When adversity comes knocking…

I have been going through quite a rough patch recently and have been and still is trying to keep myself afloat.. When feeling down, I will read this story that I have laminated and placed on my work desk again and again… and try to internalize and find strength….

For all of you out there who need a courage booster to hang in there and May We All Be COFFEE!!!

Here’s the story I wish to share:

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee

…you will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, ‘ Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, mother?’

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they  had changed the water. ‘Which are you?’ she asked her daughter.

‘When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.  When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest  do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!

Glad you like it!!

Hi Chenonceau,

Yup, every year around this time I will be in such a ..mood.. and it helps a little when reading this..

Cheers!!

I love this story!!

I love this story!!

Great article. I don't

Great article.

I don’t drink coffee but "YAYY"

Thanks for sharing!

born in massachusetts, usa on 6th oct 2008 — my name is lucas wan!

Yes, I want and inspire to be COFFEE.. !
Good job, keep these inspiring stories coming in …!

"I like your reply" was refering to Buds reply earlier...

Sob..

Sob…

This couldn’t have come at a better time, RRMummy.

My heart is aching reading this story you’ve shared..

…..

Inspirational!

Love it! thank you 

Now I know what reason to tell my hubby for me to drink 3 cups of coffee per day 

I like your reply

 why can’t I stop laughing when reading your writing?

Great Sharing!

Great Sharing!

I'll be there for you..

Dear dear buds, if you wish to share can PM me..  a few possibilitites comes to mind but no point guessing.. I hope all will be okay for you soon.. i think it has been awhile since I shed tears as much as I am recently.. but I think we will be fine.. take comfort that you have done alot for those around you and ‘someone’ up there is watching and will take good care of you too.. this is dedicated to u today:

 Footsteps In The Sand

  

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.

 

When the last scene of his life flashed before him
he looked back, at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.

  

This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you’d walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

  

The LORD replied:
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you,
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

 Author unknown

I hear ya, girl...

 

"Irregardless of what issues we each face, when all these come tumbling down

and all at the same time..  well, it just seems like no way out…

end of the world kinda feeling.."

Heck, yeah… I hear ya, girl. If you only knew what i had to go through recently,

all i wanted was an easy way out. Things are still uncertain as of now...

No other person in the world can truly understand and feel the exact distress when all comes tumbling down.. I dare say not even the significant other half.. and guys being guys have a very matter-of-fact view to ‘sort and solve’ your issues. I luv my hubs and I know he was trying to help but those critical "should-have, should not have" analysis just adds stress since we can’t turn back time..so yah, braving it out alone and hopefully unscraped..

I dare say too.

Yup same here..I am a full-blown carrot and thru the years have often times chose to be an egg.. but, but this time round, the issues doesn’t allow me to be a carrot nor an egg… for myself, for my family, for my career… I only have one choice and that is like it or not, I have to be coffee!!

Yeah… guess we have too, aye? 

 

 bÜds

Treading a fine line..

Jedamum, Glad you have found courage from your DH and DSs 

I quote myself "to share our lessons learnt in advance… not that we could prepare them for enough possibilities in life…..but when the adversities come knocking, starting to prepare them might prove a tad too late…"

I agree with you, jedamum that it is a fine line to tread on. Much like the fear of finding out one day that my being ‘understanding’ has spoilt my child…  Definitely, the maturity of an individual child plays a part.. while being able to totally comprehend a situation might be age-dependant, I think empathy is not. While my DD1 at 1.5yo emphatizes with Bambi when he teared after the gunshots and his mama was no more.. my DD2 at 3yo is not even close.. 

After she calms down, I will tell her abt that particular adversity in life.. of course as she grows older the content of the discussion deepens.. it is crucial to let her feel that come what may, there will always be a way out, we will always be there (physically for now.. ) the sun will still come out and all will be well again, finally…

I wish not to make her look at life bleakly but to be ‘prepared’ and not ‘bow’ out from the life.. empowering her with the strenght that she is not alone on this road.. that many have ‘survived’ such an ordeal or even worse and she will too…

I fear that if I over-cushion my gals and let them feel like life is a bed of roses, they will not be able to handle life’s nasty blows.. We all know that it is not always successful to get the message across to someone when they are already thinking that it is the end of the world for them…  

JMHO.. parenting and its dilemmas.. 

RRMummy, thanks for sharing

RRMummy, thanks for sharing this story.

I especially agree with your comment on:-

it is important that give them a chance to learn to handle tough situations, hopefully with us around with some guidance and lots of support – maybe with some options they could internalize and choose what works best for them…

In a way, I had grown up with no worries. Despite barely able to put bread on the table, my parents never require us to work for our studies. Life to us, children, was basic and good. But in the times of distress that my parents went through (hospitalization, loss of job, loss of kin) had a great impact on me. Children in our days (in our household) were meant to be seen and not heard. We were not specifically rope in to minimise the distress (eg work for our school fees in times when the dad went jobless) but we were not specifically shield from it either. No talk, no nothing.

I don’t know if I was or am a carrot, egg or coffee, but such past experiences did pay a part in making me more pessimist than i wish i am. Thinking back, my views of what is in stall for me in the future has been very very bleak until I met my husband and have kids.

My point is, without proper communications and understanding of our kids’ ability to handle adversity, exposing them to such may cause them to have a bleak outlook of life.

On how much and when to share is deem appropriate, that is a thin line to tread on and defers from child to child and from age to age.

JMHO.

I read this story

I read this story somewhere. but it is still good to read it again and again. thanks for sharing with us.

hey resident owlette, BE coffee!

Hey buds, no lah, don’t drink coffee, but BE coffee!!

psst.. err.. you already are coffee… look at how you inspire and immerse us and give all we forumers reasons to be better teachers to our kids with all your know-how, experiences and ideas!!

Thank you, Resident Owlette! 

Prepare our kids for the world

Yes, foreverj, it is an instinct for us as parents to protect our kids from adversities- almost like with our lives.. but it is important that give them a chance to learn to handle tough situations, hopefully with us around with some guidance and lots of support – maybe with some options they could internalize and choose what works best for them…

But through this all, I think it is important that such preparation and lessons about hardship in life be done ‘in advance’ – what I’m trying to say is to share our lessons learnt in advance… not that we could prepare them for enough possibilities in life…

..but when the adversities come knocking, starting to prepare them might prove a tad too late…

sorry if my rumbling doesn’t make sense.. and come out incoherent…

Resident Owl-lette

Heyya RRMummy, I am already the self-professed resident owlette here..

If topped up with coffee……… 

 bÜds

thanks for sharing this

thanks for sharing this inspiring story!

Buds, let's train ourselves to like coffee!

Hi buds,

Irregardless of what issues we each face, when all these come tumbling down and all at the same time.. well, it just seems like no way out… end of the world kinda feeling..

No other person in the world can truly understand and feel the exact distress when all comes tumbling down.. I dare say not even the significant other half.. and guys being guys have a very matter-of-fact view to ‘sort and solve’ your issues. I luv my hubs and I know he was trying to help but those critical "should-have, should not have" analysis just adds stress since we can’t turn back time..so yah, braving it out alone and hopefully unscraped..

Yup same here..I am a full-blown carrot and thru the years have often times chose to be an egg.. but, but this time round, the issues doesn’t allow me to be a carrot nor an egg..for myself, for my family, for my career…I only have one choice and that is like it or not, I have to be coffee!!

great story

thanks for the inspiring story! it has always been my concern that our future generation is growing up to be weaker and less resilient as they are generally more sheltered and protected and usually grow up in a loving and caring family. being less exposed to harsh comments and difficulties, they may not be able to weather storms in life very well.

this story is a good sharing and testimony for anyone (not just children) that we ourselves are responsible to make the best of whatever situation we are placed in. life is no bed of roses but to overcome the challenges/ difficulties will certainly make us stronger and better people.

Sob..

Sob…

This couldn’t have come at a better time, RRMummy.

My heart is aching reading this story you’ve shared..

As i read it through once over, i thought i was carrot… Cause ya know why? I caved in.. to my issues at hand and decided to forgive and let myself be soft, and feel like yeah…what happened was definitely my own doing. As if my complacency in life actually led to my downfall…

So… was i really carrot?

Then, as i continued on with the next description of the egg…

I was thinking, heck boy… that egg is definitely me!

Cause as i soldiered on my days after my big downfall, I was kinda hard inside. Pretending everything was fine and back to normal… but God knows it’ll never BE normal. But too hard i was not.. as i am strong but not hard and void of emotion..

Finally, i arrived to the climax of the story and i wanted to wail aloud.

This definitely IS ME!!! But, but… but… i DON’T LIKE COFFEE!!

Wuaaah-Wuaah-Wuaah!!

 bÜds

Glad u like it, siak

Yes siak, it is good eh… when I first receive this I thought it was good illustration.. but when really during those dark, trying times the story comes into a whole different light…to whom ever wrote this story, I have much to thank…   

Thanks Zack!

Thanks Zack! I hope so too..   

  But well, Iike the old saying what doesn’t kill us makes us a ‘stronger’/’smarter’…

Cheers (with coffee), bro!

Love this illustration

thanks, i like these three illustration. Indeed, a good way to catch the message. One day I may have to use this for my kids.

Hope all works out well for

Hope all works out well for your RRMummy … Thanks for sharing the coffee ermmm story 🙂

Related Articles