How to stop our kids from being 'rude'?

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How to stop our kids from being 'rude'?

Postby RRMummy » Mon Apr 13, 2009 1:00 pm

Hi all KSP,

Please share on how you touch this topic with your young child.

Last week we saw an old lady whom was less than 2-feet tall, so my gal couldn't help staring, and asking "Why like that?" I tried distracting her so that I could explain out of earshot. But that only made it worse coz my kid then pointed and ask again, thinking I did not hear her.

How do you effectively stop them from asking directly in front of the physically-challenged. "Why like that?"

The thing is I try to explain everytime we see a 'new' form of physically-challenge but whenever she sees 'something' new, curiosity seems to get the better of her..

TIA

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Re: How to stop our kids from being 'rude'?

Postby jedamum » Mon Apr 13, 2009 1:14 pm

actually it is really helpful if we can state in our profile which year our kids are born in (under the no. of kids info - check out how i did it) so that we need not scroll to the newbie page everytime we need understand how old the kid is before commenting... (community getting bigger, you see. :wink:)

so how old is your kid?

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Postby Guest » Mon Apr 13, 2009 1:15 pm

How old is your child?

If old enough to understand secret code, then maybe you can have a secret code with her? If she sees something interesting in a person especially in the physical aspect, do a hand signal to you like 3 fingers which looks like "W" as a question of "Why"?

Then you can signal back "ok" meaning...."I got you, will explain later."

Then you can adjorn somewhere to continue the dialogue.
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Postby sashimi » Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:20 pm

Well, I tend to be matter of fact.

If the disabled person is/was within earshot I'd apologize to him/her. Then I'd walk off, and later explain to my DD exactly the truth. Eg. old age, born with disability, accidents, etc. I try to engage her EQ, where possible.... and also explain that it is not nice to say out loud.

I don't really see this as "rude" by the way. It's a simple case of lack of awareness. Even we adults routinely demonstrate much "rudeness" due to lack of awareness, esp. with regards to religion, race, etc.

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Postby RRMummy » Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:22 pm

Hi jedamum, thanks for the reminder. My gals are K1 (4.5yo) and N1(3yo). Both equally 'curious' but K1 was the verbal one in this incident.

ks2me, will try the W trick.. hopefully she will remember..
Last edited by RRMummy on Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby RRMummy » Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:29 pm

Sashimi, I do explain the truth to her and has reminded her many times that it is not nice to say out loud. And I do apologize to the person..

I just need an effective way for her not to repeat it once she sees a 'new' situation by letting her curiosity get the better of her... thankfully, when she sees a 'previous' handicap which she is aware of she does not comment directly already, but may make some comments when we have left the scene...

haiz...

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Re: How to stop our kids from being 'rude'?

Postby ChiefKiasu » Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:16 pm

jedamum wrote:actually it is really helpful if we can state in our profile which year our kids are born in (under the no. of kids info - check out how i did it) so that we need not scroll to the newbie page everytime we need understand how old the kid is before commenting... (community getting bigger, you see. :wink:)...


Great suggestion, jedamum! We have included optional fields for parents to state the sex and birthdays of their children, plus a mandatory field for parents to provide a quick intro of themselves, so this will make it much easier for others to understand better the context of each poster's questions. All new registrants will have to fill this in, and I would strongly encourage our old birds to voluntarily go in and fill in that info too. The User Profile or Accounts Settings page will become more and more important as we introduce new social networking features to KiasuParents.com.

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Re: How to stop our kids from being 'rude'?

Postby Addoil » Mon Apr 13, 2009 5:11 pm

jedamum wrote:actually it is really helpful if we can state in our profile which year our kids are born in (under the no. of kids info - check out how i did it) so that we need not scroll to the newbie page everytime we need understand how old the kid is before commenting... (community getting bigger, you see. :wink:)

so how old is your kid?


:celebrate: Hurray, Jedamum, u voice out wha I am thinking! ya is really troublesome if we keep scroll to the newbie page or keep asking again and again...

Cfkiasu, thanks for doing this for us! :rahrah:

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Postby sashimi » Mon Apr 13, 2009 5:21 pm

RRMummy wrote:... thankfully, when she sees a 'previous' handicap which she is aware of she does not comment directly already, but may make some comments when we have left the scene...

haiz...


In this case, if you ask me, you're both totally on the right track! Don't worry too much. :) Education of this sort takes a bit of time, it won't happen overnight. That's why there's this phrase "growing awareness". :)

At age 4.5 a child is only really just beginning to understand the concept of inter-social spaces (eg, that other people have feelings and needs). If she's already capable of what you say above, I'd say by age 6 she will be conscious of saying the wrong thing - maybe even overly so. I think you needn't worry too much. :) Keep what you're doing, and play by ear from case to case, after some time, the "problem" should go away. :)

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Postby RRMummy » Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:14 am

Thank you for the assurance, sashimi. Sure hope to get out of these paiseh situation soon.. :pray:

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