Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?

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Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?

Postby markfch » Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:23 pm

This world is made up of different types of people. Some parents will spare no effort to ensure that their kids are given a perceived headstart over others, for eg by registering in top sch, by enrichment and what not.

I also have friends who are very sure about themselves. This group of parents does not succumb to the frenzy of the rat race. They are really cool and collected during P1 registration. And a lot of the parents I know from this group were actually formerly from top sch themselves (but not pri level). They say that let nature take its course, whatever will be will be.

My qn for this post is this. If you belong to the latter group, do you feel unneccessary pressurized when your peers are telling you they're doing this and that for their kids, and you're not. How do you handle this situation?
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Postby verykiasu2010 » Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:49 pm

It is a state of the mind

No need to feel pressured. Just be widely informed, and know your options.

""This group of parents does not succumb to the frenzy of the rat race"" - because they ARE leading the rat race ?? lol

They can say whatever they want. There is no need to follow.

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Postby vicki » Sun Aug 01, 2010 12:30 am

I am the kancheong spider. Hb is the relaxed and calm turtle!!

So, hopefully we are a 'balance' for our kids!!

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Postby singmathstutor » Sun Aug 01, 2010 7:08 am

I believe it's important to know what's best for yourself and more importantly, your kid. Don't be influenced or affected by what others are doing for their kids. Everyone has their own ideals for them. Be it, to join an excellent school, numerous enrichment classes....etc. It doesn't have to be a "monkey see monkey do" scenario. Sometimes, over-pressurizing kids may have adverse effects. Just let them be well-paced in their development and remember, a good childhood will ensure they grow up well.

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Postby starlight1968sg » Sun Aug 01, 2010 8:53 am

If one were to say that he/she isn't influenced or affected by others, then he/she is lying.

When you see people's kids doing much better than yours, don't you have a sour feeling?

When you see your peers driving a big car, live in a big house, carry branded good etc, don't you feel that life is such unfair?

When you see lesser fortunate people, don't you feel relieved that your 4 limbs are healthy and you can walk & play?

...

We are all easily influenced by external factors. What makes a better person is to be able to control the negative influences and think positively in the long term.

Sigh... I am just feeling lousy that my junior has a higher chance for promotion! :x

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Re: Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?

Postby Brenda10 » Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:38 am

markfch wrote:I also have friends who are very sure about themselves. This group of parents does not succumb to the frenzy of the rat race. They are really cool and collected during P1 registration. And a lot of the parents I know from this group were actually formerly from top sch themselves (but not pri level). They say that let nature take its course, whatever will be will be.



It could be this group of people is hiding their cards or may be they believe in 路遥知马力。

Just my 2 cents thought :lol:

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Re: Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?

Postby mrswongtuition » Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:54 am

Brenda10 wrote:
markfch wrote:I also have friends who are very sure about themselves. This group of parents does not succumb to the frenzy of the rat race. They are really cool and collected during P1 registration. And a lot of the parents I know from this group were actually formerly from top sch themselves (but not pri level). They say that let nature take its course, whatever will be will be.



It could be this group of people is hiding their cards or may be they believe in 路遥知马力。

Just my 2 cents thought :lol:


Agree. Some of them may not want to share with you what they are sending their kids to and put up a 'carefree' attitude in front of you. Behind you, they are madly surfing KSP to dig more info about the schools you are sending your kids to and trying to find even better schools to send their kids.

But I know of another group who keep saying that enrichments are useless and there's no need for such rat races. In reality, they can't afford it. So they say there's no need for it :p

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Re: Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?

Postby markfch » Sun Aug 01, 2010 10:17 am

mrswongtuition wrote:Agree. Some of them may not want to share with you what they are sending their kids to and put up a 'carefree' attitude in front of you. Behind you, they are madly surfing KSP to dig more info about the schools you are sending your kids to and trying to find even better schools to send their kids.

But I know of another group who keep saying that enrichments are useless and there's no need for such rat races. In reality, they can't afford it. So they say there's no need for it :p


From my circle of friends, there are really parents who are doing well financially but still decided against going all out for their kids to achieve academic excellence. They say that the big fight will be at secondary level and by then, it's really up to the kids' own motivation. So their children really look happy and enjoying their childhood.
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Postby Gecko » Sun Aug 01, 2010 10:43 am

vicki wrote:I am the kancheong spider. Hb is the relaxed and calm turtle!!

So, hopefully we are a 'balance' for our kids!!


Vicki,

It is generally like that, hubby relaxed and wife kancheong. My wife hates it.

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Postby Leanne » Sun Aug 01, 2010 10:57 am

I have relatives and friends will tell me, let them be , anyway, i cannot get them to study.But, they are still trying to push the kids to work whenever they can.

I know not many parents will tell the truth how much they have been making their children to "run the race"

That is just one cent of my thought.

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