Pursuing "affluence" delays marriage and having children??

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Re: 5.18M of population. Good or bad?

Postby verykiasu2010 » Sun Oct 09, 2011 11:36 pm

ksi wrote:
verykiasu2010 wrote:
peapot wrote:Actually I heard from the grapevine that LKY's target is 6million. So if true that means there should be more people coming in since our birth rate is so low.

it is only 800k people away ...... but the citizen population is not growing any faster .... that is the problem


It is really quite sad to know this as I have both relatives and friends all still pregnant in their 40s.... I really salute them....it is becoming quite common to hear them pregnant in their 40s....the most common lament I hear from them is when my kid is 10 years old I am in my 50s!!! This sounded like my grandma's time when she gave birth to her 8th child!!


the phenomenon of later-age parenthood is not just in singapore, it is more and more as every where the society gets more affluent
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Re: 5.18M of population. Good or bad?

Postby Guest » Mon Oct 10, 2011 6:53 am

Affluent? How about no time to hv kids earlier because have to slog first to gain such affluence? :lol:
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Re: 5.18M of population. Good or bad?

Postby verykiasu2010 » Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:48 am

ksi wrote:Affluent? How about no time to hv kids earlier because have to slog first to gain such affluence? :lol:


isn't it a personal choice to keep up with the attainment of such affluence ? and there could be some element of snobbery appeals too :-

if my friends have a car and a condo before getting married - I also wish to have the same, else no face, how to temporarily stay with parents? .... no privacy .... cannot start a family ......

if my friends hold the wedding celebration in Shangri-la Island Ballroom, how could mine be in lesser place - no face right ?

if my friends have a BMW, how could I only be driving a Kia ? and even more pressuring is that one must have a car to court the girl - cannot take bus / mrt / taxi when go dating......

if my friends go to Switzerland / France for a one month honey moon, how could I only go to HK for a week ? lost all face, man !

by the time any meaningful amount of savings is attained for the wedding bash and to set up a home ..... it would have taken years of hard work to get there ....

because everyone want to own a place before considering marriage and children, it does drive up the demand and prices of flats and apartments, it becomes a vicious cycle

one good thing though - people are very patient - they can wait :evil: :evil:
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Pursuing "affluence" delays marriage and having children??

Postby Guest » Mon Oct 10, 2011 12:18 pm

verykiasu2010 wrote:
ksi wrote:Affluent? How about no time to hv kids earlier because have to slog first to gain such affluence? :lol:


isn't it a personal choice to keep up with the attainment of such affluence ? and there could be some element of snobbery appeals too :-

if my friends have a car and a condo before getting married - I also wish to have the same, else no face, how to temporarily stay with parents? .... no privacy .... cannot start a family ......

if my friends hold the wedding celebration in Shangri-la Island Ballroom, how could mine be in lesser place - no face right ?

if my friends have a BMW, how could I only be driving a Kia ? and even more pressuring is that one must have a car to court the girl - cannot take bus / mrt / taxi when go dating......

if my friends go to Switzerland / France for a one month honey moon, how could I only go to HK for a week ? lost all face, man !

by the time any meaningful amount of savings is attained for the wedding bash and to set up a home ..... it would have taken years of hard work to get there ....

because everyone want to own a place before considering marriage and children, it does drive up the demand and prices of flats and apartments, it becomes a vicious cycle

one good thing though - people are very patient - they can wait :evil: :evil:


Uncle, everyone measures affluence differently. Yours is at snobbery level, some people's affluence is simply a more comfortable life than before. Different philosophy may not necessarily imply snobbery.

For example, this statement:
if my friends have a car and a condo before getting married - I also wish to have the same, else no face, how to temporarily stay with parents? .... no privacy .... cannot start a family ......

It is a matter of perspective. Personally for me, I would never embark on anything I cannot afford. If at the point of marriage, we cannot afford a place, I would not marry too. To me, a stable marriage requires a stable financial to sustain too. If staying with parents is to look after them, it is fine but if staying with parents is to depend on them.... then in my philosophy, we don't qualify for marriage. Luckily for me, I have no parents who can afford to help. :rotflmao: I would also not marry a guy who wants to stay with his parents because of this "unable to afford" reason..... The vision in holding on to such philosophy is to have a good marriage not about face. I cannot imagine the topic in marriage everyday is about $$$. :roll:


You cannot wait?? :evil: :evil:
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Re: Pursuing "affluence" delays marriage and having children

Postby david59 » Mon Oct 10, 2011 12:50 pm

Agree with ksi. Getting the first step right towards marriage is really really top priority. Different couples have their reasons to decide when their right time to marry is. It is not right for anyone to judge. Of course, of course, there will almost be a minority of couples who just refuse to get married no matter how their parents nag.
How many couples do really need such "face" to get married only when they can afford a condo, an expensively branded car n etc? This really happens to a tiny minority. For the majority of us, we do not have this "privilege" to be that snobbish. We will be so grateful if we just have enough ( subjective ) to get married.

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Re: Pursuing "affluence" delays marriage and having children

Postby verykiasu2010 » Mon Oct 10, 2011 1:03 pm

ksi wrote:
verykiasu2010 wrote:
ksi wrote:Affluent? How about no time to hv kids earlier because have to slog first to gain such affluence? :lol:


isn't it a personal choice to keep up with the attainment of such affluence ? and there could be some element of snobbery appeals too :-

if my friends have a car and a condo before getting married - I also wish to have the same, else no face, how to temporarily stay with parents? .... no privacy .... cannot start a family ......

if my friends hold the wedding celebration in Shangri-la Island Ballroom, how could mine be in lesser place - no face right ?

if my friends have a BMW, how could I only be driving a Kia ? and even more pressuring is that one must have a car to court the girl - cannot take bus / mrt / taxi when go dating......

if my friends go to Switzerland / France for a one month honey moon, how could I only go to HK for a week ? lost all face, man !

by the time any meaningful amount of savings is attained for the wedding bash and to set up a home ..... it would have taken years of hard work to get there ....

because everyone want to own a place before considering marriage and children, it does drive up the demand and prices of flats and apartments, it becomes a vicious cycle

one good thing though - people are very patient - they can wait :evil: :evil:


Uncle, everyone measures affluence differently. Yours is at snobbery level, some people's affluence is simply a more comfortable life than before. Different philosophy may not necessarily imply snobbery.

For example, this statement:
if my friends have a car and a condo before getting married - I also wish to have the same, else no face, how to temporarily stay with parents? .... no privacy .... cannot start a family ......

It is a matter of perspective. Personally for me, I would never embark on anything I cannot afford. If at the point of marriage, we cannot afford a place, I would not marry too. To me, a stable marriage requires a stable financial to sustain too. If staying with parents is to look after them, it is fine but if staying with parents is to depend on them.... then in my philosophy, we don't qualify for marriage. Luckily for me, I have no parents who can afford to help. :rotflmao: I would also not marry a guy who wants to stay with his parents because of this "unable to afford" reason..... The vision in holding on to such philosophy is to have a good marriage not about face. I cannot imagine the topic in marriage everyday is about $$$. :roll:


You cannot wait?? :evil: :evil:


ksi : you read out of context : i said temporarily = meaning you have the ability but due to HDB delay (and whatever that cause a longer wait than necessary .......)

these days people just like to jump to conclusion without reading properly
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Re: Pursuing "affluence" delays marriage and having children

Postby Guest » Mon Oct 10, 2011 2:29 pm

verykiasu2010 wrote:
ksi : you read out of context : i said temporarily = meaning you have the ability but due to HDB delay (and whatever that cause a longer wait than necessary .......)

these days people just like to jump to conclusion without reading properly


No lah vks2010, I read the word temporary but you also talk about condo.....which takes longer to save ma.......but still, it is not a face issue. Having the ability does not mean have to bother other people. For some people, temporary also means that they do not have the means first....and in the end can become permanent. :rotflmao:
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Re: Pursuing "affluence" delays marriage and having children

Postby verykiasu2010 » Mon Oct 10, 2011 2:35 pm

ksi wrote:
verykiasu2010 wrote:
ksi : you read out of context : i said temporarily = meaning you have the ability but due to HDB delay (and whatever that cause a longer wait than necessary .......)

these days people just like to jump to conclusion without reading properly


No lah vks2010, I read the word temporary but you also talk about condo.....which takes longer to save ma.......but still, it is not a face issue. Having the ability does not mean have to bother other people. For some people, temporary also means that they do not have the means first....and in the end can become permanent. :rotflmao:


walao, permanently temporary or temporarily permanent ? :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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Re: Pursuing "affluence" delays marriage and having children

Postby Guest » Mon Oct 10, 2011 2:44 pm

verykiasu2010 wrote:
ksi wrote:
verykiasu2010 wrote:
ksi : you read out of context : i said temporarily = meaning you have the ability but due to HDB delay (and whatever that cause a longer wait than necessary .......)

these days people just like to jump to conclusion without reading properly


No lah vks2010, I read the word temporary but you also talk about condo.....which takes longer to save ma.......but still, it is not a face issue. Having the ability does not mean have to bother other people. For some people, temporary also means that they do not have the means first....and in the end can become permanent. :rotflmao:


walao, permanently temporary or temporarily permanent ? :rotflmao: :rotflmao:


In fact there is a growing trend of a new species who like to park themselves with parents on a long term basis and remain single......that is another social problem. :wink:

But vks2010, if I apply science hor, the keyword here is "condo and car" not "temporary", hence the interpretation from me. You failing me for science ah? :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Re: Pursuing "affluence" delays marriage and having children

Postby verykiasu2010 » Mon Oct 10, 2011 2:48 pm

but you see, lots of youngsters spending hard earned $$ and future income on cars and holidays instead of saving $$ for the downpayment for that flat

the expenditure profile of youngsters these days are decidedly different from say 15 to 20 years ago
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