Why do they want to know?

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Why do they want to know?

Postby babyblissnz » Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:46 am

Hi! We are relatively new to Singapore and need your help please.

We send our children to neighbourhood schools. My sencond son sat for PSLE last year and my agony has started since then. Wherever I go, people ask me which sec sch he goes to. Whoever rememberes him being p6 last year would ask the question without fail. Some mums from my other child's school would ask it as well, even though she only has a girl, hasn't met my son, or doesn't know his name. If I play dumb, some mums go extra mile to get the info through teachers, my children or friends. :sweat:

Why do they want to know? Is it so important to know the school name? For your info, he is not a top scholar and couldn't get to his dream school. Every time I am asked the question, the memory of his devastated look and teary eyes on the result day comes back to me.

Do you think people would ask me the question
1. to judge his academic standing
2. to just satisfy their curiosity
3. as greetings
4. to look for a future son-in-law
5. none of the above

Do you have any advices on how to deal with the question or on frame of mind? I get used to the questions such as; condo or HDB, numbers of bedrooms, own or rent, etc., yet this question of his school bleeds my heart. Am I narcissistic? Please help!

babyblissnz
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Re: Why do they want to know?

Postby Nebbermind » Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:04 am

I have people asking me whether I have eaten (my lunch, I presumed) at 4pm!! :wink:

Perhaps it's a kind of greeting between parents while trying to kill time or juz plain curosity.

But now that u have mentioned, perhaps I should be more sensitive next time and avoid this qn coz I'm one of those who will pop this question. :wink:

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Re: Why do they want to know?

Postby verykiasu2010 » Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:05 am

just ignore the busy body question if you are not interested to share more, and change the topic
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Re: Why do they want to know?

Postby verykiasu2010 » Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:06 am

Nebbermind wrote:I have people asking me whether I have eaten (my lunch, I presumed) at 4pm!! :wink:

Perhaps it's a kind of greeting between parents while trying to kill time or juz plain curosity.

But now that u have mentioned, perhaps I should be more sensitive next time and avoid this qn coz I'm one of those who will pop this question. :wink:


may be babyblissnz was referring to you ? :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :siam: :siam:
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Re: Why do they want to know?

Postby Nebbermind » Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:10 am

verykiasu2010 wrote:
Nebbermind wrote:I have people asking me whether I have eaten (my lunch, I presumed) at 4pm!! :wink:

Perhaps it's a kind of greeting between parents while trying to kill time or juz plain curosity.

But now that u have mentioned, perhaps I should be more sensitive next time and avoid this qn coz I'm one of those who will pop this question. :wink:


may be babyblissnz was referring to you ? :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :siam: :siam:


WT :censored: ! :wink:

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Re: Why do they want to know?

Postby buds » Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:33 am

:rotflmao:

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Re: Why do they want to know?

Postby buds » Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:01 am

1. If these snoops asked you once, it's probably just a casual greeting... since the person may know you from your neighborhood.. or your child's schoolmate/classmate..

2. If these noseys asked you again in a different manner... a seemingly different type of question but meaning the same thing... after a few other short casual greeting-kinda-conversation has started, then perhaps curiosity kills the cat..

3. If these kaypos asked just one more time abt his results, they may be trying to judge his academic standing since they know tt you're not exactly local..

But if they seriously persist in getting it outta ya.. then girl, you just get your cat out and meow! If you prefer roar, then please select a bigger cat of your choice and puhleez.. you'd not want that kinda mother in law for your son!

:dowan:

In 1.. typical brush off answers should be curt yet trying to politely not answer the question if u dun mind.. like..
> he did just ok
> luckily scraped thru
> oh well yah, he's happy where he is..

In 2.. an increased level of displeasure is required.. and buzz off answers can be like..
> Sorry, not trying to be rude but is it ok if I choose not to answer your question?
> Geez.. If you dun mind, I dun feel like talking abt it..
> Or just earnestly say he didn't get to go where he dreamed of but it's fine with us..

In 3.. gear one hand on side of hip.. do a one raising eyebrow look.. roll eyes and stare them in the eye and say like..
> I'd appreciate if ppl quit asking me these questions
> Err.. I'm pretty sick of these questions being asked of me
> I don't feel like talking abt this anymore...

End with a toned down : Hope u get wat I mean / Hope you understand..

Do these help? :wink:

Then again... :idea:... the resilient ones may just be on the prowl trying to scout out your boy's school uniform.. or may already know cos their kid is in same sec sch as your boi.. or stop your son in the middle of the street when on his way home alone and quiz him abt what they wanna know.. :shrug:

Chin up yeah girl? PSLE is but only the beginning of our children's academic marathon.. most times people get over it in due time n no one cares abt who scored what and who went where.. :hugs:

buds
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Re: Why do they want to know?

Postby Funz » Mon Mar 12, 2012 9:29 am

I believe most will mean no harm. It is just something they know that is a common topic for most parents. I think you are upset because you are still affected by your son's results so you are more sensitive about any questions about his results. But strangers do not know anything about his results or his disappointment. So I think when they do ask, it is more small talk and curiosity.

Married?
Kids?
How many?
How old?
Which school?
Results how?
Which sec school?
What CCA?
What enrichment? Where?
Any tuition? Where?

The list goes on. So if you are not comfortable give vague answers.
Results? Oh ok lah. A nearby school loh, more convenient. Yah, it's his choice (they dun have to know not his 1st choice right. Even last on the list also technically his choice wat)

Or divert the line of questions.
Oh you live around here? Which market do you go to? Where to find good char kway teow around here ah?

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Re: Why do they want to know?

Postby Dawnie » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:00 am

Neighbour A : "Oh, you are pregnant. Boy or girl?"
Neighbour B : "Girl"
Neighbour A : "I'm sorry to hear that, but you are still young, can try again next time." :spank:

That was what my colleague encountered. If someone ever ask me the above, I'm sure to tell her off :mad:

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Re: Why do they want to know?

Postby smartmummy » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:16 am

hehehe......
Sometimes people don't know the basic manners.I used to have a friend.She is very talkative and busy body.Everyday morning she called me and asked
What did u cook today?every day I had to list out
Then talk talk....talk non stop. waste my time.
Then asking my family matters and advised to me. :mad: :mad:


For me anyone tell me anything I just listening not asking further qns to get to know more.When I tell to my DH,he asked some qns about that matter,I said "don't know".

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