Faithful maid leaving, should I let my kids know?

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Faithful maid leaving, should I let my kids know?

Postby mamamiya » Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:53 pm

Hi parents,
My maid of 5 years will be leaving us next year. She was here since my boy was born. My 2 children (5 and 2 years old) are very close to her and she treated them well too. I am not sure if I should let the children know of her intention to go back home. For them, she's like a family member who is there all their lives. Perhaps, they think that she will continue to be there for them.

Haiz...any parents with such experience and how do you deal with that? Thanks.

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Re: Faithful maid leaving, should I let my kids know?

Postby janet88 » Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:36 am

mamamiya wrote:Hi parents,
My maid of 5 years will be leaving us next year. She was here since my boy was born. My 2 children (5 and 2 years old) are very close to her and she treated them well too. I am not sure if I should let the children know of her intention to go back home. For them, she's like a family member who is there all their lives. Perhaps, they think that she will continue to be there for them.

Haiz...any parents with such experience and how do you deal with that? Thanks.


My first and the (best of the lot) maid left after 1 1/2 years. However, I didn't let kids know in advance. No point doing so...and make the kids insecure. In fact when we fetched her to the airport, I didn't want my younger gal (closest to maid) see her leave but in the end, I was the one who couldn't bear to turn my head. :cry: :cry: She hugged me and said 'thank you mam'. That alone made me cry even more bcos she appreciated.

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Postby verykiasu2010 » Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:38 am

5 years and is the same maid the kids know all their life - is a looooong time ..... I think you should start by saying that the maid is not a permanent member of the family and there will be a time when she needs to go back to her own family. starting to prepare them mentally so that the transition for the kids will be easier, and will be easier to accept a new maid too

then they will also learn to accept that maids will come and go

please don't shock the kids' emo especially when they are so young
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Postby hquek » Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:50 am

er, it depends on the situation. My first maid was with us for 5 years - she started when my eldest was days old. But all along, she didn't take care of them (bathe, feed etc not done by her). All along, we told the kids that one day she has to go home to get married etc.

So when the time came, my kids treated the goodbye as just that. They had fun running around at the airport. No drama - unless it's in the minds of adults.

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Postby mintcc » Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:51 am

agree with verykiasu2010, my last maid who was with us for 2 years left when DS is about 3+ and he keep asking where is my old ka ka when the new maid came.

When we go on holidays, he will say he miss his ka ka. I think if my current one go he will be very sad. Do prepare them in advance, explain to them why she needs to go home and let them say proper goodbye.
Last edited by mintcc on Wed Oct 06, 2010 6:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby verykiasu2010 » Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:52 am

I guess in 'mamamiya's case the kids would be quite attached
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Postby janet88 » Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:52 am

hquek wrote:er, it depends on the situation. My first maid was with us for 5 years - she started when my eldest was days old. But all along, she didn't take care of them (bathe, feed etc not done by her). All along, we told the kids that one day she has to go home to get married etc.

So when the time came, my kids treated the goodbye as just that. They had fun running around at the airport. No drama - unless it's in the minds of adults.


No need to drama actually...but my first maid was really caring and thoughtful...yours truly rather emotional. My son was just 5+ when she left. But he can still remember her as the most hardworking maid who never gives problems.

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Postby mamamiya » Tue Oct 05, 2010 11:22 am

Thanks all for your advice. Yes, my 2 kids are very much attached to this maid. She was the one who bathes and sleeps with them most of the time. I guess I need to slowly introduce the idea that auntie is going home and a new auntie will come. I was toying with the idea of not letting them know but I guess that's worse. It's better to prepare them first and say proper goodbye. The thought of that makes me feel sad already...

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Postby mummyjoyce » Tue Oct 05, 2010 11:28 am

my 1st maid (the best) left after 6 yrs with me. I told my kids in advance explaining to them and also teaching them at the same times.
Will not be so dramatic and if the maid is good; you can also plan for 1-2 weeks earlier for the new maid to arrive at home for training by the old maid.

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Postby hquek » Tue Oct 05, 2010 11:28 am

No worries lah. Just explain to them that kaka needs to go back to marry and have kids/take care of her kids who are missing her very much. In time, the parting may be sad but they will bounce back.

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