is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH?

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is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH?

Postby cool_hi » Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:03 am

hi, need some advice..if someone likes to pick up quarrels & every time wants to WIN in any situation/argument, insist people to declare that she is the WINNER, if not, will scream & shout, does this person has mental problem?
already goes on for past 30 years..always need to pick on things & people, to start a quarrel..u leave her alone, she will provoke u hoping to hear u say wrong things(IN her own opinion), then she will 'bite on' what u said which she deem as wrong, & can go on for weeks & pester u, insisting that u are wrong etc..tell & broadcast to everyone she knows, just to make everyone thinks that she is right, u are wrong..Does this person has mental problem??

NOW it's getting worse..coz now it's EVERYDAY must pick quarrel..u avoid her..she can even call u to quarrel..

is this considered some kind of mental problem? coz she can even say & twist things purposely, & cause her own children to quarrel..I can't understand how a mother can bring herself to do such things..derive pleasure in seeing her own children quarrel!! sigh!!

cool_hi
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Re: is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH

Postby verykiasu2010 » Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:06 am

need counseling first failing which IMH

IMH also has counseling but for the stigma
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Re: is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH

Postby cool_hi » Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:19 am

thanks for advice!! u mean those counselling centres, like Fei Yue right?
in the 1st place, getting her to go for counselling is a near-impossible challenge..coz this in itself, obviously will be another opportunity for her to start a quarrel!!

while she's going on the outrage, going mad..she is causing people around her lots of mental stress..in order to maintain our own sanity, we avoid her & her calls..but this in itself, also can also start a quarrel..u don't talk, also she will say things like, "why don't talk? feeling guity ah? that's why don't dare to talk ah?" WTH!!! really can drive u nuts!!

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Re: is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH

Postby verykiasu2010 » Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:23 am

no nid to bring her for counseling head on

just pakat with counselor come have tea and chit chat

you can do things without announcing it, without "officialising" it
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Re: is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH

Postby cool_hi » Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:34 am

hey! thanks for your idea!! ok, will see whether can 'achieve' or not..
but i am very sure, end up, she will scream & shout at the counsellor..
in public, also she will scream & shout..will be very embarrassing!! sigh!

I think it's more of a serious extreme character flaw, whereby she thinks she must win every 'battle'..& when she does not, that's it, she will find every chance to find trouble with the person, make the person 'say wrong thing'..then she create a chance to try to win again..I have never seen such a quarrelsome person before..but sadly, this person has been 'in' my life all this while..I am her 'target' coz I am not pretentious/hypocritical, & do not curry flavour her like others..sigh!!
I need PEACE very badly!!

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Re: is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH

Postby verykiasu2010 » Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:38 am

I am sure the counselor will let her win any debate / argument
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Re: is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH

Postby cool_hi » Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:45 am

:) haha! so I should trust the counsillor to know how to handle her huh? :) okies okies..thanks!! appreciate your advice :)

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Re: is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH

Postby verykiasu2010 » Tue Jun 19, 2012 1:04 am

cool_hi wrote::) haha! so I should trust the counsillor to know how to handle her huh? :) okies okies..thanks!! appreciate your advice :)

you should discuss with the counselor the problem before hand, and agree on a strategy
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Re: is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH

Postby pinky » Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:09 am

is she living alone? if not, is she lonely (with children working whole day and grandchildren visiting once a while only)?
sometimes there are some underlying causes that manifest in such behaviour. She may be trying to attract some attention.

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Re: is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH

Postby shinri » Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:01 pm

cool_hi... that sounds exactly like my colleague's MIL! :yikes:
I hear exactly the same complaints... Are you my collleague lol...

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