Mum...may I...

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Re: Mum...may I...

Postby Luvkid » Fri May 15, 2009 12:42 am

insider wrote:Son: Mum…Emmmm…May I pierce my ear?


My boy is still young, i guess, for this question. Instead, he asks ,"Can boys/men pierce ears?"

"Ermmm, try not to lah..."

"Some of my friends (name were given, indian friend) has their ears pierced, with only 1 side. Some men does too, with only 1 side."

"Then, do u like to have your ears pierced too?"

"Not now.."

haha, maybe when he is older..... :wink:

Luvkid
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Postby clarabella » Fri May 15, 2009 1:24 am

Must remember to remove the body rings (are they called that?) at airports. Read of a woman who was totally humiliated when she had to be stripped searched due to all the beeping at the security checkpoint. But she did have piercings over many parts of her body, including navel and further up...

clarabella
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Postby flametree » Fri May 15, 2009 10:18 am

Insider,

I sure hope i'll be able to respond like you - if my teenage son were to ask me can pierce ear or not.

Thanks for sharing. Now i know what to do if it happens 8)

flametree
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Postby Jennifer » Fri May 15, 2009 10:36 am

There was an article yesterday on Mind Your Body that runs some facts about developing nickel allergy due to ear piercing. Have your son read that?

Jennifer
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Postby Jennifer » Fri May 15, 2009 10:41 am

I once saw a Chinese boy with a big hole (can see through it) in his earloop. Turned out his earring is a round ring that goes into the earloop. Cant fathom out the choice though, looked so hideous to me.

Jennifer
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Postby Jennifer » Fri May 15, 2009 12:13 pm

insider wrote:
Jennifer wrote:There was an article yesterday on Mind Your Body that runs some facts about developing nickel allergy due to ear piercing. Have your son read that?


Thanks for sharing! (will go fish out the article as I usually only read the main parts of ST).

Nevertheless, I tend not 'frighten' him with such fact (to prevent him from thinking I am actually trying to stop him. If want to consent, he must perceive the consent as a willing one and not otherwise) but will tell him prior to ear piercing about the risk of infection and post-piercing care required.

My son has very delicate skin like a girl ('fair' base) and he is very scared of pain. Once kena a mosquito bite, his skin will swell and takes longer time to recover. He knows his skin condition and I presume he is also aware of the probable pain during piercing and so if after piercing he suffers infection, then serves him right. No pain...no gain...


How I wish I have the info before I pierced mine. I did not know how to care for it, then kena infection. I cant wear anything other than nickel free stubs, also cant wear earrings for prolong period.

I salute you for being such an open minded mum.

Jennifer
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Postby csc » Fri May 15, 2009 12:14 pm

Adapted from Insider's conversation with son.

Conversation I had with my son last night:

Son: Mum…Emmmm…May I go out with friends after exams tomorrow?

Me: Sure (have been anticipating this question sooner or later but did not expect it to be that soon.)But who are you going with?

Son: With a few of my classmates.

Me: How many ?Who are they?

Son: Aiyah. Tell you , you also don't know. Anyway, they are all very "kwai chai" type.

Me: Like you?? :| ( don't think he's that kwai chai)

Son: Ha,Ha..more kwai than me lah. We will share a cab there, then go for lunch, catch a movie and then go bowling..Can? (well- planned huh?)

Me : Hmmm…I am OK with that but you have to get the final OK from dad.. and I hope you're not going to the arcade??

Son: No ..lah, I won't go lah.

Me: How're you going there? Shall dad send you all there if he's free during lunch?

Son: (almost freak out) Er..... thanks but no thanks lah.

Me : (starts to nag) Well, do remember to come back on time... and know what to do and what not to do. And you have to use your savings for all the expenses.

Son : Yippee... no problem...(freedom at last!)

Hope I had made the right decision... :xedfingers:

csc
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Postby winth » Fri May 15, 2009 2:26 pm

Sometimes I'm simply amazed by your very open perceptions and views of your children's upbringing. Must be really lucky children to have you as their mum.

I hope your niece's temple's 'holes' are not permanent?

winth
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Postby Jennifer » Fri May 15, 2009 4:14 pm

insider wrote:
Jennifer wrote:How I wish I have the info before I pierced mine. I did not know how to care for it, then kena infection. I cant wear anything other than nickel free stubs, also cant wear earrings for prolong period.

I salute you for being such an open minded mum.



Many times forced to be 'open minded' coz saying 'No' will really bring our relationship nowhere (unless something really harmful). It's a negotiation process, he gets something (ear piercing) and I get something (after 16 years old and not on other parts).

My sister was upset because my niece didn't seek her permission and now seeing the two holes (quite big ones) that are now leaving on my niece's face (kids don't really think long term but under peer pressure). But then i asked her, even if my niece seeks permission, would she agree? She kept quiet (coz she would never agree). And so in the child's mind would be, "What's the point of asking?"

If my sister would have been more open minded, my niece may ask and from there, they can negotiate. Maybe my sis can consent subject to her doing it after 21 years old. If my niece doesn't agree, at least can offer her all the after-piercing care advice and watch out for infection, study what kind of studs to wear (my niece must have worn those very thick 'needle' stud that have left such big holes on her temple). It's lucky that my niece didn't have any infection else the pierced location at the temple may scar her pretty face.

My 'good girl' niece's action is a true indication of rebellion when she knew very well my sis would jump but she went ahead anyway and prepared for consequences (this is a child who is thinking that she is ready to fly on own). But difficult to advise my sis in a way as she is Chinese educated, sort of highly conservative, etc, and difficult to let down her status from a 'mother' to a 'friend' with her child.

This 'tattoo' thing (pop culture) has been in my mind as I feel sooner or later my kids may ask for it (esp my daughter who sees tattoos as an art instead of anything else. Some of her friends have tattoos in their body hidden away from parents). Like playing with fire, I told my kids I am considering having a tattoo on my hand (I actually feel some tattoos are nice). And my son said, "Mummy, cannot lah. Later the parents in your centre think you are bad". We deliberated on the perception of what other people have about people having tattoos. And we went on to discuss about if not on my hand, which part of my body I should tattoo. We explored with a conclusion that better dont coz of the sagging effect that may come soon (for me). I 'thanked' them for their advice.


Hm, would keep this in mind when my turn comes.

Jennifer
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Postby Emelyn » Fri May 15, 2009 5:06 pm

Hi Insider,

Really appreciate your posts here. I will keep your "strategy" in dealing with your children, and your shared experiences, in my mind.

Thanks !

Emelyn
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