When DW asks 'Do I look fat in this dress' ......
My poll answer is (a).. be honest and tell the truth.
While honest may not require blatant "honesty"..
my hubs is one of those who will be too blatantly
honest. Yes, he will do the details.. which part
makes it distasteful.. which makes me look fat.. &
with him there wud never be a day when he'd say
"it's the dress.."... with him, it's NEVER the dress...
it's really you... yup... all you.
But i mean.. the truth will sting for a bit.. but then
eventually it's whether we wanna do anything abt
it or not.. but if i do look nice, compliments will ensue
without even me asking.
While honest may not require blatant "honesty"..
my hubs is one of those who will be too blatantly
honest. Yes, he will do the details.. which part
makes it distasteful.. which makes me look fat.. &
with him there wud never be a day when he'd say
"it's the dress.."... with him, it's NEVER the dress...
it's really you... yup... all you.
But i mean.. the truth will sting for a bit.. but then
eventually it's whether we wanna do anything abt
it or not.. but if i do look nice, compliments will ensue
without even me asking.
- autumnbronze
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Actually, I don't think why this is such an issue at all.
Honestly is the best policy right?? Being honest does not necessarily equate to having low EQ. Just get the tone and the choice of words right.
I get bouquets and eggs showered at me by DH when deemed fit. I value his honest inputs cuz he knows me best and wants the best for me, after all we've been married for many yrs now.
Yes it hurts and yes, sometimes I wish he can be a bit more tactful, and yes sometimes I do lash out at him out of reflex when he makes negative comments (after all, as women we tend to have expectations of how we want our man to answer). But in the end, when reality sinks in, I apologise because to me, nothing is worse than a relationship based on the premise that he has to walk on eggshells with regards to certain or all matters.
Just my 2 cents
Honestly is the best policy right?? Being honest does not necessarily equate to having low EQ. Just get the tone and the choice of words right.
I get bouquets and eggs showered at me by DH when deemed fit. I value his honest inputs cuz he knows me best and wants the best for me, after all we've been married for many yrs now.
Yes it hurts and yes, sometimes I wish he can be a bit more tactful, and yes sometimes I do lash out at him out of reflex when he makes negative comments (after all, as women we tend to have expectations of how we want our man to answer). But in the end, when reality sinks in, I apologise because to me, nothing is worse than a relationship based on the premise that he has to walk on eggshells with regards to certain or all matters.
Just my 2 cents
Last edited by autumnbronze on Sun May 23, 2010 8:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.
This one is easy to answer and will not end up antagonising her.markfch wrote:But ksi, what happens if dw then asks why this dress doesn't suit her? Then I'm in a spot againksi wrote:I don't ask such a question at all, it's a lose-lose question even for the very skinny ones. A person should know well enough if they have excess fats or not and even do not have, some women perpectually think they are fat because they are not in right proportion. So it is silly to get people to endorse it and put the people in a spot.
Better to ask, "Does this dress suit me?"
The answer will be " Yes very well" or
"No, why don't you try something else?"
So instead of trying to be creative in your answer, perhaps you should guide your dw to change the way the question is being asked.
"The design just does not look right."
"The style is just not right." are some possible answers.
autumnbronze & buds,
Even though your arguments sound valid & logical, my survival instinct warns me to use the time tested strategy of being clever. The next time it happens, I'll lift up my shirt to expose my bloated belly and shout: 'Fat? Don't talk to me about being fat, woman' and then most probably my dw will roll on the floor laughing at my fat belly.
Even though your arguments sound valid & logical, my survival instinct warns me to use the time tested strategy of being clever. The next time it happens, I'll lift up my shirt to expose my bloated belly and shout: 'Fat? Don't talk to me about being fat, woman' and then most probably my dw will roll on the floor laughing at my fat belly.
- autumnbronze
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But of course, you know your wife bestmarkfch wrote:autumnbronze & buds,
Even though your arguments sound valid & logical, my survival instinct warns me to use the time tested strategy of being clever. The next time it happens, I'll lift up my shirt to expose my bloated belly and shout: 'Fat? Don't talk to me about being fat, woman' and then most probably my dw will roll on the floor laughing at my fat belly.
Btw, you've got a wacky sense of humour. Nice
So far I have not had the need to really ask DH such a question. Most of the time, I will change my outfits and DH will ask me why change. And I will say not comfy or look fat. And he will proceed to make a big show of feeling me up trying to check which part is fat. Then declare, you women are your own worst critique.
Then again, I know not to ask DH cos he prefers fleshy, plumpish women.
Then again, I know not to ask DH cos he prefers fleshy, plumpish women.
- ChiefKiasu
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Or.... ... you can also zip your pants down and say, "Whuh..? Fat?markfch wrote:autumnbronze & buds,
Even though your arguments sound valid & logical, my survival instinct warns me to use the time tested strategy of being clever. The next time it happens, I'll lift up my shirt to expose my bloated belly and shout: 'Fat? Don't talk to me about being fat, woman' and then most probably my dw will roll on the floor laughing at my fat belly.
"Who? Whur? Where? Lemme show you how delicious you look right now
tryin' on those dresses..."
Agree with autumnbronze. Honestly is the best policy.
If a woman can't handle the truth then they shouldn't
bother asking!
And plus, why would anyone want the men to lie how
great we look only to have them lookin' deliriously at
other babes, models, pin-ups, (etc)?
....... whether upfront or on the sly......
I mean like "Yeah hun, you look gorgeous in that, really!"
But yet, there the guy goes thinkin' up Ase Wang in that hawt
white bikini in this month's edition of FHM?