Yesterday I watched MM Lee on TV news giving a farewell speech for his wife. Later he bent over his wife’s coffin and gave her 2 kisses (using his fingers from his lips to her forehead).
I was almost moved to tears. This is the first time I have ever seen the softer side of MM Lee, and I’m really moved by his devoted love for his wife of 63 years.
It’s not easy to maintain such a lasting yet loving marriage in this day and age, but it’s not impossible. I believe if you have married your soulmate, you have won half the battle. The other half comes from cherishing and maintaining the marriage.
DH and I came across this book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman on the secret to lasting love and marriage. The book has helped us to determine our primary love languages (everyone should have one or two primary love languages) so we can apply the appropriate love language on each other for a lasting and loving marriage.
Thot I would share it here:
The 5 Love Languages (by Gary Chapman)
1. Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
2. Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
3. Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
4. Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
5. Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.