Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

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Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby Angelight » Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:23 am

Below is an extract taken from a news article from CNA. Interesting comment from this Dr Tan that "the state of parenting in S'pore is heading south"...do you agree with him? Share your views, no 'right' or 'wrong'. :)


SINGAPORE: Parenting, according to Dr Tan Lai Yong, is a double—edged sword which can produce either the best scholars, or the worst crooks.

And the medical doctor, a plenary speaker on the second day of the inaugural Character and Citizenship Conference, thinks that the state of parenting in Singapore is heading south.

"Parenting skills are stagnating or even degenerating," said Dr Tan, who was featured on Channel NewsAsia as one of the Asians of the Year in 2009. At the conference, Dr Tan shot the audience this question: "What is the big deal about driving kids to school?"

Parents, he said, are not preparing their children well enough to survive in a challenging world. "This is a tough world. We want our children to grow up tough yet compassionate, and integrity is the way. Merely studying is not enough anymore."

Angelight
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Re: Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby dunnoleh » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:11 pm

gone south >>> like Australia/NZ.
tats why no more parenting skills left!
:rotflmao:

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Re: Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby carebear » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:30 pm

Dr Tan Lai Yong is the volunteer medical doctor who left for Yunnan in 1996, but made his way back to Singapore recently.

He spent most of his parenting years in the rural parts of China.
So maybe in comparison, that's why he thinks so?
Literally Singapore is south of China! :lol:

He should not make general statements.
Stagnating and degenerating..... based on what?
Driving kids to school is bonding time.
Of course when you don't have time to drive them, they should know how to make their way to school.
If you make time to drive your kids to school, they will remember your efforts in the future.

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Re: Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby Angelight » Mon Nov 14, 2011 12:12 pm

Mummy Carebear, you may be right that this doctor may have compared Sporean kids with those from the rural villages in Yunan. Definitely world's apart. Over there, education and healthcare is a luxury; here both education and healthcare are basics of life.

I think in comparison, Sporean kids seem more pampared and sheltered than those in rural China. But to say that the state of parenting here is "going south"...sounds like a sweeping statement, though I do agree that some (not all)parents really spoil their kids. JMHO.

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Re: Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby kiddo » Mon Nov 14, 2011 8:32 pm

Angelight wrote:Mummy Carebear, you may be right that this doctor may have compared Sporean kids with those from the rural villages in Yunan. Definitely world's apart. Over there, education and healthcare is a luxury; here both education and healthcare are basics of life.

I think in comparison, Sporean kids seem more pampared and sheltered than those in rural China. But to say that the state of parenting here is "going south"...sounds like a sweeping statement, though I do agree that some (not all)parents really spoil their kids. JMHO.


it get tougher to be a parent in SG as the years goes by ..... :hi5:
unless you dare to be different :snuggles:

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Re: Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby carebear » Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:40 pm

Actually I kinda pity his kids, especially the older one who is a teenager.
Brought up in rural parts of China, but now have to adapt to the fast pace of Singapore's education system.
It can be hard........

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Re: Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby Guest » Tue Nov 15, 2011 12:20 am

Just offering an alternative view....

On the contrary I believe children brought up in harsher and less-than-ideal environment will adapt faster. It has been proven time and again many China-born children who are less fortunate in China have come to Singapore, work hard, especially on a language which is zero to them and become heroes eventually. So I believe their hardship training has built in strong immunization in them in learning how to handle pressures.... Fast-pace education in SG? A piece of cake for them, they study even more subjects in greater depth in China but we think we are world-class. :oops: We are probably more world-class because we use the English medium, hence more international. This is said not to discredit ourselves because as a very tiny dot on the map, we are indeed outstanding for our size in many ways and education is one of them but we have to look at things in perspective.

So is our parenting skills heading south?
No, because when you are in Rome, you have to do what Romans do to keep up with the rigorous demands of the education system. No, because when we are so tied down to the "assets" that we own and have to toil day and night to pay for them, driving kids to school is indeed a luxury to bond with them in the car which he overlooks. There is no one single activity or event that can singly suggests that parenting skills is heading southwards. It has to be process-driven...he has to question some of the processes we are doing with our children. Hence his remarks may appear weak though he may have made some sense to the problem statement.

Yes, because we succumb to the pressures of wanting everything and compromising on important things like inculcating values. Yes, because at times we fail to seize EVERY opportunity to deliver a learning lesson to our children but often point them to look at others' weaknesses and attack the weaknesses due to a competitive environment.
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Re: Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby carebear » Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:39 am

Hi ksi, you are right about kids from China and excelling in their studies. However, does this apply to those who come from the cities? Those who have been trained and grilled academically in their home country?
What about those from the rural parts of China?
Has anyone come across these group?

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Re: Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby peapot » Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:57 am

I agree with angelight. Some parents really spoil their kids. Talk rudely to adults, use bad words, self centered. Their parents did not even bat an eyelid. I think culture plays an important part in parenting. If we make comparison between 2 countries then every factor must be held constant inorder to make a fair judgement. But in reality nothing is constant nor the same.

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Re: Parenting skill in S'pore is heading south?

Postby pinky » Tue Nov 15, 2011 9:24 am

kinda of :offtopic: but yesterday's wanbao headline reported on some parents who engaged strip tease shows for their sons/daughters' 21st birthday party celebration. :yikes:

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