What is Your Love Language?

Yesterday I watched MM Lee on TV news giving a farewell speech for his wife. Later he bent over his wife’s coffin and gave her 2 kisses (using his fingers from his lips to her forehead).

I was almost moved to tears. This is the first time I have ever seen the softer side of MM Lee, and I’m really moved by his devoted love for his wife of 63 years.

It’s not easy to maintain such a lasting yet loving marriage in this day and age, but it’s not impossible. I believe if you have married your soulmate, you have won half the battle. The other half comes from cherishing and maintaining the marriage.

DH and I came across this book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman on the secret to lasting love and marriage. The book has helped us to determine our primary love languages (everyone should have one or two primary love languages) so we can apply the appropriate love language on each other for a lasting and loving marriage.

Thot I would share it here:

 
The 5 Love Languages (by Gary Chapman)

1. Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Thanks for sharing :)

Thanks for sharing 🙂

tks for sharing

tks for sharing

Hi Buds, Of course it would

Hi Buds,

Of course it would be ideal if the person we married is also our soulmate. But I must add that even though I married my soulmate, I also have to put in tons of efforts to maintain my marriage so that it will grow stronger with time and not diminish with complacency nor tainted by toxic outside influences or the stresses and demands of life. I also have to put in extra efforts to protect my marriage from an intrusive, bias and domineering MIL who almost wreck my marriage…

Yes, it’s not easy. That’s why we cannot take our marriage for granted. So let’s work together in maintaining our own marriage. Go get the book and get your hubby to read it too. All the best!  

 

 

Soulmate?

Quote Angelight, "It’s not easy to maintain such a lasting yet loving marriage in this day and age, but it’s not impossible. I believe if you have married your soulmate, you have won half the battle. The other half comes from cherishing and maintaining the marriage."

Then, it will be difficult for you to believe that for people like myself who did not get to marry our soulmate will have it even harder, cos we do not have half the battle at all.. more to just going into battle… head on too! Kekekee.. then if one adds meddlesome in-laws to the equation and you can never believe the how the time bomb ticks every single day. It is even harder for the other half of cherishing & maintaining too.. but like you said though it is not easy.. it is not impossible. I for one am trying my darnest and i can tell that hubs is now putting in effort too, which i can see, hear and feel.. and from the excerpts you have shared in the above 5 Languages, i suppose we could be going on the right track… I am definitely interested in getting my hands on this Gary Chapman book. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

 

 bÜds

Like many, I was touched by

Like many, I was touched by MM’s love for his wife. It is a lesson to many younger folks including myself on what the marriage vows really mean.

Thanks for the reminder! My

Thanks for the reminder! My friend told me about the 5 love languages. It’s really quite useful cos both partners need to know which is important for themselves and for the other party, otherwise you keep showing your love in the ‘wrong’ way, and you’ll get frustrated when the other party doesn’t appreciate it!

I’m quite lucky that hubby and I value similar things. My friend was complaining that her bf doesn’t really say words of affirmation and doesn’t like to show physical affection publicly. Quite a common ‘man’ problem, I think!

I too was moved by old man Lee’s love for his wife. I sure hope that hubby and I will be equally dedicated to each other for life. It’s quite discouraging seeing so many marriages around fall apart and to hear so many stories of people cheating.

Had read about the 5 love

Had read about the 5 love languages when one of the Straits Times lady columnist wrote about it a few months back, and I must say when DW and I went through it, it was bang-on accurate. It did really make a change in the way that DW and I now communicate and set expectations for each other.

Thank you for sharing

Thank you for sharing Angelight.

When  I read MM’s eulogy to his love, it moved me so much that I cried. I reread it with DH and we were both very touched and humbled.

Thanks for sharing,

Thanks for sharing, Angelight, and I like the very practical ideas of showing love listed here.

Great sharing

Thanks for sharing, this reminds me to spend more time with hubbie and to love him in the way that will meet his needs. I was also touched when I saw and read how much MM Lee loved his wife.

I truely want to embrace

I truely want to embrace love after reading some many articles on the uncondition love between MM Lee and wife.   I need to work on this and appreciate the time that I  spend with my hubby  – not much in the recent years due to work (oversea), kids and other things.   Jia You!

True Love

From MM’s eulogy, we learnt how true their love was. It’s indeed a TRUE love story coming from a traditional Chinese man…something which we wouldn’t expect him to say to the public. Beautiful, heart-warming and touching.

 Yea, seeing MM today did

 Yea, seeing MM today did bring a lump in my throat.

A nice brief review.

Wonder words but as most things not easy to follow; most beautiful things almost never are easy but they are worth the effort. Will try to follow….

Sun  

Thanks

Thanks for sharing.

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