I saw the advertisement shown on Channel 5 recently featuring the seven hours of non-stop year-end partying to celebrate 2013 hosted by Gurmit Singh and Joanne Peh, I wished they had one for kids like me. Maybe, I can organize the party and the tickets can be priced around $15 each. Children all over the country can purchase these tickets at all shops and the proceeds will go to me. I will be rich! But alas, this is only a dream. Here I am, back in reality doing reflection about the year that has passed by me so quickly. Looking back at 2012, I reminisce all the successes and failures I have experienced. Moving forward to 2013, all I can think about is that dreaded PSLE paper.
I do want to go to a good secondary school. My ultimate but yet distant goal for PSLE T-score is 250. Far-fetched? Especially since I do not have tuition but I am doing all I can. Together with my mom, I am planning a proper study routine and this time I must adhere strictly to it. I also want to try to have adequate time for other things like setting aside time for recreation and spending time with the family. The proverb, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy is so true. I am living proof of it.
My mom is my pillar of strength. She has identified my learning style that helps me learn better. In school, the teachers may explain concepts in one way and while everyone else seems to understand, I sometimes do not. I have tried asking questions when I am still uncertain about what was covered in class, however the teachers would just explain it again exactly the same way but only louder! Like that worked? Nevertheless in 2013, I would still try to ask more questions in class hoping that the teachers would explain stuff in another way for me to get it through my thick skull. Or else there is always mom as my backup. I am independent when it comes to completing assignments from school. It is often followed by my mom’s usual gentle reminder, “If you don’t understand, please ask.” Another favourite line of hers is, “Checking is very…?” I would end up finishing that sentence for her all the time, “… important!” However, I am always too lazy to do so resulting in bad grades. Every year, when I tell my mom that I would try to do well next year she would simply reply, “Actions speak louder than words, darling.” So I suppose this time I will just have to prove it.
Reflecting on 2012 was painful in parts. I have come to realize that my mom was right all along with regards to choosing the right friends. There have been many different groups of friends when I first transferred to this school. I felt that I needed to belong somewhere and very quickly I made the mistake of joining the popular girls in school. I later found out in a miserable way that they were actually wolves in sheep’s clothing. They made themselves out to be like a big gang with an influential and a very popular gang leader. Everywhere the gang went, the cronies would be following the obnoxious gang leader like she was the master. I used to be one of those cronies. Yes, I was that dumb. I found out too late that all the time they were pretending to be my friends, they spread lies and rumours about me to other schoolmates. It was too late to repair the situation. My blessing in disguise was that this was the time I realized who my true friends were. Three wonderful friends found out about the untruths spread all over the school and they came to me with pieces of useful advice and told me that I can always hang out with them anytime. So, while indeed I was popular back then, I am even more popular now but all for the wrong reasons. I failed my SA2 Mathematics Paper badly and for that I was demoted to one of the worst classes. This is the biggest regret I have experienced in my 11 years of life. I am determined to change for the better next year. Yes, I know. Actions speak louder than words.
As I was rewarding mom with a full body massage earlier today, I finally realized how important she is in my life and how I have taken her for granted all this time. While mom was in half a daze quipping, “I’m in heaven”, towards the end of the massage, I was no longer able to hold back the tears that was glistening in my eyes.
I whispered in her ear, “Thank you for everything, mom. I love you more than any words can say.” I broke down almost immediately after telling her that. In my heart, I knew that with mom by my side I can survive 2013 and PSLE with confidence.