I have two children, now 14 and 19, and there's one thing I've been lucky about: both children were never interested in social media. But it doesn't mean I should assume my children are insulated from online risks.

It's true that I haven't had to deal with some of the pressures that other parents face. Things like social media bullying or exposure to content that damages self-esteem.

But kids and teens don't need to be scrolling social media all day to run into trouble online. 

It can happen through YouTube, games, class chats, shared devices, or links sent by friends. Sometimes it starts in ways that look completely ordinary. A child joins a group chat. A video recommendation leads somewhere else. A game opens the door to stranger interaction. By the time parents realise they need to have a more serious conversation about online safety, their child may already have seen or experienced more than they know.

Why starting early matters

Earlier this year, I attended Fei Yue Community Services' Digital S.O.S. workshop, held in a primary school. It made the case for starting digital safety conversations early, before teenhood, while online habits are taking shape.

The workshop began with an icebreaker, where families were quizzed on online acronyms like JK for "just kidding," GG for "good game," and RN for "right now." It was a light activity but there was a takeaway for parents: Children are growing up in a digital world with its own language and habits. Parents may be watching from the outside, but children are the ones moving through this world every day.

Next, the session moved into the issues that many parents worry about: cyberbullying, online grooming, inappropriate content, online scams, and unhealthy cyber habits. Facilitators from Fei Yue Community Services spent time unpacking online harms with statistics and news examples, followed by short discussions, rather than rushing through the material.

What I appreciated most was the tone. The facilitators didn't go for scare tactics, and they didn't make parents feel foolish for not knowing every app or trend. The message was much more accessible: These are the situations children can run into, these are the warning signs, and these are the conversations families need to start having.

There are surprising dangers online

One example from the session brought this home very clearly. A parent shared that WhatsApp had turned out to be a hidden danger for her child, who had been exposed to inappropriate content through a large group chat. She found out because she had been monitoring the messages on her child's phone.

I thought that was a particularly useful example because many parents don't think of WhatsApp as a risky app. But group chats can expose children to explicit material, peer pressure, unkind behaviour, and conversations they're not ready to handle.

That, to me, is one of the strongest reasons to attend a workshop like this. It pushes parents to look again at the digital spaces their children are already in, instead of focusing only on the ones they assume will matter later. It also creates a safe space for us parents to learn from one another.

The goal: help our children make better choices

During the workshop, Fei Yue's facilitators emphasised this several times: Technology will keep changing, rules will have to change, and children often find ways around controls anyway. Instead of introducing more rules and controls, we need to guide our children to develop these internal filters: 

• judgement

• values

• self-control 

• the habit of pausing before responding or clicking

In other words, we should aim to help our children make better decisions when no one is supervising.

This feels especially important for parents of children aged seven to 12. At this age, children are still young enough to be guided closely, but they're also old enough to start forming habits that may stay with them for years. Leave these conversations too late, and parents might be left reacting after something has already happened. Start earlier, and there is a much better chance of building trust and sensible boundaries before the stakes get higher.

Why we should attend these workshops with our kids

Fei Yue prefers parent-child attendance for their workshops, and I can understand why. This isn't a talk for adults to sit through and then summarise learning points awkwardly at home. By attending together, parents and children hear the same examples and talk about the same issues, guided by a facilitator.

The workshop includes discussion activities and participants will receive a resource kit that includes a family digital plan, which makes it much easier for conversations to continue after the session ends.

It also covers what parents can actually do when something goes wrong. This includes talking calmly with children, helping them assess whether an interaction feels safe, blocking or reporting problematic content, and seeking help when needed.

This practical angle makes a big difference, because as parents, we don't need more lists of dangers. Instead, we now have a clear list of next steps, in case we ever need them.

This article was contributed by Evelyn Tan-Rogers, a mother of two who attended an earlier run of the Digital S.O.S. workshop. It is brought to you in partnership with Fei Yue Community Services.