Why do you have to be like the others?

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Why do you have to be like the others?

Postby acforfamily » Tue Oct 13, 2009 10:33 am

// Editor's note: Topic selected for Portal publication.

In our pursuit for the best for our children, do stop and ponder over this.
"Why do you have to be like the others?"

I thought that I could be a parent who would let the kid progress without tuition or extra classes, only to be told by the school that he has to perform better. I was naive enough to think that the school would only expect the students to know only things that have been taught. Imagine my horror when the teacher gave out sample compositions done by fellow classmates that indicated the use of vocab and phrases way beyond their years.

We seem to be living in a vicious circle. The schools set more and more difficult questions to differentiate the really good students. The average students find the questions difficult and go for enrichment classes, thus pushing up the standard. So the school has to set even more difficult questions.....

We send our children to enrichment classes, tuition etc in the hope that they do not fall behind their cohort. But how many of us in our age group survived without tuition / extra classes? Aren't we all still doing well?
What would happen if one day, everyone stops going for all these extra lessons? Would we be worse off?

Ignoring the ad at the end, this video clip shows that anyone can be different and still excel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI2A2_d8CNA&NR=1

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Postby daisyt » Tue Oct 13, 2009 10:59 am

hi acforfamily, as regards to your post "I thought that I could be a parent who would let the kid progress without tuition or extra classes, only to be told by the school that he has to perform better", I have enountered the same situation as you when my girl was in P5. During the meet parents session, the teacher suggested us to send her for tuition. The teacher also suggested us a few methods to train up my girl's learning attitute which I appreciated her suggestions very much. But as regards to her suggestion on sending my girl for tuition, we did not adopt her suggestion. We had a family discussion on this issue, and our conclusion was, my girl could improve on other methods, not necessary through tuition. So we worked out our own ways and although my girl was not tip top in class and academic performance, we feel its reasonable (above average). Now in Sec 1, she is still doing average or above average in most of her subjects, without tuition.

Ultimately, my and hubby's thinking is, in life, she needs to expose to more other issues and not just push her to be top scorers in academic. If I really want to push her to score all A1s, I believe I can, by sending her to many enrichment classes and tuition lessons. But by doing that, she would be missing many other interesting lessons of life because she simply won't have time and energy for other things. Thats our thinking and hence till now, here we are, still, without tuition and be contented on her average and above average results. :D

I rather she has spare time to enjoy more musicals, more concerts, involve with more project works, compeitions in her CCA, voluntary works and learn how to handle relationship between different human of different nature :D

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Postby titank » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:11 am

Hi All,

I agreed with you that the Teachers nowadays seem to be having a much "easy life" as compare with our days. A lot have to come from the parents to support the child in their education.

If you look at the textbbok, P1 seem like P4 standard! if the child do fall behind certain grades, then the teacher would advise the parent to send the kid for tuition!

Last but not least, getting an A1 does not mean would be able getting a job in the society.Ultimately they have to compete in the real battle industrial world when come to finding a job.

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Postby acforfamily » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:36 am

daisyt wrote:But as regards to her suggestion on sending my girl for tuition, we did not adopt her suggestion. We had a family discussion on this issue, and our conclusion was, my girl could improve on other methods, not necessary through tuition. So we worked out our own ways and although my girl was not tip top in class and academic performance, we feel its reasonable (above average). Now in Sec 1, she is still doing average or above average in most of her subjects, without tuition.


How I wish there are more parents like you.

Being a SAHM helps, I did not send him for tuition but just taught him some methods myself. I believe that it is just that the other kids have more exposure. As long as he is learning, I am not too concerned that he is not as good as his teacher hopes him to be! I always try to find out whether there is any repurcussions later if he is not doing too well in something. If none, then I let it be.

It is a long, long route for them in life, why stress them so much?

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Postby acforfamily » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:38 am

titank wrote:
If you look at the textbbok, P1 seem like P4 standard!


I agree. The first time I saw the questions posted on the forum on P3 / 4 maths / science, I was really taken aback. They look like questions we did in P6 previously.

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Postby daisyt » Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:01 pm

acforfamily wrote:How I wish there are more parents like you.
......
It is a long, long route for them in life, why stress them so much?


acforfamily, I am sure you can. Its just the mentality inside each of us. I want my child to be different from others not purely in terms of academic performance but on how to handle problems, setbacks, how to present herself.

That day, she had an interview by a teacher on selection to go for a compeition. She was asked by the teacher "Tell me, why I must choose you and not XXX to go ?" I am quite pleased with her answer. After that, we had a family discussion again, on her answer. Both me and hubby suggested our "better" version of answers. But mine was being "bomb" and rejected because it sounded too agressive and overpraise of oneself. My hubby's one was acceptable by all of us. :D

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Postby sleepy » Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:04 pm

I watched that video. So touching & very inspiring

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Postby mummy of 2 » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:25 pm

I'm also trying hard not to stress my kids too much in terms of academic enrichment. But I do try to balance that with helping them achive their potential, cos I do not want them to be under-achievers too. So far DS1 and DD2 are not attending any academic enrichment. DS1 just started arts lessons. I try to read with them, and do some worksheets with DS1 on nightly basis, to instil discipline in him.

Weekends are mainly reserved for family outings, or rest and relax. No crammed schedule, as they need a rest, and so do we :lol:

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Postby mckenzy » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:09 pm

i've mentioned in the forum before... that why not we try to discover what our children really would like to do and provide the means or opportunity to achieve those dreams?

alas... we are in a forum whose title speaks for itself...

i for one would like to know if my p5 son who is undergoing rigorous, never ending work to prepare for his exams this year, wants to do anything that he really likes...

the sad thing is that he simply has no time to even give it a think...

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Postby Andaiz » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:12 pm

mckenzy wrote:alas... we are in a forum whose title speaks for itself...



mckenzy, I disagree...we're KSP's coz we are KS in being good parents in bringing up our kids. The topics described here extend beyond the academics thankfully.

My gals have only swimming and dance as part of their out-side-of school curriculum, perhaps some music and drama at school (beyond school hours)...not the "usual" hothousing enrichments but we go to places with the children and aspire to expose them to different ways of dealing with others.

From the other forummers on this post, who are thankfully like-minded :pray: , we all agree goes to the development of the child as a wholistic person :-) :love:

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