Is this acceptable?

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Is this acceptable?

Postby YingYing » Sun Feb 27, 2011 3:38 pm

I deliberated for a while before deciding to post here to solicit opinions.
I am not sure how many people here are familiar with Airport Terminal 3 but I will share my experience here nonetheless.

I visited T3 yesterday afternoon with my 2 sons. We were near the very small children's playground (well, just 1 little tykes playhouse with a small slide in a small shop area) next to the restaurant, Dian Xiao Er ( a stone throw away from T3 Crystal Jade).

There were 4 other children already there. My sons decided to join in and altogether, the 6 of them were playing happily. I noticed the initial 4 kids took off their shoes & I quickly asked my sons to do the same. I did not know who started it (since we joined in at a later time) but I thought it sure was a good sign of social responsibility at a young tender age. Hence, I got my boys to comply with the group dynamics immediately; without hesitation and without question.

Our disappointment came when another family came with 2 boys, who took to the playhouse immediately, running up & down the playhouse & jumping around, without taking off their shoes (shoes; not crocs sandals).

Initially, I thought they might just be doing a "touch-&-go" (u know the usual kids-stuff, dash in & dash out kind) so I did nothing. But after a while, it became clear to me that they were there to stay; since the grandmother "parked" herself at the sideline, and uttered "ma-in; ma-in" (play play) & gestured at the grandsons to continue playing.

I then decided to approach the grandmother & politely asked if she could get her grandsons to take off their shoes, just like the rest of the children there. You cannot imagine my shock when she came on aggressively, asking me (almost to the point of shouting) to show her a signboard that stipulates the need for that! As I did not wear my glasses (hence I did not read the notice on the wall beforehand), I simply told her there's a signboard on the wall (I didn't read it as I took it upon my own civic-minded conscience to guide my children along). The grandmother stomped towards me after reading the signboard & said very loudly to my face "it said it is for the enjoyment of the children; it did not state my grandchildren must take off their shoes".

I was appalled with this total disregard for others; shocked that she exercised zero social responsibility of guiding her young charges and the ultimate heck-care attitude! I then told her "at the end of the day, it is all about civic-mindedness and about social grace & responsibility that we teach our young to maintain a proper standard of hygiene & respect for others when we share the facilities. Surely, you would want your grandchild to grow up being a civic-minded person; complete with social grace & responsibility". To which, she responded with a mere "thank you very much" & ignored my attempt to get her grandsons to comply with the group dynamics.

I told her "madam, please could you spare a thought for the other children & for the cleaners too...and it's the same rationale when you are at home, you also take off your shoes, right?" She again replied (with eyes looking away) "thank you very much, my home is fine but to me, this place is already dirty so no need" .....

I was terribly shocked by this utter disregard for the rest of the children! Besides hygiene, it was also for the safety of the other children that I chose to approach her. Just Imagine, her grandchildren were wearing shoes (full shoes not crocs) & when the children play, some lie down, some crawl while some run about, safety is compromised if any of her grandsons were to accidentally (or deliberately) step on some children's toes or fingers during the play. Would she have like it if some other children refuse to take off their shoes & had stepped on her grandson's fingers?

Honestly, I was quite riled by her obvious self-centredness and clearly upset that we have such dimwits out there who needs to be "guided with signboards", without which they will fail to see why there is a need to take off their shoes, without which they are unable to put harmony before self; much less comply with group dynamics. And don't even talk about social grace & responsibility!

Something has to be done for the benefit of the more socially-responsible people (& children) around.

Comments, please?

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Postby verykiasu2010 » Sun Feb 27, 2011 4:06 pm

in this world you will always find this kind of people lar.....

please don't be disturbed by it so long as no harm has come to you or your kids

go another place, i am not being passive here, just actively seeking my enjoyment here and won't let anyone come and destroy it

let her be shown publicly to be without manners lor !
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Postby ascklee » Sun Feb 27, 2011 5:05 pm

Unfortunately, these days, giving consideration to others is not a trait that is commonly seen anymore (not just here, it's not commonly seen *in many places*). Perhaps this is because "giving consideration" is not examinable! 8-)


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Postby YingYing » Sun Feb 27, 2011 10:01 pm

Thanks verykiasu2010.
I guess you are right to say "just go to another place" ... which i did... within 2 minutes, I packed my boys to the viewing gallery to watch the planes land/take off. I didn't want to continue talking to her coz there is no point trying to talk sense into people who only cared about themselves.

U know I can't help but got reminded there & then about a certain celebrity singer who hosted a birthday party at a condo & there were complaints about litter strewn into the condo pool & the toilet getting choked! (strictly no offence to anyone but the news just came to mind). Coz I remembered she uttered an "argh" before telling me sarcastically "thank u v much..." when I asked her to spare a thought for the cleaners.

Just to take this discussion further, I know it takes all sorts of people to make up this world... we have the rude, the polite, the inconsiderate & considerate...etc etc.. I can accept this ... but surely there is a certain protocol in a place with young children? Just like it is ok to swear occasionally but we don't usually want to use swear words in front of the young & impressionable.

Take for example, even though there is a tough fine of $500 to curb littering, I have accepted (though I do not condone) that our land will never be free of litter... so why get upset, right? I guess I can easily accept "society or environmental imperfections" without skipping a heartbeat. But, in a children's playground, in a children's environment, and in the spirit of "nurturing our next generation", I find it hard to believe that the adults do not bother about rubbing off positive qualities to the young; and even when approached, she still had the audacity to challenge people!

Since there is no signboard stating "please do not poo", does it mean her kids can pee & poo anywhere they like... just like what some had seen at vivocity water-play area ? Common sense prevail ... we really don't need signboards to tell us "do-s & don'ts"!

I shudder to think what type of society we would be in if more people shared the same mindset as her.

Sigh... I'm actually feeling better after sharing this episode. Thanks for listening verykiasu2010 & CKLee :)

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Postby ANobleNerd » Sun Feb 27, 2011 11:10 pm

Frankly, unless I see a clear sign for shoes removal, like at the McD's indoor playground in Kallang, I won't get my kids to remove their footwear.

To me, it's as much about hygiene as common sense.

There are kids who would remove their shoes to play at the outdoor playground in the housing estates because it enables them to run faster or get a better grip on the slides, but I don't like my kids to do so.

Likewise, at any play area in shopping centres. If there are no signs for shoes removal, it would mean that the equipment is meant for use with footwear. For my kids to remove theirs to play would mean that they pick up dirt from other users who had footwear on. That said, it's only common sense that they won't get to eat anything after a stint at any playground until they wash their hands. :wink:

Shoes removal isn't really about social responsibility as much as it is about comfort. Some cultures/families don't blink an eye if their kids walk around barefoot, but some families are taught not to remove their footwear unless necessary.

For my kids' safety, I practise the latter. I won't know if there are glass shards or staples or pins in those areas because it's not my home, and to me, it's better to be safe than sorry.

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Postby YingYing » Mon Feb 28, 2011 12:00 am

Hi ANobleNerd
I understand where you are coming from and am certainly with you on your point when it comes to outdoor play. .
I agree that especially when it comes to outdoor play, I will not get my children to remove footwear. This is also the apparent reason why I started the post with " I am not sure how many people here are familiar with Airport Terminal 3 "

It is actually a padded indoor play area (just like a mini version of Polliwogs & Gogo bambini ... except the padding is different). In all fairness, the playground is suitable for 18months - probably 4yo (at max, perhaps 5 yo); There were actually 2 young toddlers crawling in there (the little tykes playhouse) at that time we were there. I wanted to keep my initial post brief (ya i noticed it wasn't that brief afterall) hence I didn't put every detail in print. The toddlers' parents also quickly carried their toddlers & left the scene (really it would've been terrible for the toddlers if someone had stepped on their tiny fingers w rubber shoes)! Anyway, we all left shortly after they arrived.

As I frequent the Airport (I stay in the East) , I was pretty sure there used to be a "standing metal frame notice to advise footwear removal (like those metal frames u see in Sistic ticket counters or banks) but that was removed. As I understood, sometime last year a little boy actually ran into the notice (no he wasn't hurt, the metal frame just dropped - i learnt this from a fellow mum yest). I am not sure if that was the reason why they remove the standing signboard but I figured it could be the reason & had assumed they have decided to stick something on the wall instead (for children's safety); which was why I directed her to the wall initially. The same standing frame (asking for footwear to be removed) used to be spotted at the "children's tv lounge area" (near the colouring station at the basement) but I also noticed they had removed it (perhaps for the same reason) and the children in the padded tv lounge were also barefooted when we were there yesterday!

I guess my point is also about group dynamics. I mean, if u see everyone else enjoying the same facility with shoes removed & with a crawling toddler inside, would you still insist your child put on his shoes & enjoy with the rest ? I doubt so right? My hunch is... Maybe you will also get him to remove after surveying that the padding is quite clean or if you still feel uncomfortable, you may not let him join in if he has to take off his shoes.

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Postby kaka » Mon Feb 28, 2011 12:35 am

I share your frustations especially the response from the elderly, to me, it is more about the way she responded。
Lets not to let such incidence ruin your day, it is not worth it.

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Postby YingYing » Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:34 pm

kaka wrote:I share your frustations especially the response from the elderly, to me, it is more about the way she responded。
Lets not to let such incidence ruin your day, it is not worth it.

Thanks Kaka
Yes it's primarily the old lady's attitude that riled me. I have nothing against the children since kids will be kids...they are here for us to teach & to guide but if the adults are so self-centred & unreasonable & can't be bothered to teach, then i guess we can only wish them well... and move on :)

for the record, it didn't really ruin my day that much tho her attitude did rile me ... we proceeded to explorer kids (another indoor playground thingy in pasir ris) after the airport trip hehe... but i think it ruined her day..cos another grandma there "tsk tsk" her.... and the toddler's mum shook her head before carrying her child out. They all told me not to "waste my breath" with such unreasonable people but i told them i just have to coz these people will continue to "wei(2) suo(3) yu(4) wei (2) (do as they please)" thinking that nobody will "dare" tell them off!

Really thanks for your understanding. It helps to know there are people out there who understand the situation :)

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Postby kiddo » Tue Mar 01, 2011 1:11 pm

Ying ying,

If I were you I will tell her nicely and if she heed I am happy if not

I 'shrud off the comment: and carry on in the playground or elsewhere,
Civic consciousness start with us and to get another person to buy the
same thinking will take years or they may never ever. 8)

In a City state - very difficult to achieved but not impossible. :|

Take heart Ying - many good and civi minded people are still around
we just need to do our part. :celebrate:

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Hearing your plight

Postby lisadrome » Tue Mar 01, 2011 2:50 pm

Hi Ying,

I will not go to the issue of removing slippers and skip straight to civic-mindedness...

BTW I live in the East too- so yeah to that!

Anyway, I too wished that the elderly auntie was a bit more careful with the way she replied to you.

I was thinking maybe she had a bad day and at that point when you asked her she must have just been not thinking straight. Don't get me wrong I am not giving her an excuse but rather a benefit of doubt... my grandma turns real moody when she's pain and she tries to relieve herself with the worse kind of hurt that she can think of at times... but that does not mean my grandma is a bad person... she's in pain, she looked after me when I was young and when she could she cooked for me and family even if she knew she will be having pain later...

So sharing with you Rudyard Kipling quote taken frm:
http://url ... or-if.html

you can keep your head when all about you, Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings. And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings, And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew, To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you, Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute, With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it...


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