Boy leapt to his death over CCA

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Boy leapt to his death over CCA

Postby raysusan » Thu Nov 27, 2008 12:07 pm

A 15-YEAR-OLD jumped from the 11th-floor bedroom window of his home - in front of his mother - after a disagreement with his parents over his intention to switch his co-curricular activity (CCA) in school.

Tan Wen Yi had wanted to switch from track-and-field to drama but his parents were against it.

Up till then, no one would have thought Wen Yi as a troubled or even self-destructive sort. The Secondary 3 student of Anglo-Chinese School (Independent) was described as cheerful and was well-liked by his classmates and respectful towards his teachers, the Coroner's Court heard yesterday.


http://news.asiaone.com/News/the%2BStra ... 03692.html

sad new
sometimes it is good to listen to our kid more often

raysusan
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Postby sally » Thu Nov 27, 2008 3:01 pm

I was shock this morning when my boy told me about the news. Its truth to me & my hubby we alway listen to what my boy said and if we disagreed with any cca or anything he wants we will explain to him why. To us this seem to work very well in our family and we alway listen to his view and respect his ideal.

sally

sally
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Postby onhindsight » Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:43 pm

Actually, my heart goes to the family.
We do not know the actually details and is no longer important.

I only know that teenage years can be very confusing.
Is a cross-road between adult and kid.
Underneath that surface, we normally can find the little kid. Above seems to show otherwise.

I have a friend who confessed during his wedding that he was very rebellious during his teenage days and seek his mother forgiveness

Calling all parents, pls hang on. :shock:

onhindsight
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Postby tanzyjac » Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:31 am

I can imagine how this mother has to go through - the trauma of seeing his boy leaping out of the window.

I watched the 'Life Transformers' on Ch8 on Monday night. This Chinese variety show was hosted by Christopher Lee and Quan Yifeng. In this episode, the hosts and volunteers were trying to clean up an old uncle Lai's 3rm flat. He and his wife have 5 children, of these 2 committed suicide at different times years ago. Because the siblings were very close, the surving ones were either mentally ill or mentally disturbed by the double tragedies. -- Sad

To those who are troubled - they think that suicide is an end to all their problems... But it is a start of their immediate surving family sorrows.

I was a very rebellious daughter. I am the eldest. I was used to my father's canings (each time I tried to hide the cane, he will use belt). Almost the whole block knew when I was being caned, cos the canings always came in the late eveing - for not washing the dishes after dinner (I was around 12yo). We were living in those one room rented flats during those days (early 1980s) so a slightest sound can travel very fast and upwards..

Each time I was caned, I would use blanket to create a mock-up tomb. I had a cardbox with my name written on it to placed in front of my 'tomb'. Then I hid underneath the blanket and cried quietly for at least 30mins wondering why life is so unfair (Hmm.. my father favoured my younger sister and brothers, they didn't seem to get the canings)

Anyway, I wanted to commit suicide then but had no courage to jump down (I even went up to the highest floor of our block). I tried to run away from home but had no pocket money. I wanted to use a cutter to slash my wrist, too, I was scared of pain and blood... End up, I used a small sharp scissors to cut a cross on my left hand (I am a right handed).

I had been painting the scarriest part of death to my 6yo daughter - about the darkness, no kins, no friends, no toys, no TVs in the other world. I know I have to change my script when she moves into her teens age.

tanzyjac
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Postby tamarind » Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:47 am

tanzyjac wrote:To those who are troubled - they think that suicide is an end to all their problems... But it is a start of their immediate surving family sorrows.


That is exactly what the person who committed suicide aimed to achieve : to cause pain to his parents. He wanted his parents to be in sorrow forever.

Many parents think that they own their children, so they can do anything to them, and their children will not hate them. The fact is that, even very young children know how to hate their parents, for example, when they are being caned frequently. Children cannot do anything, because they are dependent on their parents. The only way to "take revenge", is to die.

As parents, we must always remember that once the baby leaves the mommy's body, he is an individual. He is entitled to choose the way he wants to live his own life. We can only advise our kids, and explain to them the consequences of their choices.

tamarind
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Postby csc » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:31 am

When such things happen, I suspect there is a breakdown in the relationship between the child and the parents.

Perhaps the parents have been too controlling or oppressive.
Perhaps the child has already been given too much freedom and has come to believe he has more rights than he should.
Perhaps there is an outside influence coming from school, friends, books, TV, or music, etc.
Perhaps the child has a personal gripe against the parents that has never been resolved (bitterness).
Perhaps the child has never really learned to respect the parents in the first place.
Perhaps the parents haven't treated the child with due respect.

Parents MUST settle all conflicts with children COMPLETELY, and as soon as possible.Otherwise, soon, parents not only would lose the children's loyalty, but the children would also have acquired replacements for parents such as friends that they look up to, who probably do not share the parents' values and beliefs.

If you’ve been an angry and unreasonable parent, stop, and apologize to your child.

Humble yourself, admit your failings to your teen, ask his forgiveness, and then start being the parent you ought to have been all along.

Insist on compliance with reasonable rules, but spend the vast majority of your time living a life-style of mentoring, teaching, instilling values and loving your child.

Adapted from Raising Godly Tomatoes

csc
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Re:

Postby kiddo » Tue Mar 13, 2012 1:45 pm

tanzyjac wrote:I had been painting the scarriest part of death to my 6yo daughter - about the darkness, no kins, no friends, no toys, no TVs in the other world. I know I have to change my script when she moves into her teens age.


tanzjac - your past will make you very resilient and strong :hi5: ,
Your daughter have you , a loving mother that understand
how teens think :snuggles: :hugs:

kiddo
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Re: Boy leapt to his death over CCA

Postby Canvas » Tue Mar 13, 2012 2:13 pm

This is so sad. I feel that a 15yo should be old enough to make his/her own decision about what CCA to join. Then again, we do not know the full story. The parents must be devastated.

About 15 years ago, I witnessed a 6yo boy leaped off the parapet after he was accused of bullying his sister by his parents. The loud thud was unmistakable and I still remember the sound of heavy breathing and crying of the parents as they ran down the stairs. It was very sad.

Canvas
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Re: Boy leapt to his death over CCA

Postby justlatte » Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:35 pm

whatever it is, must stay alive for yourself and parents.

justlatte
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Re: Boy leapt to his death over CCA

Postby concern2 » Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:49 pm

This news is dated way back to Nov 2007. For a moment, I thought it was recent. :sweat: Guess it is a good reminder to every parent that our kids are individual beings, and there is more to them than meets the eye.

concern2
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