jtoh wrote:I agree with you about there being hypocrites among us and people misleading others with misinformation.PowerPuff Mum wrote:This is an interesting thread....I need to destress and get away frm the DSA thread! It makes me feel like doing this .. cos DSA can be so nerve wrecking.
Anyway, this is my 2 cts worth. I TRY not to be stressed by others but I think in reality it is hard. The Singapore system doesn't allow u to kick back and let the kids learn at their own pace. Like it or not, that's just the way it is.
I get frustrated sometimes cos I get tired of the rat race but at the same time I can't just let go and let the kids figure it out by themselves. The opportunity cost is very high cos our education system systematically weed out the weak ones and don't give the kids much leeway..it's almost like if u are not diligent enough to maintain yr exam results ..u end up in a weaker class and taught at a different pace/way which leads to a "perceived" not so favourable path.
I must clarify that I am not here to whinge..that's the system..we just hv to live with it. And if we care enough for the kids, we do our part to "help" them succeed academically as much as we can. What's a parent to do?
There are hypocrites amongst us who always say what they don't mean and do quite the opopsite of what they say. This is in partly due to the kiasu culture in our society. Nothing you can do about it cos it's already so enthrenched into the very fabric of our society. We just have to live with it.
I know of people who would even mislead u with information just so that you don't get a headstart..very ugly indeed.
At the end of the day, we do our best to impart the right values that they will carry with them the rest of their lives and support them in whatever they do. To me, it is about giving it their personal best. We are just facilitators to make sure they are on the right track. Now if you've done all that..CHILL! We, parents need a break too every one in a while.
This mother I knew went around telling everyone how wonderful a school Nanyang Girls High, that it was so much better than RGS, that her dd was going to apply DSA for Nanyang only... She went around telling everyone that, encouraging everyone to apply for Nanyang over RGS. Turns out her dd didn't apply for Nanyang at all. Her dd applied only for RGS. It was her plan to remove competiton from RGS for her dd. Of course she overestimated her ability to influence the decisions of others.
She tried the same ploy again in selecting a Third Language. She went around telling everyone that it was VERY difficult to get into Japanese and if your child wanted to do a third language, it was better to opt for German. Never mind if the child was interested in German or not. It was just prestigious to do a third language. So she went around telling everyone not to apply for Japanese. Of course her dd, Isabella, applied for Japanese.
Sigh! What's wrong with these people? And do they think that other people can't see what they're doing?
Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?
Hope we are not knowing the same mum cos the girl shares the same name .
Yes, exactly.sleepy wrote:jtoh wrote:It was her plan to remove competiton from RGS for her dd. Of course she overestimated her ability to influence the decisions of others.
Sigh! What's wrong with these people? And do they think that other people can't see what they're doing?
She's an insecured mum who doesn't believe in her dd having 真材实料
I think it is quite naive of her to think that competition can be removed by her own single efforts alone? unless she has amazingly big network, even then, she will get a bad sorethroat from talking so much....jtoh wrote:Yes, exactly.sleepy wrote:jtoh wrote:It was her plan to remove competiton from RGS for her dd. Of course she overestimated her ability to influence the decisions of others.
Sigh! What's wrong with these people? And do they think that other people can't see what they're doing?
She's an insecured mum who doesn't believe in her dd having 真材实料
PPmum, your post sent a chill down my spine. So sorry to hear that you've met crazy people who'd go so far. Yah I've met them too, although these days I have a radar and am wiser at avoiding!!PowerPuff Mum wrote:This is an interesting thread....I need to destress and get away frm the DSA thread! It makes me feel like doing this .. cos DSA can be so nerve wrecking.
Anyway, this is my 2 cts worth. I TRY not to be stressed by others but I think in reality it is hard. The Singapore system doesn't allow u to kick back and let the kids learn at their own pace. Like it or not, that's just the way it is.
I get frustrated sometimes cos I get tired of the rat race but at the same time I can't just let go and let the kids figure it out by themselves. The opportunity cost is very high cos our education system systematically weed out the weak ones and don't give the kids much leeway..it's almost like if u are not diligent enough to maintain yr exam results ..u end up in a weaker class and taught at a different pace/way which leads to a "perceived" not so favourable path.
I must clarify that I am not here to whinge..that's the system..we just hv to live with it. And if we care enough for the kids, we do our part to "help" them succeed academically as much as we can. What's a parent to do?
There are hypocrites amongst us who always say what they don't mean and do quite the opopsite of what they say. This is in partly due to the kiasu culture in our society. Nothing you can do about it cos it's already so enthrenched into the very fabric of our society. We just have to live with it.
I know of people who would even mislead u with information just so that you don't get a headstart..very ugly indeed.
At the end of the day, we do our best to impart the right values that they will carry with them the rest of their lives and support them in whatever they do. To me, it is about giving it their personal best. We are just facilitators to make sure they are on the right track. Now if you've done all that..CHILL! We, parents need a break too every one in a while.
Whatever it is, it's also good to find people you can trust and hang out with. I have the greatest respect for some of my friends who are genuinely concerned about the emotional well being of their kids as well as being very aware of the system. The important thing, I'm beginning to feel, is to strike a partnership with your child and work towards defined goals, however high you both set them. I probably sound like I want my cake and eat it too (actually never understood that statement!), but I can't help thinking that's what life should be about. If it doesn't work out, keep refining your goals/plans. Like you say, we can't leave our kids to swim/sink because the stakes are so high; but we have to bear in mind that we're only the facilitators.
- autumnbronze
- Councillor
- Posts: 11719
- Joined: Mon Jul 13,
- Total Likes:63
PowerPuff Mum ....PowerPuff Mum wrote:I was a careerwoman busy building my career before and have a travelling job until 5 years ago when I became a WAHM. I didn't spend enough time in Singapore to find out what are the best school etc..I thought all primary schools should be the same, right?
When it was time to register my son for primary school, I had a shock of my life when I get so many misleading information abt schools and came face to face with the ugly Singaporean syndrome where ppl purposely give you wrong information to mislead you.
Anyway, to keep a long story short..I put my son in a primary school nearest to my house and it turned out very well. I have no regrets whatsoever. The school environment is so vibrant and the principal is so hands on and very approacheable.
This is what I learned..
1. Never let anybody tell you tt your neighbourhood school is not good enough.
2. If you want to volunteer or give time to yr school..give it sincerely and unconditionally, don't expect anything in return..
3. You reap what you sow..don't expect the school to raise yr child.that's not their job!
4. You work with the school and not against the school if u want anything to be done and hv a positive outcome. Talk. Negotiate but never accuse and be defensive.
5. Love yr child in whatever form they come in.
6. Strike a balance..that applies in everything we do.
You can 't change the world we live in but we can change and adapt ourselves. Easy to say I know..it's never that easy.
Yes, easy to say and its never that easy, but we gotta try .....
-
- KiasuGrandMaster
- Posts: 11678
- Joined: Mon Jan 04,
- Total Likes:4
power puff mum (grown up from PPG) can still do wonders in Townsville ..... lolautumnbronze wrote:PowerPuff Mum ....PowerPuff Mum wrote:I was a careerwoman busy building my career before and have a travelling job until 5 years ago when I became a WAHM. I didn't spend enough time in Singapore to find out what are the best school etc..I thought all primary schools should be the same, right?
When it was time to register my son for primary school, I had a shock of my life when I get so many misleading information abt schools and came face to face with the ugly Singaporean syndrome where ppl purposely give you wrong information to mislead you.
Anyway, to keep a long story short..I put my son in a primary school nearest to my house and it turned out very well. I have no regrets whatsoever. The school environment is so vibrant and the principal is so hands on and very approacheable.
This is what I learned..
1. Never let anybody tell you tt your neighbourhood school is not good enough.
2. If you want to volunteer or give time to yr school..give it sincerely and unconditionally, don't expect anything in return..
3. You reap what you sow..don't expect the school to raise yr child.that's not their job!
4. You work with the school and not against the school if u want anything to be done and hv a positive outcome. Talk. Negotiate but never accuse and be defensive.
5. Love yr child in whatever form they come in.
6. Strike a balance..that applies in everything we do.
You can 't change the world we live in but we can change and adapt ourselves. Easy to say I know..it's never that easy.
Yes, easy to say and its never that easy, but we gotta try .....
always wary of people who try so hard to "advise" you......
yalor yalor. In PSLE, our kids are not competing with our neighbours. Our kids are competing at the national level. Further down the road at 'O'/'A' or Uni, they'll be competing globally (once all the overseas scholars comes in).ksi wrote:I think it is quite naive of her to think that competition can be removed by her own single efforts alone? unless she has amazingly big network, even then, she will get a bad sorethroat from talking so much....jtoh wrote:Yes, exactly.sleepy wrote:
She's an insecured mum who doesn't believe in her dd having 真材实料
If parents can have this mindset, then they won't need to be so kiasu towards personal friends.
Agreedmarkfch wrote: yalor yalor. In PSLE, our kids are not competing with our neighbours. Our kids are competing at the national level. Further down the road at 'O'/'A' or Uni, they'll be competing globally (once all the overseas scholars comes in).
If parents can have this mindset, then they won't need to be so kiasu towards personal friends.
I told my dd PSLE is the most important exam in primary school and then 多嘴 mentioned that PSLE scholars are usually from which top schools. She promptly asked me what's her school ranking across the nation (er.... ) and why didn't I enrol her in any of those top schools in Singapore
Quickly tell her now that the top PSLE scorer was from a neighbourhood school last year.sleepy wrote:Agreedmarkfch wrote: yalor yalor. In PSLE, our kids are not competing with our neighbours. Our kids are competing at the national level. Further down the road at 'O'/'A' or Uni, they'll be competing globally (once all the overseas scholars comes in).
If parents can have this mindset, then they won't need to be so kiasu towards personal friends.
I told my dd PSLE is the most important exam in primary school and then 多嘴 mentioned that PSLE scholars are usually from which top schools. She promptly asked me what's her school ranking across the nation (er.... ) and why didn't I enrol her in any of those top schools in Singapore