Share your experience of first time meeting PILs

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Share your experience of first time meeting PILs

Postby markfch » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:09 pm

duriz wrote:
MMM wrote:
markfch wrote: [Choosing DIL is more impt than choosing pri sch you know.


:lol: My hubby was the only son but even then I felt that I went through a "rigorous" process. Fil looked and scrutinised me from head to toe for the 1st few time we meet. He literally sit facing me and look at me from head to toe :!: Thought I can only see that in the drama.

Told my only son that next time, daddy will also do that to his potential girlfriends. :wink:


This reminds me of the first time DH brought me home to meet his parents. When DH went to get me a drink and left me alone with PILs: MIL asked do I cook (yes); do I like to clean (yes); do I love children (yes).

When DH was driving me home, he asked me what we talked about. I told him his Mom was interviewing for a maid :faint:


Interesting topic of discussion here. All came about because I wanted to matchmake ds with buds's dd2. I remember the first time I met my PILs. They were mainly chinese speaking type and with my half-past-six chinese, I couldn't make sense of half the things my FIL was telling me. I just did the next best thing. Nodding my head vigorously everytime I think a qn is being asked.

Thanks to ds, my chinese has improved by leaps and bounds (cos must teach him mah). And I can understand every single word that FIL is telling me now :lol: What about your experience? Generalizing a bit here, but I can imagine that meeting rich PILs can be a very stressful experience.
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Postby Jennifer » Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:27 pm

All the posts r so funny.

Mine was pointing to the fact that I might be making a mistake :oops:

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Postby markfch » Sun Aug 15, 2010 1:04 pm

Now that the stress of p1 registration is over for most parents, can we proceed to more trivial discussions, just to de-stress (not distress :lol: ).

Want to share first time meeting PILs experience? Anything comical happened? Come on, one of life's impt lessons is to be able to laugh at ourselves :wink:
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Postby sleepy » Sun Aug 15, 2010 7:34 pm

Mine was a non-event. First meeting was at dh's house. We had dinner, dh's parents asked about my parents, brothers, their age, occupations. Overall, they seemed pretty satisfied. We bamboo door to bamboo door, compatible background :scratchhead:

Anyway, during dating stage, I hardly visited dh's house. Probably a few times a year such as dumpling festival, autumn festival, etc. My mum said a girl cannot 'park' at boyfriend's house so I obeyed to the core :wink:

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Postby schweppes » Sun Aug 15, 2010 9:13 pm

Flew all the way to Penang to meet future MIL. She and SIL came to the airport to pick us up and we headed to some kopitiam to eat Penang laksa and hokkien mee (their equivalent to our prawn mee).

At the dinner table, I noticed her scrutinising me whilst I was pouring drinks for everyone. I was so conscious of myself and overwhelmed with the attention that I ended up over-pouring the coke and it overflowed onto the table. :oops: :oops:

She probably thought that I was such a klutz... actually i still am :| :roll:

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Postby Funz » Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:56 am

My first meeting with my ILs was kinda impromtu. We were meeting some friends after dinner and DH needed to grab something from home and decided to take the chance to intro me to his parents. Well I guess, my ILs were caught unaware as well. But the reception was cold and the whole incident super awkward.

When DH stepped into the house and introduced me to his parents, FIL nodded and continued with whatever he was doing. MIL served tea, to FIL and DH but not me. So I just sat there and waited while DH grabbed whatever he needed. MIL pulled DH to the kitchen and both were talking in low tones, then suddenly DH said lets go. And I said bye to PILs, which got an 'ok bye' from FIL but MIL continued to just whisper to DH like I was invisible. She did not even look at me.

That set the tone of my relationship with my MIL.

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Postby markfch » Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:35 pm

Funz wrote:When DH stepped into the house and introduced me to his parents, FIL nodded and continued with whatever he was doing. MIL served tea, to FIL and DH but not me. So I just sat there and waited while DH grabbed whatever he needed. MIL pulled DH to the kitchen and both were talking in low tones, then suddenly DH said lets go. And I said bye to PILs, which got an 'ok bye' from FIL but MIL continued to just whisper to DH like I was invisible. She did not even look at me.

That set the tone of my relationship with my MIL.


That's bad. Very bad. How could your MIL server tea to FIL & DH but not to you? That was the first time you met her, so how could she even have the opportunity to build up any prejudice against you? To ignore someone's existence has got to be one of the rudest things to do :P. So sorry to hear this.
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Postby Funz » Mon Aug 16, 2010 1:59 pm

markfch wrote:
Funz wrote:When DH stepped into the house and introduced me to his parents, FIL nodded and continued with whatever he was doing. MIL served tea, to FIL and DH but not me. So I just sat there and waited while DH grabbed whatever he needed. MIL pulled DH to the kitchen and both were talking in low tones, then suddenly DH said lets go. And I said bye to PILs, which got an 'ok bye' from FIL but MIL continued to just whisper to DH like I was invisible. She did not even look at me.

That set the tone of my relationship with my MIL.


That's bad. Very bad. How could your MIL server tea to FIL & DH but not to you? That was the first time you met her, so how could she even have the opportunity to build up any prejudice against you? To ignore someone's existence has got to be one of the rudest things to do :P. So sorry to hear this.


Haha. That was so many years ago. And it did not only happen during the 1st visit, subsequent visits were similar to the 1st. Luckily DH does not like to go home much either once we had our own place. I have learned to accept that that's how it will be between MIL and myself. Actually till 2day, MIL will still talk to everyone around me including my maid but not to me. Until today she keeps telling everyone around her that she is intimidated by me.

Things are cordial between us. I will do my part as a DIL, including letting her stay with us when she is not well. But our relationship will never be close. Anyway, way I see it, better she be intimidated by me (if that is true) then me being intimidated by her.

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Postby MMM » Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:33 pm

For the fun of it, thought it might be interesting to share my dh's 1st visit to my parents.

I was in another relationship with a man 12 years my senior, whom I had applied HDB with at that time. It took a long time to get HDB during that era :shock: . I was only 21 then. Dh was my colleague whom I was trying to match make with the single & available ladies in the office. For some reason (err.... fate :? ), we ended up liking each other. It was his 2nd job and fresh out of uni and we were young.

So I was trying to tell the other guy nicely that I would like to break off since I don't want to be caught in those "stepping on 2 boat" situation. He treated me well and the "last thing" I want to do is to "hurt him".

Mum is aware of the happenings and have been silently supportive of whatever I do. She never "complain" about my bfs. She just accept them. My 1st bf came to our place alot. It was only after we broke off that she felt that whew.... luckily she is not her son in law. The 2nd was ok but she felt 12 yrs seems abit old but again she kept it to herself. Her belief is that encourage the kid to bring friends home so that she know what kind of friends I mix around with. This is her strategy.

For 1st outing, he brought my parents to Swensens for dinner. He was rather "slim"? then which he boast of. Waist around 29 inch. Mum commented that ok decent guy but the finger looked very thin. Everything about him just looked "small". But now... he is no longer "slim" and the finger though didn't expand rapidly seems alittle fatter now. I suppose it's always easier for mil to "review" their son in law. Looking at dh now, mum would say... wow he is really very man now with his build. Cannot imagine how "thin" his fingers used to look like... Well.... his waist increase by 1 inch each year since we met. Oops.. we've been married by 11 years but his weight stabilise after awhile. Not 40inch now :wink:

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Postby Sun_2010 » Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:44 pm

Funz wrote:
markfch wrote:
Funz wrote:When DH stepped into the house and introduced me to his parents, FIL nodded and continued with whatever he was doing. MIL served tea, to FIL and DH but not me. So I just sat there and waited while DH grabbed whatever he needed. MIL pulled DH to the kitchen and both were talking in low tones, then suddenly DH said lets go. And I said bye to PILs, which got an 'ok bye' from FIL but MIL continued to just whisper to DH like I was invisible. She did not even look at me.

That set the tone of my relationship with my MIL.


That's bad. Very bad. How could your MIL server tea to FIL & DH but not to you? That was the first time you met her, so how could she even have the opportunity to build up any prejudice against you? To ignore someone's existence has got to be one of the rudest things to do :P. So sorry to hear this.


Haha. That was so many years ago. And it did not only happen during the 1st visit, subsequent visits were similar to the 1st. Luckily DH does not like to go home much either once we had our own place. I have learned to accept that that's how it will be between MIL and myself. Actually till 2day, MIL will still talk to everyone around me including my maid but not to me. Until today she keeps telling everyone around her that she is intimidated by me.

Things are cordial between us. I will do my part as a DIL, including letting her stay with us when she is not well. But our relationship will never be close. Anyway, way I see it, better she be intimidated by me (if that is true) then me being intimidated by her.


Oh oh1 that must have been hard to stomach

But :salute: ur attitude. Acceptance is not ease yet u do it.

My MIL extracts revenge the other way around, she load my plate and when i protest , she says finish it, anyway there is excess food and it will be left over otherwise
Am I the eco friendly dustbin??? Sigh! :stupid:

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