Alright for parents to peek into child's personal things?

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Would you peek into your child's personal things to find out more about who he/she is mixing with outside?

yes
5
29%
no
6
35%
maybe
6
35%
 
Total votes : 17

Alright for parents to peek into child's personal things?

Postby markfch » Sun Apr 25, 2010 4:16 pm

One of my friends has this habit of peeking into his DS's stuff (diary, hp, personal notes etc) so as to find out what's happening with DS. His DS was 15 at the time. He was outfront with his DS on this as his rationale is that since DS is dependant on his support, therefore he has the right to view.

I would like to ask whether or not we should be doing the same thing? And at what age should we stop doing this? It's one of those things I would scream my head off :x if I catch my parents doing it to me, but whether or not I would do it to my own DS is a moot pt.

Your views pls.
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Postby Blobbi » Sun Apr 25, 2010 4:37 pm

Wah, this one is tough. Right off the cuff, I'd say no, i would never. But in the next millionth of a heartbeat, I have these what if thoughts. What if my son (at 15) has a gf and is, horrors, sleeping with her, etc etc. I would like to know so that I can counsel about safe sex etc etc.

Honestly, I'd probably go through his things but be sneaky about it. :imanangel:

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Postby mathsparks » Sun Apr 25, 2010 4:38 pm

ermm, blogs and facebooks are ok right? and with the kids' consent.

Of course, if the kid is already a teen, I as a mummy will respect their rights and TRY not to snoop if they disallow.

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Postby mathsparks » Sun Apr 25, 2010 4:46 pm

Blobbi wrote:
Honestly, I'd probably go through his things but be sneaky about it. :imanangel:

heehee blobbi, great minds think alike! we aint sneaky hor, we're just mummies v concerned w our kids, right? :wink:

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Postby Blobbi » Sun Apr 25, 2010 6:09 pm

mathsparks wrote:heehee blobbi, great minds think alike! we aint sneaky hor, we're just mummies v concerned w our kids, right? :wink:


:hi5:

To all the saintly mummies/parents, :imanangel: :imanangel: :imanangel:

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Postby tankee » Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:08 pm

Blobbi wrote:Wah, this one is tough. Right off the cuff, I'd say no, i would never. But in the next millionth of a heartbeat, I have these what if thoughts. What if my son (at 15) has a gf and is, horrors, sleeping with her, etc etc. I would like to know so that I can counsel about safe sex etc etc.

Honestly, I'd probably go through his things but be sneaky about it. :imanangel:



I would probably have spoken with my son before he turned 15 about sex, safe practise, moral, responsibility etc etc whether he has a gf or not

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Postby tankee » Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:10 pm

I have different view on the being sneaky part.

To me, trust is very important in any relationship. And once trust is lost, it would be very very difficult to earn back.

I voted NO.

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Postby Guest » Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:10 pm

I would not peep but would manage the relationship to the stage where she prefers me to be in the know of her everything until she becomes matured and responsible for herself. :celebrate:

I put "No" because I work hard at achieving the above constantly.
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Postby Funz » Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:59 pm

My kids are still young so I guess I don't have to contend with this privacy issue yet.

I do have the same thinking as Insider. If I do not sense or suspect anything is wrong, I will not go through their stuff. But if I do sense that something is not quite right and my kids are not forth coming about what is bothering them or what they have gotten themselves into, then a little sleuthing may be necessary.

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Postby skunk » Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:46 pm

Every human being, other than being a public being (someone else's son/daughter/spouse blah blah) is also a private being. I think it's very normal for every person to have some "secrets", whether it's benign, like having nasty thoughts about someone, or something really evil, like drugs, or a vibrator hidden somewhere. I think to expect otherwise, is to expect our children NOT to be human, but somewhat like a robot.

If we can change our mindset, to allow for some secrets, then there won't be any need to peep through their things. It's not pragmatic to wish for TOTAL open communication, even within a loving family, because the private person within us, will keep some thoughts secret.

If a parent manages to find "something", it's only because the child allows it to be found. Imagine if the secrets are all bottled up inside the child? Or if the secrets are kept outside the house instead? If a child chooses to keep secrets in a diary or something, within the house, at least i will be happy that deep inside his/her heart, the home is regarded as a safe haven.

Just like when i was growing up, i always had fantasies of bashing up my bro, imagine if i had written it down in a diary and it got found out? Relations could be permanently damaged, all because of a fleeting thought of an immature mind!

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