Multiple Kids

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Multiple Kids

Postby ysy » Thu Apr 23, 2009 10:36 am

Dear fellow moms,

How do you cope with multiple kids and a busy career? I have 2 boys, age 4 and 5 and is now expectating my third one (a girl), due in a month's time. Though I like kids and look forward to having more, I wonder how I can cope with so many of them and still have a fulfilling career. I have read about people with 5 children and yet still able to have an exciting career, a fulfilling family life and time for frindship and personal development. Sometimes, I wonder this is really true or they are just trying to project the 'perfect' and 'ideal' image to make all of us envy.

ysy
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Re: Multiple Kids

Postby jedamum » Thu Apr 23, 2009 10:41 am

hi ysy,
here are some sharings from the working parents.

to have a fulfilling career and selfmotivated kids largely depends on having a worklife balance career, a supportive family network (of grandparent caregivers, understanding husband etc), a lot of hardwork and understanding kids too. i think having a strong and stable mentality as a parent helps too, and also not be a perfectionist.
i dont think i can juggle all...

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Postby ysy » Thu Apr 23, 2009 10:53 am

Hi jedamum,

Dun think I can juggle all that too. I must say that I am a perfectionist. Although MIL is looking after my kids, I want to have full influence over how they grow and develop. To put it frankly, I want to be regarded as the most important person in their life. Guess I am being too hard on myself. Am considering taking no pay leave to stay home for a year or two to take care of my kids personally but am held back cos hubby's pay not stable, so its quite a risk.

ysy
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Postby jedamum » Thu Apr 23, 2009 10:57 am

ysy wrote:I must say that I am a perfectionist. .

Yes...'perfectionist' is a dirty word.
i am one too. my boss can't understand why i don't send my boy to childcare or engage a maid.
of course he also can't understand why my husband is MCP and my ILs support him fully in keeping me at home :roll:

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Postby buds » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:00 am

ysy wrote:Hi jedamum, I must say that I am a perfectionist. Although MIL is looking after my kids, I want to have full influence over how they grow and develop. To put it frankly, I want to be regarded as the most important person in their life. Guess I am being too hard on myself. so its quite a risk.


I truly know this feeling, ysy...
You are not too hard on yourself.
It's a true mother's feeling...
You're not alone.

Only difference is, it's my blessing
that i get to nip the bud by taking
care of them myself... tks to hubs.

Hang in there, ya. :wink:

buds
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Postby buds » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:02 am

ysy wrote:I must say that I am a perfectionist. .


jedamum wrote:Yes...'perfectionist' is a dirty word.
I am one too. my boss can't understand why i don't send my boy to childcare or engage a maid. Of course he also can't understand why my husband is MCP and my ILs support him fully in keeping me at home :roll:


Hey, thats what my boss said too. :roll:

buds
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Postby schellen » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:06 am

jedamum wrote:
ysy wrote:I must say that I am a perfectionist. .

Yes...'perfectionist' is a dirty word.
i am one too. my boss can't understand why i don't send my boy to childcare or engage a maid.
of course he also can't understand why my husband is MCP and my ILs support him fully in keeping me at home :roll:


It's not that your husband is MCP lah, jedamum. It's just that your boss doesn't understand the headstart your kids have over their peers when you stay home to take care of them yourself.

I firmly believe that my DD is independent and capable, and has little problem with formal education now because I took care of her myself in her first 4-5 years.

ysy, like you, I think it is impossible to have 5 kids and juggle work at the same time. I also want a big say in how my DD grows up and the only other person who has equal say is my DH. Everyone else must take a queue number.

In this society, only if you are financially well-off and/or your DH has a big and stable income, will you be able to be a full-time mother who can concentrate fully on raising her kids and giving them the best (not just materially), without having to worry about things like whether there will be enough money for education, etc.

schellen
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Postby schellen » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:10 am

buds wrote:
ysy wrote:I must say that I am a perfectionist. .


jedamum wrote:Yes...'perfectionist' is a dirty word.
I am one too. my boss can't understand why i don't send my boy to childcare or engage a maid. Of course he also can't understand why my husband is MCP and my ILs support him fully in keeping me at home :roll:


Hey, thats what my boss said too. :roll:


I think my ex-boss wanted to say that too but I implied that my DH is MCP, (even though he isn't at all) and voila! my boss had no choice but to let me go. Even DH told me to give others the impression if all other excuses fail and those poor souls don't understand the overwhelming number of advantages of taking care of your child yourself.

schellen
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Re: Multiple Kids

Postby csc » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:31 am

ysy wrote:Dear fellow moms,

How do you cope with multiple kids and a busy career? I have 2 boys, age 4 and 5 and is now expectating my third one (a girl), due in a month's time. Though I like kids and look forward to having more, I wonder how I can cope with so many of them and still have a fulfilling career. I have read about people with 5 children and yet still able to have an exciting career, a fulfilling family life and time for frindship and personal development. Sometimes, I wonder this is really true or they are just trying to project the 'perfect' and 'ideal' image to make all of us envy.


I think those who can do that must be a "super woman" who is most likely her own boss , very rich, can employ "good-quality' amahs to take care of children, employ highly qualified tutors for the kids, can come back to have lunch with her children (cos she owns the company mah).

In this imperfect world with imperfect souls, it is tough to have the best of both worlds. I've decided I want to invest in the world that will last and hopefully leave a legacy behind!

Life is short! (think Stanley Rich)Time flies! Our kids will grow up in no time... like mine ! Might be too late to salvage the loss then!

csc
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Postby jedamum » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:56 am

schellen wrote:It's not that your husband is MCP lah, jedamum. It's just that your boss doesn't understand the headstart your kids have over their peers when you stay home to take care of them yourself.

My husband confessed that he is a MCP... :wink:
My boss is in the perfect position to understand the headstart advantage. His wife gave up a higher paid job (compared to him) to coach their kids. Both kids got into GEP, into RI/RGS, RJC, one went into engineering and one got gahmen scholarship.
And yet he feels that for my case, maid is the solution :P .

our focus is mainly discipline-focus more than academic focus (ie if he can be self-motivated, it is perfectly fine if he does not get 250+ and above for psle :wink:.) headstart is good, but i feel that genes play a more important part in the long run.

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