Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

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Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby KSP » Mon Nov 28, 2011 2:13 pm

"We're not unreasonable, but his parents should apologise"
Alvin Lim | The New Paper | Mon Nov 28 2011

http://www.edvantage.com.sg/edvantage/n ... ogise.html

SHE was kicked and punched by a classmate.

The attack left 10-year-old Tammy (not her real name), a Primary 4 pupil at a school in the East, with a blackened left eye and a cut below her right eye which needed stitches.

Her teacher was in the classroom when the incident happened.

Although the boy who attacked Tammy was subsequently caned, Tammy’s parents insist on a meeting with the boy’s parents.

But the school will not allow it, and Tammy’s father is upset.

Tammy’s father, who gave his name only as Mr Lim, 47, told The New Paper over the phone from the US, where the family is holidaying, that his daughter had been playing with “water babies” – small, colourful balls that expand when immersed in water.

It was about 9am on Oct 25 – just before the final exams.

Mr Lim, an accountant, said that Tammy decided to place one of the “water babies” on her classmate’s head “for fun”.

Kicked her

He claimed that the boy then became annoyed and reacted by kicking Tammy in the shin.

“Her classmates noticed and asked her if it was painful,” he said.

“She told me that she replied, ‘No, not pain’.”

Mr Lim said that at this point, the teacher, who was in the classroom, had not noticed the scuffle.

But moments later, the boy swung his fist at Tammy’s face, connecting with her spectacles, which broke.

A piece of the broken lens cut the girl just below her right eye, drawing blood.

Mr Lim said that the boy punched Tammy “four or five more times” in her eyes, but stopped when blood started to drip from her cut onto her school uniform and she began to cry.

By then, their teacher had noticed the incident.

She intervened and shouted for the boy to stop.

Mr Lim said:“My daughter told me that the children were too shocked to react, so they didn’t try to stop the fight or to help her.”

Tammy was sent to the toilet to be cleaned up, and the school gave her a fresh uniform so that she could change out of her bloodied school blouse.

Mr Lim rushed down to the school after receiving a call about “his daughter, who had been punched”.

He said that when he arrived at the school’s general office, his daughter was quietly sobbing in a chair.

“She didn’t say a word, and just couldn’t stop crying as we made our way to the doctor,” he said.

At a nearby clinic, Tammy’s cut was treated with skin glue – a medical adhesive that joins the edges of cuts or wounds not longer than 5cm.

Mr Lim took her back to school after seeing the doctor, as the exams were “around the corner” and she needed to attend lessons.

He said the school’s discipline master told him that “the school was taking a serious view of the matter” and that an investigation would be conducted.

That evening, Mr Lim took Tammy to make a police report after school, then to Changi General Hospital for a check-up.

Two days later, he called the discipline master, who arranged for him and his wife to meet the principal.

Said Mr Lim: “The school suggested that they would look into it and get back to us, since it was the exam period.

“We agreed that we would let the kids take their exams first before coming back to the issue.”

Mr Lim said that during the meeting, he quizzed the school about the teacher’s involvement in the incident, but was told that it “had happened too quickly and the teacher could not react in time”.

He claimed that the school had called him last week to inform him of the caning, and that they would make anannouncement about the incident to the school.

No announcement made

But he said that when he asked Tammy about it, she said no such announcement was made during the school assembly.

Said Mr Lim: “I’m not okay with that...We understand that the boy is only 10,and kids make mistakes.

“We’re not requesting that the school shames him by saying his name, but by keeping this under wraps, what kind of message are you sending to the children? “Are we telling them that they can quietly get away with fighting?”

Mr Lim said he wants to meet the parents of the boy who punched his daughter.

He said: “I feel that they need to apologise...We’re not going to be confrontational, because we’re not unreasonable people.

“The school said that they would not want to ‘set a precedent’ for such meetings between parents.

“But what we want is a formal apology for what their son did to our daughter.”

He said that Tammy finished her exams on Nov 3, and that the family is in the US for a holiday and will be back in two weeks’ time.

Said Mr Lim: “(Tammy)’s shared with me that she now avoids the boy whenever she sees him.

“She still has her own group of friends, but she’s obviously affected by the bashing.”

When contacted, a spokesman for the school said that following the incident, the school had conducted “a thorough investigation, and disciplinary actions have been meted out”.

She said: “The school counsellor also counselled both pupils and will continue to provide support for them.

“We informed the parents of both pupils immediately after the incident, and met up with them to explain the course of action the school would take.”

The spokesman would neither confirm nor deny if the school had made an announcement of the incident, but said that the school would “use this incident as an opportunity for other pupils to learn about appropriate anger management strategies”.

One school TNP spoke to said it wasn’t the school’s practice to arrange for mediation between parents.

Mr Zach Ong, principal of Teck Whye Secondary School, said: “I wouldn’t say mediation didn’t work out.

“But the difficulty is when you have two sets of parents there – it’s a lot more difficult to manage that process.

“They may assure you that they’re not going to be emotionally charged, but it’s difficult to ensure that this is respected during the meeting.”

Mr Ong also noted that “communication” and “discussion” with parents are good principles when dealing with fighting or bullying cases.

He said: “One of the points we make to the parents is this: Trust the school to be objective in investigating and taking the appropriate action.”

Anger Management

PROBLEMS with anger are just the tip of the iceberg,and are just one of the ways that children manifest the problems they face in life.

“I think – as caregivers or parents – a lot of times,we don’t know how to help children in these areas,” said Mr Alvin Goh, a senior therapist at Covenant Family Service Centre.

He added:“When children get angry, we don’t necessarily ask them why...We tend to discipline them more. Thus a lot of these emotions – anger, disappointment, sadness, frustration – get suppressed.”

Identifying emotions

Mr Goh, a registered psychologist, noted that children need to learn how to identify these emotions as part of healthy development.

He said: “If they don’t – either because of family rules or cultural norms – then they will learn to suppress them, which is not healthy.”

Mr Zach Ong, principal for Teck Whye Secondary School, felt that there must be a partnership between parents and schools.

He said: “I believe that a lot of habits, attitudes and values need to be inculcated from young,and parents must actively work with the schools for that to take place.”

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Re: Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby peapot » Mon Nov 28, 2011 2:53 pm

Aiyo, can imagine the parents must be stressed to have this happening during exam period.

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Re: Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby kiddo » Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:36 pm

peapot wrote:Aiyo, can imagine the parents must be stressed to have this happening during exam period.


The gal parents seem very "calm" about the whole issue,
which is good especially during exam period ,
may not be a good idea for both set of parents
to meet because it will be no end to the issue even if they maintain
that they will be reasonable.
Just a very unfortunate incident for the gal, some children are
very tense up and cannot accommodate "joke". :gloomy:

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Re: Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby Nebbermind » Mon Nov 28, 2011 6:01 pm

I agree that both sides' parents should not meet.

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Re: Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby LOLMum » Mon Nov 28, 2011 6:35 pm

KSP wrote:"We're not unreasonable, but his parents should apologise"
Alvin Lim | The New Paper | Mon Nov 28 2011

http://www.edvantage.com.sg/edvantage/n ... ogise.html

SHE was kicked and punched by a classmate.

The attack left 10-year-old Tammy (not her real name), a Primary 4 pupil at a school in the East, with a blackened left eye and a cut below her right eye which needed stitches.

Her teacher was in the classroom when the incident happened.

Although the boy who attacked Tammy was subsequently caned, Tammy’s parents insist on a meeting with the boy’s parents.

But the school will not allow it, and Tammy’s father is upset.

Tammy’s father, who gave his name only as Mr Lim, 47, told The New Paper over the phone from the US, where the family is holidaying, that his daughter had been playing with “water babies” – small, colourful balls that expand when immersed in water.

It was about 9am on Oct 25 – just before the final exams.

Mr Lim, an accountant, said that Tammy decided to place one of the “water babies” on her classmate’s head “for fun”.

Kicked her

He claimed that the boy then became annoyed and reacted by kicking Tammy in the shin.

Her classmates noticed and asked her if it was painful,” he said.

“She told me that she replied, ‘No, not pain’.”

Mr Lim said that at this point, the teacher, who was in the classroom, had not noticed the scuffle.

But moments later, the boy swung his fist at Tammy’s face, connecting with her spectacles, which broke.


A piece of the broken lens cut the girl just below her right eye, drawing blood.

Mr Lim said that the boy punched Tammy “four or five more times” in her eyes, but stopped when blood started to drip from her cut onto her school uniform and she began to cry.

By then, their teacher had noticed the incident.



imho, yes, the boy shouldnt have done what he did. but before the boy swung his fist at her face, i am sure there must have been some exchanges between the girl (with her classmates) and the boy which could have infuriated him so much that he did what he wasnt supposed to do.

if the girl's parents insisted on meeting the boy and his parents to get an apology, then he must ensure that his girl apologise to the boy for the stupid prank which she shouldnt have started in the first place.

to the girl it was a harmless prank but for me (putting myself in the boy's shoes), i definitely dont like anyone putting wet stuff on my head and getting myself wet plus the teacher was in class, what was the girl thinking of.

i dont think we would get to hear the boy's side of story. fair it is to cane the boy but the girl should be told off too.
Last edited by LOLMum on Mon Nov 28, 2011 6:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby markfch » Mon Nov 28, 2011 6:50 pm

There's always 2 sides to an argument, and what we're reading is only one side of it.

Actually what's the point of the parents meeting up? When one side goes to the extent of making a police report, I don't think it serves any (useful) purpose for any meetup.
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Re: Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby nissin » Mon Nov 28, 2011 7:18 pm

LOLMum wrote:
imho, yes, the boy shouldnt have done what he did. but before the boy swung his fist at her face, i am sure there must have been some exchanges between the girl (with her classmates) and the boy which could have infuriated him so much that he did what he wasnt supposed to do.

if the girl's parents insisted on meeting the boy and his parents to get an apology, then he must ensure that his girl apologise to the boy for the stupid prank which she shouldnt have started in the first place.

to the girl it was a harmless prank but for me (putting myself in the boy's shoes), i definitely dont like anyone putting wet stuff on my head and getting myself wet plus the teacher was in class, what was the girl thinking
of.
i dont think we would get to hear the boy's side ofstory. fair it is to cane the boy but the girl should be told off too.


:goodpost: I strongly agree with you on this.
Agree that the boy is wrong to raise his fist but the girl is not innocent either. I consider the girl's action as "subtle" bullying. It's unfair to side the victim(the gal) for this case.

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Re: Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby Guest » Mon Nov 28, 2011 7:19 pm

Children being children..pranks will happen but it certainly does not deserve a violent ending like this for the girl. The girl can be reprimanded for her playfulness but the boy must be counseled for his anger management else he may end up as a wife batterer when he grows up. Meeting the parents may not be useful but getting the boy to apologise to the girl and her family is a must and he must acknowledge what he has done was wrong. The girl can in turn apologise to him for her prank as well.
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Re: Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby Full.Cream » Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:52 am

LOLMum wrote:
imho, yes, the boy shouldnt have done what he did. but before the boy swung his fist at her face, i am sure there must have been some exchanges between the girl (with her classmates) and the boy which could have infuriated him so much that he did what he wasnt supposed to do.


I recently witnessed a unprovoked act of...er...challenge.

Was at the GEP briefing in NUSH and waiting/listening at a booth. A boy came close and put his face very close on my girl's badge/uniform, after which he tried to push/body-check my girl :siao: . I was quite shocked he was doing this right in front of us parents.

Some strange behavior just cannot be explained! :shrug:

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Re: Girl, 10, punched and kicked in class

Postby LOLMum » Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:07 pm

Full.Cream wrote:
LOLMum wrote:
imho, yes, the boy shouldnt have done what he did. but before the boy swung his fist at her face, i am sure there must have been some exchanges between the girl (with her classmates) and the boy which could have infuriated him so much that he did what he wasnt supposed to do.


I recently witnessed a unprovoked act of...er...challenge.

Was at the GEP briefing in NUSH and waiting/listening at a booth. A boy came close and put his face very close on my girl's badge/uniform, after which he tried to push/body-check my girl :siao: . I was quite shocked he was doing this right in front of us parents.

Some strange behavior just cannot be explained! :shrug:



some strange behaviour can be explained because some kids are unfortunately a bit different from normal kids (medically). they are not crazy or spoilt, just different and might need to be on medication. but as he appears normal, he is labelled spoilt, rude etc. he just cant control it.

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