Bully in Student Care Centre

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Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby 名星妈妈 » Thu Mar 22, 2012 3:54 pm

To pen down this post, it makes me think twice.
I had placed my son in this child care centre since 2011 when he started his P1. Last year, he had complained there is one particular boy in this child care centre bullys him. He begged me to allow him to stay at home. As a working mum, I brushed him off and told him to stay away from this bully. During June & Decemeber holidays, he again begged me to stay at home. As usual, I told him "be strong" and tell-off the bully.

Beginning of this year, when my son started his P2 he told me the bully (P4) use a pencil and poke my son head. I went to the student care centre to find out more. Guess what?! I found out the bully had been bullied not my son and other kids too. This bully not just bullied other kids, he too fought with the teachers too.

Teachers and Vice Principal told me this bully had made tremendous improvement compared to last year. I told them being good or bad last year is not my concern, the fact that he bullied my son again.

I wrote an email to the Principal requested to have a parents meeting together with the teachers. It never happened but they promised me they would observed the situation again.

Yesterday, my son came back and told me the bully demanded my son to pay him 10 dollars back for the item he lost or broke. My son claimed he does not have the money to pay. The bully demanded my son to pay him 20 cents everyday till the sum is paid up.

Just received a call from the centre, this bully explained the item does not belong to him and he did it on behalf of another student. This time, I told the teachers I will not let the matter rest. Either the parent of this bully call me or the school must organise a F2F parents meeting immediately.

Fyi, I was told some parents gave up and withdraw their children from the centre. Should I do the same?

名星妈妈
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Re: Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby Canvas » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:03 pm

I think the centre should do something to correct that bully's behavior. If nothing is done, withdrawing your son seems like a better solution. There must be another student care centre that is suitable.

My DS used to attend student care in P1 and P2 when I was still working. The centre is very responsible with a good principal. DS was bullied in P1 by this classmate who extorted money and things from him. I told the principal and she disciplined the bully and made him apologize to DS after talking to both children. Bully's parents were informed too. I was updated about the disciplinary matters as well. Soon after, the bully left the centre.

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Re: Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby LOLMum » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:13 pm

nope, you did the right thing in getting the people involved to wake up and realised that things cant be swept under the carpet anymore.

it would be better for both set of parents to meet with the principal. even if the matter couldnt be resolved, at least i have the chance to tell the parents off . if the bully doesnt mend his way, i wouldnt hesitate to get police or social worker involved because it is absolutely clear his parents cant control him.

however, there are also some children who just dont know the seriousness of their action. it is not that they are bad or whatever, it is their own logic/think/interpretation of matters.

my freind's grandson was super active and on medication (a few years ago). he just behaves differently from others. sometimes he can get a bit too rough and resulting in many complaints against him. he was very fortunate to have a very good teacher who was patient and able to handle him despite having more than 16 rowdy k1 kids in the class.

try not to brush off his complaints next time. regardless of how busy you are or how trival you think the matter is, if you child know that you are not listening, he would stop telling you things. and things might have a tragic ending. touchwood.
Last edited by LOLMum on Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby Dino_Mummy » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:16 pm

Suggest you call up MOE to submit an official complaint and inform the student care centre of your action. They seriously need take some disciplinary action or dismiss the bully from attending.

In my opinion, you must also look for an alternative student care centre immediately.

Do you want more serious (or hurtful) things to happen to your son? Using pencil to poke your son's head now; one day, use pencil to poke eyes? Pen knives are common 'stationery' for arts too - what if the bully gets crazy and use pen knife against your child?

Few days ago, i read an old topic revived here - secondary boy jumps off window infront of his mum after repeatedly telling her not to change his CCA or something. It struck me as how we must listen and respect our child's wish as well.

The principal and teachers are apparently trying to keep this under wraps so it does not affect their reputation / income. I cannot concur with such attitudes.

My two cents worth above.
Hope your son will feel happier elsewhere.

Dino_Mummy
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Re: Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby auntieM » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:27 pm

Agree with the rest, do not let the matter rest and listen to your child. There must be parents in the centre that are affected too..
My DS have to tolerate the same bully since P1 and then he moved on to other victims. Unfortunately, DS school's after school care tolerates his nonsense. Among parents we know this bully has some behaviour issues, but the 'elite' parents just does not want their kid 'branded'.. :mad:

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Re: Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby BlueBells » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:39 pm

If no action is taken, I would consider reporting this as a police case - assult and extortion, even if it is to act as a deterrant. I am sure if the police is involved, the parents of the bully will appear.

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Re: Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby 名星妈妈 » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:43 pm

Thanks to all for your advised and comments.

Let update you all tomorrow again.......Peace!

名星妈妈
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Re: Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby concern2 » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:44 pm

名星妈妈, when there is bullying cases in school, our kids are rarely the only victims.

Just to share with you my own experience. When my son was in kindy, there was this 'bully' in his school, and even the teachers had difficulties managing him. As it turned out, he came from a broken family - parents undergoing divorce, and his mother was often busy, having to support him single-handedly. The child's mother was under tremendous stress and was always defensive when it came to handling her child's behavior problems in school.

The school tried to be understanding of their situations but things did not improve as the child continued to cause harm to other children. The teachers were also under tremendous stress. Finally, an incident happened between the child and his teacher and the teacher was accused of causing hurt to the child. The mother threatened the teacher and subsequently sent a letter to the principal to have the teacher sacked. The principal, on finding out the background, stood her grounds and suggested, to the dismay of the parent, that she should consider sending her child to another school if she felt that was better for her child.

After my son graduated, I learnt that the child continued to cause problems in student care...

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Re: Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby 名星妈妈 » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:50 pm

Believe me, the teachers told me the bully has a complete family and parents are nice and understanding.

This bully has been with this school since he was 2 years old. They kept telling me he is good and obedient when he was young.

Th fact that the teachers are defensive regardless other parents had complained about this bully.

My husband and I are taking this matter in our hand now. We are going to the centre tomorrow early in the morning and wait for the bully and his parents.

名星妈妈
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Re: Bully in Student Care Centre

Postby concern2 » Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:02 pm

名星妈妈 wrote:Believe me, the teachers told me the bully has a complete family and parents are nice and understanding.

This bully has been with this school since he was 2 years old. They kept telling me he is good and obedient when he was young.

Th fact that the teachers are defensive regardless other parents had complained about this bully.

My husband and I are taking this matter in our hand now. We are going to the centre tomorrow early in the morning and wait for the bully and his parents.


Hmm....Would be interesting to meet the parents then. Wish you all the best!

concern2
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