Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth?

General comments and chit-chat, or tell us how we can improve KiasuParents.com

Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth?

Postby The Little Cheng Mommy » Thu Nov 18, 2010 5:52 pm

Dear KS parents, would really love to hear your views on 2 issues.

I'm a preggy who will be due early next year. My 2 year old son is currently in a Montessori half day childcare (so school is not very important, just for socializing with other toddlers).

1. Do you pull your older toddler out temporary from pre-school after you gave birth?
Reason: Husband wants to withdraw DS once the new baby arrives as he fears that the older child will carry diseases from school and spread to the newborn. He is a healthcare worker and he says that should a newborn get admitted into hospital, especially within the 1st month, it'll be a very detrimental experience (NICU, doing all sorts of invasive tests & scans etc). He says it's not worth the risk as there's no added advantage for my older son to continue school due to his young age. He can go back school a few months later.

However, today, the school teachers advised me that by pulling my son out from school, it's going to be very hard for him to 're-start' school again, as he'll feel 'unwanted' and will affect his 'emotional development'. I'm currently sitting on the fence, so should I let him stop or not to stop schooling?

2. Do you let the older toddler stay with you during '做月' or do you let him stay with grandparents so that you can have more rest?

The Little Cheng Mommy
GreenBelt
GreenBelt
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:47 pm
Total Likes: 1


Re: Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth?

Postby janet88 » Thu Nov 18, 2010 6:10 pm

The Little Cheng Mommy wrote:Dear KS parents, would really love to hear your views on 2 issues.

I'm a preggy who will be due early next year. My 2 year old son is currently in a Montessori half day childcare (so school is not very important, just for socializing with other toddlers).

1. Do you pull your older toddler out temporary from pre-school after you gave birth?

However, today, the school teachers advised me that by pulling my son out from school, it's going to be very hard for him to 're-start' school again, as he'll feel 'unwanted' and will affect his 'emotional development'. I'm currently sitting on the fence, so should I let him stop or not to stop schooling?

2. Do you let the older toddler stay with you during '做月' or do you let him stay with grandparents so that you can have more rest?


My son continued to go to school after daughter was born...Daughter was on full breast milk and would have immunity from it. In fact, I gave my son Milo and a little breast milk to boost his immunity and he didn't fall sick from the usual flu bug when school reopens.

I agree with what your son's teachers advised you...pulling him out from school to avoid spreading any diseases to the younger child will affect your son when he restarts school again.
Don't separate the kids during your confinement month or the older one will feel neglected and 'thrown aside'. It would be good to have the grandparents bring older child out and attend to him, in case he gets jealous.

janet88
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 33775
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:37 am
Total Likes: 111


Postby LOLMum » Thu Nov 18, 2010 8:21 pm

just curious, does it mean your kid will be kept at home all the time to minimise the risk of bring germs etc? as a healthcare worker, your dh should be the 1st to be banned from coming into contact with newborn then. :lol:


anyway, i do agree with your dh about the importance of keeping the newborn away from germs etc. it is lucky that your older kid is just 2 years old, a month or two break wont do him harm.

feeling 'unwanted' and will affect his 'emotional development', wow, so serious........... sorry but dont agree.

for both births, i make sure i stayed in hospital for a week so that i have sufficient rest and know that my baby is in the good hands of the nurses.

sleep as much as you could, eat well, dont get emotional easily and be happy.

:lol:

LOLMum
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:25 pm
Total Likes: 1


Postby carebear » Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:49 pm

Spreading of germs in the environment cannot be prevented but it can be minimized.
When your son comes back from school, ensure that he washes himself clean and change his clothes immediately.
And if he is sick, do not let him go near the baby.
Taking him out of school is disruptive.
You are not thinking of withdrawing your child or children, each time a newborn comes along........
Just my 2 cents worth.

carebear
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1034
Joined: Sat Nov 22, 2008 10:38 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby DesertWind » Sun Nov 21, 2010 7:16 pm

LOLMum wrote: for both births, i make sure i stayed in hospital for a week so that i have sufficient rest and know that my baby is in the good hands of the nurses.


Hi LOLMum,
Wah, can meh? I mean stay in hospital for one week? Thought they will chase you out if everything is OK after 3 days. Do you need any excuse or what reason you gave?
:celebrate:

DesertWind
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 2:24 pm
Total Likes: 1



Postby DesertWind » Sun Nov 21, 2010 7:23 pm

Hi LittleChengMummy,

For a start, do you notice that since your DS started the childcare, has he been falling sick more frequently? If so, your DH's concern may be valid because if the older kid is often sick, then it may affect the 2nd kid too. My own opinion is 2-plus years old is still very young really doesn't matter if you pull him out from school. But of course it will break the momentum a bit and during confinement, you will have to handle the elder child as well if he is whole day at home and may not get enough rest. For me, I tend to think that it will help if the elder child is away in school during the confinement but you will need to weigh the pros & cons plus your husband must also be supportive and agree.
All the best!
:wink:

DesertWind
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 2:24 pm
Total Likes: 1


Postby The Little Cheng Mommy » Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:19 am

Thank you all for your inputs! Really appreciate them.. BUT..

I think the father is very firm in his opinion to pull him out of school, especially we do intend to switch him to a more academic-base childcare center/kindergarten when he's older. So I guess my son will be staying home for the next few months-year. And I'm gonna miss the rare quiet 3 hours at home while he's away at school (sob).

As for confinement, it's been decided that my elder son will tag along with me to my parents' place where there's ample help and also, to keep my pathologist husband from 'bringing pathogens' to his 2 precious sons. :wink: haha.

Hmm. I didn't know that one can 'request' to extend hospital stay without valid reason as occupancy in labor ward is always high. When my 1st son was born, I stayed in hospital for a week as he was admitted to NICU & High Dependency Unit for half a month. It was a very stressful period for us and hopefully, I don't need to extend my hospital stay this time round. =)

The Little Cheng Mommy
GreenBelt
GreenBelt
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:47 pm
Total Likes: 1


Postby Zenga » Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:55 am

The Little Cheng Mommy wrote:Thank you all for your inputs! Really appreciate them.. BUT..

I think the father is very firm in his opinion to pull him out of school, especially we do intend to switch him to a more academic-base childcare center/kindergarten when he's older. So I guess my son will be staying home for the next few months-year. And I'm gonna miss the rare quiet 3 hours at home while he's away at school (sob).

As for confinement, it's been decided that my elder son will tag along with me to my parents' place where there's ample help and also, to keep my pathologist husband from 'bringing pathogens' to his 2 precious sons. :wink: haha.

Hmm. I didn't know that one can 'request' to extend hospital stay without valid reason as occupancy in labor ward is always high. When my 1st son was born, I stayed in hospital for a week as he was admitted to NICU & High Dependency Unit for half a month. It was a very stressful period for us and hopefully, I don't need to extend my hospital stay this time round. =)


I find it a bit over reacting here. My daughters are now 2 and 4 years old. When my 2nd daughter was born. My elder daughter still went to childcare and everyday she looks forward to see her "mei mei" But of course we made sure she had her shower before she can get near her. It is the same as father. We went to work and will contact germs. But most impt is to bath before we touch the baby. Of course every parent has their opinon about germs.

Zenga
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:01 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby BeautifulLife » Tue Nov 23, 2010 10:43 am

Hi The Little Cheng Mommy,

My elder ds was in N2 when my younger ds was born prematured. After 3 weeks in NICU, My younger ds was allowed to be discharged. Guess what? On that very day we brought the baby back, my elder ds contracted HFMD!!!
We confined elder ds in his room and the baby in the living room. It was the most stressful period.
Just to share.

BeautifulLife
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 7:36 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby The Little Cheng Mommy » Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:33 am

BeautifulLife, thank you for sharing. I can fully understand the stress and pain you and family had gone through. My son had a skull fracture (which led to bleeding in brain & required blood transfusion) and pneumonia when he popped out.

My husband's paranoid decision was also due to a recent incident whereby his colleague's schooling daughter contracted some bugs from CC, which in turn infected the 1 week old younger daughter. The baby was then warded into NICU for 2 weeks and subsequently HD. I know this is very rare, I think DH just doesn't want to take the potential risks.

Zenga, ya, i agree about the over reacting part too. Sigh. I also feel 'paisei' that I have to ask for opinions . :oops:

My mom refuses to come to my home for my confinement le, what to do? I can't leave my 1st son with paternal grandparents as he's already super jealous now about having a baby brother (always beat & push my tummy). So I have to tag the sons and helper to her home lor. You're so lucky to have an elder daughter who dotes on the 'mei mei'.

The Little Cheng Mommy
GreenBelt
GreenBelt
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:47 pm
Total Likes: 1


Next

Return to Recess Time