Sometimes we forget to remember

General comments and chit-chat, or tell us how we can improve KiasuParents.com

Sometimes we forget to remember

Postby exTEACHER » Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:39 pm

Hello everyone,

Most, if not all, of us are working. Why do we work? The obvious answer is - to support the family.

However, many a times we sometimes forget that the very reason for work is - the family. And based on my experience, I have seen, how many children fall victim of neglect to the four-letter word. (Now don't get me wrong... I'm not against work!!)

What I am trying to say here is sometimes we forget to remember that at the end of the day... Without work, we still have a family. Yes, as idealistic as I may sound, most of us do not have the luxury of earning as much as we would like for the family. And with the high standard of living, nobody in their right mind(except me, I suppose..lol) would even consider being a stay-at-home-full-time-parent. But we must remember that, it is not the Big Bucks that gives value to our lives - it's the time we spend with our love ones that adds meaning to our lives.

Which reminds me of a story of a hard-working career man who was lying on his death-bed. Asked what if he could spend one more day alive, what would he do? His answer was to spend his last day with his family and loved ones. (NOT to spend it at the office or spend it with his boss)

Again I would like to stress that I have nothing against work. I just hope to remind ourselves and myself that there are more important things in life. As Shakespeare once said,"The choices we make, dictates the lives that we live... To Thyself be true."

Regards
exTEACHER

exTEACHER
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:26 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Sometimes we forget to remember

Postby kiasimom » Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:51 pm

exTEACHER wrote:Hello everyone,

Most, if not all, of us are working. Why do we work? The obvious answer is - to support the family.

However, many a times we sometimes forget that the very reason for work is - the family. And based on my experience, I have seen, how many children fall victim of neglect to the four-letter word. (Now don't get me wrong... I'm not against work!!)

What I am trying to say here is sometimes we forget to remember that at the end of the day... Without work, we still have a family. Yes, as idealistic as I may sound, most of us do not have the luxury of earning as much as we would like for the family. And with the high standard of living, nobody in their right mind(except me, I suppose..lol) would even consider being a stay-at-home-full-time-parent. But we must remember that, it is not the Big Bucks that gives value to our lives - it's the time we spend with our love ones that adds meaning to our lives.

Which reminds me of a story of a hard-working career man who was lying on his death-bed. Asked what if he could spend one more day alive, what would he do? His answer was to spend his last day with his family and loved ones. (NOT to spend it at the office or spend it with his boss)

Again I would like to stress that I have nothing against work. I just hope to remind ourselves and myself that there are more important things in life. As Shakespeare once said,"The choices we make, dictates the lives that we live... To Thyself be true."

Regards
exTEACHER


I fully agree with what you say.

I have quit my job to be a SAHM so that I can be with my children during their growing up years.

Since you are an ex-teacher, maybe you can help to answer some questions on ALL ABOUT GEP thread.

Thanks in advance.

kiasimom
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1526
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 3:01 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Sometimes we forget to remember

Postby jedamum » Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:20 pm

exTEACHER wrote:However, many a times we sometimes forget that the very reason for work is - the family. And based on my experience, I have seen, how many children fall victim of neglect to the four-letter word. (Now don't get me wrong... I'm not against work!!)

let me add another word to the above in bold...the word is
Parents.
how many of our parents are victim of neglect to this four-letter word?

jedamum
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 8515
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:58 pm
Total Likes: 20


Re: Sometimes we forget to remember

Postby ChiefKiasu » Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:24 pm

jedamum wrote:let me add another word to the above in bold...the word is
Parents.
how many of our parents are victim of neglect to this four-letter word?


I would count as one of those numbers. I had thought that my parents would last forever while I build my career. How wrong was I. And no amount of regret can undo my mistake.

ChiefKiasu
Site Admin
 
Posts: 15221
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:16 am
Location: Singapore
Total Likes: 319


Re: Sometimes we forget to remember

Postby kiasimom » Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:25 pm

jedamum wrote:
exTEACHER wrote:However, many a times we sometimes forget that the very reason for work is - the family. And based on my experience, I have seen, how many children fall victim of neglect to the four-letter word. (Now don't get me wrong... I'm not against work!!)

let me add another word to the above in bold...the word is
Parents.
how many of our parents are victim of neglect to this four-letter word?


My mother definitely is.
During her time, both my grandparents have to work FT to support the family and as a result my mom is not very close to my maternal grandmother.

kiasimom
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1526
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 3:01 pm
Total Likes: 0



Postby sashimi » Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:57 am

I have almost no memory of my father during the time when I was a child. He simply was never at home. I don't remember a single incident, nothing at all, involving playing or socializing with him. ZERO.

Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. He is a dutiful, responsible and humble man, far far more hardworking than I ever will be.

So, when I grew up and had a child, I swore to myself I will never do this to my children. Time will tell if I have done enough. 8)

sashimi
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 499
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:21 am
Total Likes: 1


Postby hquek » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:07 am

Thought invoking.

I'm often assailed with the notion that by electing to spend more time with my kids - I have given up on career progression. Am a FTWM, I don't regret going back on time each day to spend with my kids. But then, there's always the tug when I see my peers zooming so far ahead of me.

Gotta keep my eyes on the ultimate goal - happy, well adjusted kids!!

hquek
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 6535
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2008 10:07 am
Total Likes: 70


Postby mckenzy » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:16 am

its quite related to a generational thing...

Victorian (1920's - 1940's) - Sent their kids to boarding school
Baby Boomers (1940's to 1960's) - Spent alot of time working because the world's economy was in its booming stage, industrialisation and all that...
Gen X (1960's to 1980's) - most of us fall under this category... we try to do what's best for our kids, work really hard yet try to balance everything including quality time with the kids
Gen Y (1980's to 1990's) - this is a short period. tend to want neither to get married or if they were to marry, rather not have kids... a lot more inward looking...
Internet generation (1990's to present) - our kids... never grew up without the internet. technology is present everywhere... this is the headache bunch

mckenzy
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 307
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 10:59 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby kuzco » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:16 am

Hi hquek. I am in the exact same boat as you. I requested to start work earlier and leave earlier on the dot so that I can be home to prepare dinner for my son and supervise his school work. I do not have a maid nor parents/parents-in-law to help out. I have seen colleagues being promoted year after year. There is a tinge of envy but at least I do get to spend whatever little time left in the evenings with my son.

kuzco
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 277
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:58 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby mckenzy » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:34 am

kuzco.. :salute:

like sashimi said.... only time will tell... i think its also important to remember that... otherwise when times get difficult, we wonder if its all worth it...

mckenzy
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 307
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 10:59 pm
Total Likes: 0


Next

Return to Recess Time