When do we stop making decision(s) for our kids?

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When do we stop making decision(s) for our kids?

Postby Daddy D » Mon Feb 28, 2011 1:49 pm

- Which Pri/Sec/JC sch/ UNI to go?
- Which scholarship to apply?
- What food/clothes to eat/wear?
- What CCA(s) to join?
- What time to come home after sch/play?
- What kind of friends to hangout with?
- What kind of job to apply?
- What kind of spouse to marry?
- What kind of house to buy?
- What kind of car to buy?

The list goes on....
Other than fearing the kid will make the wrong decision(s)... the fear is that parents will end up paying for it, or have to bail the kid out of it...

:celebrate:

Daddy D
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Postby LOLMum » Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:01 pm

when they put me in the small brown/black/white box and say their last goodbyes.

gosh, i might even appear in their dreams and say "hey, you choose the wrong colour for your wall, blue better." or "why is the soup so salty?" etc......

:lol:

LOLMum
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Postby MummyThreeStreams » Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:04 pm

LOLMum wrote:when they put me in the small brown/black/white box and say their last goodbyes.

gosh, i might even appear in their dreams and say "hey, you choose the wrong colour for your wall, blue better." or "why is the soup so salty?" etc......

:lol:


Haha! If you see the in-law's thread, you'll find many forummers complaining that their MILs making exactly those types of comments! (not in their dreams of course...).

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Postby buds » Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:11 pm

Based on the questions, i would say that i do not really think it is
of parent making decision thingy. It is more of parent "advising"
the children of the choices they make in life... guiding them to
hopefully make the right choices... and seeing/discussing some
scenarios thru our experienced eyes but not a table banging
kinda "I will decide for you!" kinda decision making, isn't it? :wink:

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Postby LOLMum » Mon Feb 28, 2011 3:02 pm

MummyThreeStreams wrote:
LOLMum wrote:when they put me in the small brown/black/white box and say their last goodbyes.

gosh, i might even appear in their dreams and say "hey, you choose the wrong colour for your wall, blue better." or "why is the soup so salty?" etc......

:lol:


Haha! If you see the in-law's thread, you'll find many forummers complaining that their MILs making exactly those types of comments! (not in their dreams of course...).


precisely.

though i doubt i will end up like one cos' both my parents and mil are pretty easy going and i am doing the same to dd and ds too. they decide and have to live with the choices they made.

LOLMum
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Postby Daddy D » Mon Feb 28, 2011 3:42 pm

buds wrote:Based on the questions, i would say that i do not really think it is
of parent making decision thingy. It is more of parent "advising"
the children of the choices they make in life... guiding them to
hopefully make the right choices... and seeing/discussing some
scenarios thru our experienced eyes but not a table banging
kinda "I will decide for you!" kinda decision making, isn't it? :wink:


It's whether we parents let the kids learn from some of their "bad or immature" decisions... or we parents do the "we eat salt more than you eat rice" advise/nagging...

but I think when we parents agree with the kids' decisions... it's cos' we don't have much choice...

e.g. if the kid graduates from elite UNI with lawyer/doc degree... but decides work in other field of jobs instead...

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Postby LOLMum » Mon Feb 28, 2011 4:29 pm

Daddy D wrote:
buds wrote:Based on the questions, i would say that i do not really think it is
of parent making decision thingy. It is more of parent "advising"
the children of the choices they make in life... guiding them to
hopefully make the right choices... and seeing/discussing some
scenarios thru our experienced eyes but not a table banging
kinda "I will decide for you!" kinda decision making, isn't it? :wink:


It's whether we parents let the kids learn from some of their "bad or immature" decisions... or we parents do the "we eat salt more than you eat rice" advise/nagging...

but I think when we parents agree with the kids' decisions... it's cos' we don't have much choice...

e.g. if the kid graduates from elite UNI with lawyer/doc degree... but decides work in other field of jobs instead...



well, 儿孙自有儿孙福, 管不了太多. 顺其自然吧.

我们能给的已经够了,供学教读完了, 路如何走是他们的事了

LOLMum
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Postby AceTutors123 » Wed Mar 02, 2011 4:09 pm

in my opinion its actually dependent on your child.
if you think he or she can make the right choices early and not anyhow guessing and trying their luck i guess you can safely say its okay to stop deciding for them.
when you do that, they will know that you trust them and will come back to ask your opinion and your opinions will hold more weight.

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Postby cotton candy » Thu Mar 03, 2011 11:20 am

Highly recommend parents to watch a Bolloywood movie called "3 Idiots". The movie is about parents always making decision for their child and never asked what they really want to do in their life...

This is the first Bollywood movie I have ever watched and I really love this movie! Throughout the show, I was moved to tears :cry: and burst into laughter :rotflmao: .

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Postby tankee » Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:24 pm

when DS is no longer my baby :D


and DS is forever my baby :oops: :wink: :cry:

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