Do our children have to do what parents like them to do?

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Do our children have to do what parents like them to do?

Postby peterch » Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:54 am

Just my curiosity :D

I've been accompanying my DS for his Basketball Camp for the last 3 days.
Lots of things happened that make me and some of the parents there smiled.

Out of 19 children who join the camp, there were 3 kids who seem that they were not keen to do the camp.

First one kept crying when his mum asked him to join the crowd. He just wanted to sit at the bench and watched the others practicing.

2nd boy were holding on his thick book and were reading at times. He didn't bother what the coach asked him to do :D

3rd one was the worst case. He was totally reluctant to join the camp, until his mom herself teach her DS how to bounce the ball, pass the ball, so he was having his private camp with his mom at the court side.

I was thinking for a while. Sometimes parents often force the kids to do what they actually don't like to do, including myself :D , but maybe we have to really know what they really interested in so it will be fruitful for the kids' future. :celebrate:

Anyone wants to add, please feel free to do so :)

peterch
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Postby duriz » Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:18 am

My parents made my older brother and I take piano lessons.

We hated it then but now it's great to play at leisure.

DD is only 13 months young.

I'm unsure of just how ks I would be in her "enrichment pursuits" :oops:

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Postby foreverj » Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:27 am

interesting! i feel that many parents like to live their regrets/accomplishmts thru their kids. eg. i didn't get to learn piano when young so i pin my hopes on my dd, hoping she'll excel in piano. honestly, i can't say its right or wrong cos although the initial period may not be easy with the discipline and time and effort to go thru the learning, the fruit at the end is sweet cos she wil get to know how to play an instrument n may even be able to make a living out of it someday.

hence although i may be tempted to criticise the parents who forced their children to go for the camp, who is to say one of them wil not become a great basketball player one day?

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Postby sleepy » Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:54 am

I think it really depends on what is the pursuit.

My dd is withdrawn and very self conscious when she was younger. We packed her off to speech and drama classes which she absolutely detest. When other kids were performing, she would stand still like a pillar (as a silent protest) & refused to participate.

4 years down the road....She's still attending speech classes. We no longer have to coax her to attend. She asked to attend. Earlier this year, she even volunteered to give a presentation during her school assembly. We've indeed come a long way :lol:


On a separate activity - dancing. We figured out she detests dancing after spending 6 months in Chinese dance. She prefers more intellectual pursuit like xiangqi, weiqi & solving IQ puzzles. Ok, dancing is not critical, we let her be. At least we provided an opportunity for her to try out this activity. Accepted the fact not everyone is cut out to be dancing queen. :wink:

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Postby Funz » Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:55 am

Difficult to say. Sometimes, we won't know until they try right? As a parent, if my kid is very bookish, quiet and introvert, I may want to create more opportunities for him/her to participate in some outdoor stuff just to stir some interest. If after a few tries and they really show no interest or even dislike, then so be it. Cannot fault a parent for trying to steer the kid in what they deem is the right direction.

And like it or not, sometimes, parents just have to push their kids to take up stuff that they may not like cos it is a useful life skill.

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Postby peterch » Thu Nov 25, 2010 12:11 pm

I agree with the comments above, that's why sometimes I push my way in. But my purpose is to make them have 'easier things' in the future.

Let say in my DS case, he is fond of basketball, but he enjoys basketball for fun. So I pushed him more in terms of sending him to camps, get more skills that he could, and hopefully he could use this as a backup plan to enter Secondary School thru DSA.

Sometimes he feels he is being pushed too much but sometimes he feels blessed that I pushed him a lot as he could be in the school team. He has a pack of practice schedule throughout the year end holiday so he could not really enjoying this holiday, no overseas tour :D (means save $$$ for me :lol: )

Maybe they are just too young to understand at first but later they will fully understood.

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Postby jedamum » Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:05 pm

when we first started swimming lessons, my ds1 wanted to quit. he was scared and was shy (the coach was a bit loud). we pressed on and now although he can't swim fast, he can swim.

when ds1 told us that he find wushu boring and tiring, we stopped cos it was not crucial to learn martial arts and we see that he does not have the flair.

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Postby foreverj » Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:11 pm

jedamum wrote:when we first started swimming lessons, my ds1 wanted to quit. he was scared and was shy (the coach was a bit loud). we pressed on and now although he can't swim fast, he can swim.

when ds1 told us that he find wushu boring and tiring, we stopped cos it was not crucial to learn martial arts and we see that he does not have the flair.


i think swimming is a bit different. gotta learn to swim for basic survival.even primary schools may make it compulsory to know swimming. probably gotta decide when is the right age to start.

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Postby mambobb » Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:31 pm

May I know when is the right age for my DD to learn swimming? She is 3yo now and seem like she is quite keen.. => likes to play water lah.. sometimes she will tell me she wants to go swimming.

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Postby mrswongtuition » Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:23 pm

mambobb wrote:May I know when is the right age for my DD to learn swimming? She is 3yo now and seem like she is quite keen.. => likes to play water lah.. sometimes she will tell me she wants to go swimming.


There's no 'right age'. As long as your child is ready, go ahead.
My boy started formal swimming lessons at 2.5yo (not those infant/toddler swimming classes).

He's turning 4 in Jan and he can swim very well without float now.
In fact, his coach was telling me that I might want to consider long-term and think about competitive swimming for my boy.
You know how the coach get my boy to swim real fast?
"Finish 3 laps & you can go play at the waterslide" -> Then you will see my boy swim like a fish

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