If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?

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If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?

Postby winth » Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:02 pm

My husband and I were not entirely closed to the option of having a third child. If we have a third child, we are considering it for the year of tiger or rabbit. The age gap between are 2 boys is 4 years, 5 and 18 months respectively.

I'm on birth control and we are still discussing this issue of having a 3rd child or not before christmas this year, as it is another 3-6 months wait before my hormones get tuned back to normal from the IUD.

I just hit 30 this year. Am quite confused now as having another child is a lifetime commitment (finance, more time to children, worries etc etc) but I do not want to wait till when I'm past my productive stage that I regret later for not having another baby.

Why did you decide to have/not have a 3rd child?

winth
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Re: If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?

Postby jedamum » Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:36 pm

hey, congratulate youself first for having 2 kids before the age of 30! 8)
are you trying for a 3rd child in the hope of getting a girl, or that you just love a bigger family? if it is the latter, i guess the issue on finance and time is secondary.

i have 2 boys with age gap of 4. had decided not to have a 3rd kid although no 'drastic/irreversible' action has been taken yet. at the moment, my elder boy is resenting ideas of having additional siblings as he knows that with another sibling, my time will be further divided.

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Postby winth » Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:52 pm

Hi Jedamum,

Various reasons why we are considering:
- Actually, this is my last chance of having another child as I went through C-section twice. So gynae said my next one has to be compulsory C-section and will not have option of even having 4th or 5th.
- If it was a girl, would be good, a change. But having 3 boys would be fun since I have more male hormones than female.
- Fortune-telling formed part of the reason.
- Some friends (who have 3 children) told us that commitment level will not increase whether you have 2 or 3 kids, drastic change comes only when you increase from 1 to 2. But dunno if this is true.

my elder boy is resenting ideas of having additional siblings as he knows that with another sibling, my time will be further divided.

Good point! Maybe I should ask my 5 year old since I suspect there is sibling rivalry between my boys.

winth
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Postby jedamum » Tue Nov 11, 2008 11:47 pm

winth wrote:- Fortune-telling formed part of the reason.

:? hm...it's good that your fortune teller is pro-baby.
once outside my boy's enrichment center, i heard 2 parents having a conversation that goes something like this...
Parent A : So...so & so is not intending to have a 3rd kid?
Parent B : Ya...their fortune teller said that if they had a 3rd kid, the kid's going to have a tough life.

:? with the parents already believing in this 'forecast' (i dunno what's the correct term), that fortune teller's sayings have already impacted the way the kid's life is going to be even before he/she is being conceived.

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Postby winth » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:11 am

that fortune teller's sayings have already impacted the way the kid's life is going to be even before he/she is being conceived.


:lol: I get what you mean.
Lucky for me, she just said I'll have a 3rd child. Didn't tell me how it'll all turn out. But I got all excited when she told me.

Asked my boy yesterday about another brother or sister. He said he'll love only brothers, not the latter... :?

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Re: If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?

Postby tanlengleng » Sat Jan 31, 2009 2:34 am

Our DD is 19mths older than our DS,
Our #2 is 2.5years older than our #3 son.

My take is,
if we want to have kids, take the bitter step, bite the bullet, once a for all...
Pop all out & let them be friends more than siblings.

We won't want to press our "restart" button after our elder ones are much older.

Decide now to have #3 or not. :)

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Postby hmsg » Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:15 am

when younger, hesitate due to $ constraint... now think can afford... but think physically n mentally weak... furthermore age gap between kids get wider n wider....

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Postby tanlengleng » Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:56 pm

hmsg wrote:when younger, hesitate due to $ constraint... now think can afford... but think physically n mentally weak... furthermore age gap between kids get wider n wider....


*nod nod*
I spoke to my friends of over 40years old,
most of them will want to have 1 or 2 more kids if they can turn back the clock... :(

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Postby Karpi » Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:34 am

Every kid addition to a family is definitely a blessing.

If could financially, why not?

I will not hesitate even the 5th, which my wife yearn for it. :D

Karpi
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Postby sashimi » Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:52 am

I envy you lot, can talk about a 3rd child. I only have the single precious one.

I know for a fact I will regret it if I don't have another.

Plus this stupid random world of ours.... It's not that I'm broke or poor; it's just that there is simply no assurance that our children can have a decent life in this world. It's all I can do to keep this single one safe and happy. :(

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