Elder Care and Child Care

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Re: Elder Care and Child Care

Postby jedamum » Thu Feb 12, 2009 6:19 pm

insider wrote:Many parents have not much qualm when deciding on more expensive ccs for their kids but think it's not so when come to their parents' nursing homes...

Just that it hits hard on me that most parents are willing to provide the best for their kids but when come to parents, that's another story. Kind of sad...

yes, insider, i agree that it is sad.
i feel the same when some parents have time to chauffeur their kids around SG for various kinds of enrichment but the thought of bringing the kids to visit their grandparents, they said no time. :roll:
i also believe that there are a fare share of parents who claimed to be tight up to afford a reasonable allowance for their parents, but will choose instead to send their kids to playgroup/childcare (citing the same reasons of need for socialising) when their parents' only source of income could have come from babysitting their grandchildren.

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Re: Elder Care and Child Care

Postby ChiefKiasu » Thu Feb 12, 2009 10:03 pm

insider wrote:Read today's newspaper about people sending old aged parents to Johor nursing homes to save cost.

Am wondering what I would do if I have to decide whether to save my child's cc money or to save my aged old parents nursing home money...


It's very sad indeed. But what goes around comes around. Remember... our children are always watching us. How we treat our elders will determine how we will be treated in the future.

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Postby ChiefKiasu » Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:12 am

insider wrote:...Dear Mums and Dads out there, what is your choice?????


I'll choose the one with unlimited Internet access.

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Postby jedamum » Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:14 am

insider wrote:
Dear Mums and Dads out there, what is your choice?????

erm...can the mum said...
"we survived on single income so that a parent can be home to give quality care and upbringing when you are young. can you and your wife survive on a single income (or at least some one doing part time) so that one of you can be home to give me quality care?"

if the 'illness' does not really demand intensive care from nursing homes, perhaps it'll be a better option to employ a maid and install cctv at home at the same time - at least get to see the kids/grandkids everyday.

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Postby buds » Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:50 am

ChiefKiasu wrote:I'll choose the one with unlimited Internet access.


Wuahahahahaaaa!!!
You're ever so funny!
Tongue forever in cheek one, hah?
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Me aah?
Errrmmm...

"Ok son, since you're obviously going to be left out of my will...
I'll choose to stay at my posh retirement home i've invested so much in..
I've made advance preparations in my prime while pre-empting this
unfillial move from you which i prayed so hard you won't do."

"Now, since you know i won't forgive you EVER.... get ready to go to
the lowest place in hell... i'll get them to reserve you the basement.
Heard it boasts of a warm jacuzzi.. you'll love it there."

buds
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What goes around comes around...

Postby buds » Fri Feb 13, 2009 1:23 am

ChiefKiasu wrote:It's very sad indeed. But what goes around comes around. Remember... our children are always watching us. How we treat our elders will determine how we will be treated in the future.


I ditto that, Chief!

Based on my own experience,
I saw how my dad took care of
his mum and dad till their last days..

I helped care for my grandparents too.
Both sides. The works. Its not easy caring
for bedridden old folks. It can be daunting
but fulfilling, watching them happy till their
end of days. Life IS a cycle.

Now, caring for in-laws some more...
Waaayyy bigger challenges...
Own parents mostly no problem at average.
In laws are totally a different ball game..

But, the children are constantly watching and
asking questions, so who better than us parents
to model the best of conduct dealing with our
parents - our own or our spouse's... it doesn't
matter... the for better or for worse vows has
the inclusion of both sides parents, must read the
fine lines of the contract.... heehehe... :evil:

Hopefully, through our efforts (hubs & mine),
with the caring of both sides of our parents...
our two kiddies can feel through our hearts.
:pray:
(Fingers crossed)

buds
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Postby jenniferjoey » Fri Feb 13, 2009 1:37 am

Very Interesting Topic here,

Frankly speaking, as a representative of sandwiched Generation of supporting children and parents at the same time and having difficulties coping with all the neverending increasing expenses... Hey wake up lah, many years down the road, unless Government build as many nursing homes as schools in Singapore, we are not able to afford and reserve a nursing home at all. Everyone will be fighting for a bed there. Maybe we can migrate to a third world country and build our dreamland for retirement.

For instance, I prefer to have grandparents staying at home, looking after our children while we employ a maid so that both spouses can go out and work. This should be WIN-WIN situation, unless grandparents want freedom rather than spending time and passing down all their knowledge and wisdom to your grandchildren. They can rent out their house and keep the money as extra allowance while staying with us.

I have seen an old lady with seven children staying in hospital for few weeks, yet none of them came and visit her. When doctor needed them to come to hospital during office hours to sign documents for the old lady to start dialysis as her kidney was failing but none of her children can make it in time, all came after office hour... (Non of them wants to take the responsibilities and pay for the medical bills) The youngest daughter came in evening time, dressing very elegant holding a very branded bag...

It is really how our parents looked after their own parents, and give us deep impressions on the needs of looking after them as much as they did... so that our next generation will at least come and visit us when we admit in hospital when we are old..

Hope everything goes well with all grandparents, children and grandchildren and live in harmony.... :pray:

jenniferjoey
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Postby jedamum » Fri Feb 13, 2009 9:04 am

insider wrote:PS: I don't put all my money on my kids. I keep some for my own retirement... I foresee at least 1/3 of parents will be in nursing/retirement homes 20 to 30 years down the road when this new generation of kids grow up to have their own families... (btw, childcare and retirement homes to me are the best businesses for the next few decades...)

actually, with the increase in the construction of studio/rental apartments, sometimes it makes sense to gather all your aged siblings (who are not relying/living with their kids) and just live next to each other and then if need be, pool together the money to engage a health care provider/private home-visit doctor to visit once every fortnight/monthly. :D

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Postby schellen » Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:03 am

Well, I'm not living with either side's parents but it was a practical decision (lack of space, inaccessible unless got car, etc.). We're all okay with it. After all, my parents live close by and his parents can drive by on weekends and spoil my DD rotten to make up for the missed time. :wink:

I think my mom's dream retirement (she has actually retired) is for us to pack her and my dad of to a nice home in Oz. She likes the people, food, pace of life and climate there. She also has friends there. Too bad I don't have the cash to move her there. (My family wants to leave this place too.)

I have to thank my sis (who's still single and earns more than me) for taking care of my parents. I think if they really can move to Oz, she'd love to join them too.

As for sashimi's parents, our impression is that their nest egg is big enough that wherever they want to go, they have no problems paying for it themselves. So envious but to reach their level, I think very difficult cos they started planning early and they're rather thrifty.

schellen
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Postby luvmum » Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:55 am

insider wrote:My mum sown her own good seeds.

She let her seven children witnessed how she painstakingly taking care of her parents till their last breath. The cleaning of their sore backs, feeding of soft food, etc, when my grandparents were ill at different times.

The good fruit - seven filial children whom I believe will anytime wait on her when the need arises...

PS: My dad will 'benefit' from my mum's good deeds coz he will be 'accorded' same kind of treatment too...


It may not be so all the time. My own mum also takes care of both my grandmas till their last breath and it's never easy at her time, bathing, feeding and taking care of their daily needs, while still gotta work and look after 5 young children. I salute to her! Of course, I know deep down both my grandmas are happy tat they still stay on with their children and grandchildren instead of being 'bounced' ard when they are bedridden.

However now tat we are all grown up, not all 5 of us are able to appreciate what my mum did at tat time. At least I can't say for my eldest sisters who never failed to come up with excuses whenever it's their turn to bring mum for her regular checks or chip in for mum expenses.

Imagine telling us 'my child has CCA', 'we stay faraway', 'we are not working' as the lame excuses yet able to afford luxurious living. To think I still bring 2 of my kids along each time when it's my turn, stroller,big bags but that's mum is my responsibilities too.

Why are pple getting more self centered and forget about what parents have went through in the past? I really can't understand except shaking my head each time when we hear excuses time and again. :roll:

v sad to witness all these but they are facts of life... :oops:

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