Home for kids

[alng]

It can be hard for some parents to accept kids who are not performing to their expectations. A couple of my friends will be sending their kids to boarding school soon cos kids performed below expectations in PSLE.

Is there such a school in S'pore?I know NYG has.

Not that I am aware of. They are going overseas.

Why didn't the parents consider international schools here? I have friends who send their kids to international schools as their kids' PSLE results are not good enough to enter the schools of their choice.

[schweppes]

Why didn't the parents consider international schools here? I have friends who send their kids to international schools as their kids' PSLE results are not good enough to enter the schools of their choice.

unfortunately, not everyone can afford to pay international sch fees.

[schweppes]

Our son is lazy, spending his time on TV only. My husband and I have decided to send him away for good. Do anyone know are there children's homes to take in the kid?

to u, Namie.

I'm sorry to read about your frustration and disappointment. You must be feeling very hurt and lousy to make such a candid post. Sometimes, in our frustrations and disappointments, or when we feel that our kids do not live up to our expectations, we say all these horrible and mean things. But deep down, I know u don't mean it. At least, I hope not.

If u feel that your child is not performing up to mark or he may have some behavioral issues, maybe you can talk to the teachers or school counsellor to mediate on your behalf? Sometimes our kids would rather listen to a 3rd party rather than his own parents. There cd be reasons for his misbehaviour which u may not be aware of.

Hopefully things will get better for u...

[concern2]

Our son is lazy, spending his time on TV only. My husband and I have decided to send him away for good. Do anyone know are there children's homes to take in the kid?

Unplugging and selling away the TV is one option you can consider, unless, that is, you are more unwilling to let go of your TV than of your child.

[alng]

Why didn't the parents consider international schools here? I have friends who send their kids to international schools as their kids' PSLE results are not good enough to enter the schools of their choice.

unfortunately, not everyone can afford to pay international sch fees.

I was referring to the earlier post that parents sent their kids overseas after the PSLE. If can afford overseas, sure can afford the international schools fees here. :-) At least the parents are still with the kids when the kids are in the international schools here, as compared to the overseas boarding schools.

[Coolkidsrock2]

Hi alng, I also share your sentiments. I also do not understand but paiseh to ask for details or give advice. They only mention that they are looking for boarding schools.

To me, it is almost like rejecting the child and this is the age and time where parents need to be around. One of my friends was sent to boarding school around 14/15 years old, relationship with parents quite distant after her return. If not because her mum is a single parent, she would not return.

[Namie]

Hi! We have been very patient with him since he was in P1. Both of us work very long hours and by the time we reach home everyday, it is around 9.30pm. Just imagine, we wake up at 5.30am and work till 9pm daily and longer during peak.

We set homework for him and everyday without fail, not a single question is done. Came out with garbage excuses like forgot, thought I said homework was for tomorrow, etc. The whole week went by and it still wasn't done. This was his behaviour since P1.

In addition, everyday without fail there will be notes from teachers saying he did not hand in his homework and he didn't even care!

We have told him many times. Both my husband and I were not high achievers in school. Not just because our parents were not well-off enough to give us the resources but we were too playful then to realise the importance of doing well in school and exams. That is why we later saw classmates got higher pay and jobs because they have honours degrees. Fellow colleagues get promoted faster because honours degrees holders are on a different career track. Honours degree holders and scholars are referred to as talents and normal degree holders are referred to as work horses. If he doesn't wake up now, he will lead a worse life than us in the future.

[ngl2010]

Hi! We have been very patient with him since he was in P1. Both of us work very long hours and by the time we reach home everyday, it is around 9.30pm. Just imagine, we wake up at 5.30am and work till 9pm daily and longer during peak.

We set homework for him and everyday without fail, not a single question is done. Came out with garbage excuses like forgot, thought I said homework was for tomorrow, etc. The whole week went by and it still wasn't done. This was his behaviour since P1.

In addition, everyday without fail there will be notes from teachers saying he did not hand in his homework and he didn't even care!

Hi. They are just kids...

I was like you when DS was in term 1 P5. I expect him to be mature enough to schedule his day. I only want result like what we expect people in office behave. I don't care when he does his homework during the day. I just want it to be done.

Sadly, it did not materialise. Homeworks were still not done when I checked them at night. I blew up. But DH told me that DS is just a kid. Treat him as a kid. Plan his day. I did what DH told me and things turned out better. Homeworks done, additional works done.

Kids are just kids. I think it is rare to find kids that are self discipline especially if he is just P1 (or older now). He needs your attention, love and guidance. Be patient, guide him and show him a lot of love. You need to spend more time with him. Come home earlier and guide him. It is a sacrifice to your career but it will worth it. He will improve.

[Rational_Parent]

Hi! We have been very patient with him since he was in P1. Both of us work very long hours and by the time we reach home everyday, it is around 9.30pm. Just imagine, we wake up at 5.30am and work till 9pm daily and longer during peak.

We set homework for him and everyday without fail, not a single question is done. Came out with garbage excuses like forgot, thought I said homework was for tomorrow, etc. The whole week went by and it still wasn't done. This was his behaviour since P1.

In addition, everyday without fail there will be notes from teachers saying he did not hand in his homework and he didn't even care!

We have told him many times. Both my husband and I were not high achievers in school. Not just because our parents were not well-off enough to give us the resources but we were too playful then to realise the importance of doing well in school and exams. That is why we later saw classmates got higher pay and jobs because they have honours degrees. Fellow colleagues get promoted faster because honours degrees holders are on a different career track. Honours degree holders and scholars are referred to as talents and normal degree holders are referred to as work horses. If he doesn't wake up now, he will lead a worse life than us in the future.

I have to be bold and direct here to say that the fault lies with both of you, the boy parents.

It appears to me that the poor boy is the only child and is left at home without proper guidance, love and care most of the time. If this is true then how on earth do you expect the boy to be discipline, unless of course he is a special child or a god-send? If both of you sincerely love the boy then either one of you ought to take long no-pay leave to rectify the situation. Any parents who love their kids would definitely do so if put in your shoes. Some would even quit their jobs.

It really sounded like parents wanting to disown the boy. If, as parents, both of you are unable (or refuse) to provide guidance, love and care then I would second @Jennifer post - send the boy away for good because there should be families that would do so, failing which both of you can consider The Salvation Army Home. From what I know, this Christian home do take in children of all races and any religion, give them shelter, discipline, guidance, care, love and a faith of course. You need not disown the boy if he is sent to homes.

Honestly, I'm not disappointed in the boy but both of you, the parents. I'm sorry but I really mean it.

[linden2000]

Is your boy alone at home and expected to do his homework from school as well as the homework set by you all by himself? If so, no offence meant but I would think kids being kids, he would most likely not have the self-discipline and motivation to do it on his own.

It's not mentioned in your post how old is your boy. If he is in lower Primary, all the more he will likely not be mature enough to understand the importance of grades. Especially true for boys who tend to mature slower. Understand your anxiety about his future but to a young boy, it is very likely he is unable to understand your anxiety or to worry about the future himself.

Is it possible that either parent scale back on work to spend more time with him? Sure, career prospects will be affected but if you care enough for the child, it will be worth it. All the bochap attitude he's exhibiting could be actually be a call of help to you, his parents. KIds sometimes do not know how to get our attention the right way and to him, negative attention could still be attention. I really hope it's just moments of frustration and work stress that you are are talking about sending him to a home. I really hope you do not mean it.