day collection and get the results separately, perhaps the day after. This really depends on the potential impact on your child, and parents would be in the best position to assess this.

In terms of dealing with the actual results, do your best to remain calm. It helps if you have a prepared statement for what to say to your kids, such as “I’m proud of you for persevering with the work, and coming this far. Everything will be fine.”

Here’s a good way to lighten the mood on Results Day: arrange for your child to spend time with their closest friends after collecting the results. It’s a chance for you to talk with other parents as well, which may help you to process your own feelings.

Of course, Results Day will always be challenging if the scores are disappointing. Typically, children collect their results while parents are seated in a waiting area. This gives you an opportunity to observe your child as they return to you. If they look despondent, you can ask: “How do you feel about the results?” to see if they will share how they’re feeling. Accept that your child may have negative feelings — it’s natural for kids to feel upset, disappointed, and angry with themselves.

You should also be aware that children have the tendency to say “I’m OK,” no matter how they’re feeling. If this is the case with your child, give them time to process and name their emotions. Observe their tone, their energy, and their posture in the next few days, and see if they’re willing to open up to you. If not, think about whom they might feel comfortable sharing their feelings with — this could be a sibling, an extended family member, or a family friend.

What if my child didn’t put in their best effort for the PSLE? Is this a good time to teach consequences?

If you know your child didn’t put in their best effort for the PSLE, it’s understandable to feel disappointed or frustrated. But on Results Day, what your child needs most is a chance to reflect safely on what happened.

That’s why it’s best not to rush into teaching “consequences” right away. In the immediate aftermath, emotions often run high for both parent and child. When you respond in that space, lessons about accountability can easily feel like punishment or rejection.

What you can do instead: Allow a few days to pass. When things have settled, open a conversation by asking, “What do you think got in the way of preparing for the PSLE?” This question invites reflection rather than defensiveness. It encourages your child to look inward and identify patterns — perhaps procrastination, distractions, or even fear of failure — without feeling judged. 

Your tone and timing matter deeply. The message to convey is, “This result doesn’t define you, but it’s worth understanding what happened so you can make different choices next time.”

Once reflection has taken root, work together to set small, realistic goals for secondary school. You can help your child to establish a study routine, and teach your child to break big tasks into smaller ones, or learn to ask for help sooner. Importantly, this process should feel collaborative, not imposed. When you ask, “How can we help you with that?” you model partnership and respect, and your child begins to feel ownership over their growth.

What if my child doesn’t seem interested in their results, or choosing a secondary school? How should I motivate them?

If your child doesn’t seem interested in their PSLE results or in choosing a secondary school, it can be worrying. But a lack of enthusiasm doesn’t always mean defiance or apathy. It can sometimes be a sign of exhaustion, uncertainty, or emotional overload.

It’s helpful to consider the timing of your post-PSLE discussions. Your child might simply be tired from the lead-up to exams and the stress surrounding the results. Pushing for discussion immediately can make them shut down further. Give them a bit of space, then check in again when things have calmed. You could start with something gentle, like, “I notice you haven’t said much about school options. Is it because you’re not sure yet, or you just need a bit of time?” 

Sometimes, children genuinely don’t have a clear preference. At age 12, many haven’t yet developed a strong sense of direction, and that’s fine. If you find they struggle to open up to you, it might help to involve someone else they trust, like an older cousin. A different voice, free from parental expectations, can make them more willing to talk.

Rather than focusing only on academics or school names, connect the discussion to their real interests. Ask about what excites them, be it gaming, coding, photography, music, or sports. When children can see how their passions might link to subjects, courses, or school activities, the idea of choosing a school can feel more meaningful.

It’s also worth exploring what might be driving the lack of motivation. Sometimes it stems from disappointment; your child might feel they’ve already “failed,” so their instinct is to disengage to avoid further hurt. Other times, it’s simply burnout. Motivation doesn’t thrive in an exhausted mind. Check for signs of low mood or withdrawal, and respond with empathy rather than urgency.

You can gently re-engage them by asking questions that open doors rather than close them. “What do you imagine yourself doing for work one day?” or “Where are your friends planning to go?” These questions make the conversation more personal and less pressured. 

Attending open house events together can also help: Try to talk to existing students, to ask them what they like about school, who their friends are, and how they cope with challenges.

What if my child can make it to an IP school but prefers to stay in the O-Level track?

Ultimately, your child is the one who will attend the school, so it’s essential to consider their perspective.

For a member of our KiasuParents team: Her daughter wanted to continue in her affiliated secondary school but narrowly missed the Integrated Programme (IP) cut-off score for that school. She could qualify for the IP track in other schools. 

Because the primary school journey had been smooth, she was happy to let her daughter own the decision. After the O-Levels, her daughter qualified for the International Baccalaureate programme — she had studied on her own, with no tuition other than for Chinese. Once again, her daughter was trusted to make her own decisions, and she said she was ready to leave the affiliated school community to experience a new environment.

If you wish to encourage your child to choose an IP school, here’s what you should know:

• At IP schools, students need to be independent learners. There is plenty of self-learning and self-marking.
• IP schools run many programmes for their students, who have to manage packed schedules.
• There is a focus on group projects in IP schools, and one might expect to be in online meetings for different projects every day, even at night.
• Studying in an IP school can be fun — if your child can handle it.

Want to chat with other parents about PSLE 2025 and choosing secondary schools? Join the conversation on the KiasuParents forum!