红颜薄命

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红颜薄命

Postby insider » Sat Oct 26, 2013 11:35 am

My old time friend jumped down from high floor recently.
Last edited by insider on Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:24 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: 红颜薄命

Postby insider » Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:00 pm

SAHM_TAN wrote:
Hi insider,

This is a serious qn. How to avoid 红颜 fr 薄命 ? Besides parents providing positive energy, must parents do more good deeds to help ? And not to think abt 薄命 part? And those that you covered in 桃花 thread?



errrmmm...if that 红颜 is really 薄命,then there's little that she can do except to do good deeds (else will make her life even 'thinner' if she does bad ones).

If we look at 紫薇斗数, the numbers of good stars and bad stars are fixed.

So this is simple maths that if a good star go to the look, a bad star will have to go somewhere (whether to marriage, friend, siblings, money, career, etc).

Very few people have all the good stars and bad stars configured in such a way the good stars are distributed evenly in the various categories, and 99% of the time there need to be compromise somewhere.

Therefore, we have a saying of 'God is fair' - that if one has some, he will lose some. But that's basically the essence of life that we always try to 取长补短, and that's the purpose of living, that we will strive to make good of the essential things that we are short.

This world is made up of 阴阳, a man and woman should complement each other.

It's not uncommon to see

- not-to-handsome men married pretty girls and vice versa.

- those driving sports cars are usually not-so-handsome.

- those girls who are brainy are usually not so pretty and vice versa.

Pretty Woman married Handsome Man - marriage unlikely to last long coz the 阴阳 balance effect is not there = unstable.

Brainy + Pretty Girl = high chance of remaining single (whether a spinster or divorcee) coz she has no 短 for someone else to 补.

Etc.

Coz of more or less fixed constellation, we may have to learn to accept imperfection in our children (and also in ourselves) coz those imperfection maybe what is saving their / our lives (meaning if an 'ugly' star is in his 'Look' house, then a 'Clever' star maybe in his 'Career' house; if bads stars are in his 'Look' and 'Career' Houses, he may have a powerful star in his 'Spouse' house; something like this).

When things in life got too 'perfect', it may not be something worth cheering coz 物极必反.

I have an almost perfect daughter and I do sometimes think about her negative stars. But looking at her kindness and filial character, I think the supernatural power will watch over her... (if her character is no good, then it is something really worrying).

I shared before when I was pregnant with my daughter, I went to temple to pray, that I don't need her to be pretty but I pray that she be born wise.

My prayer comes true coz she is indeed a wise (not in terms of clever) child (so here, we go back to the power of prayer, that if you have the 'seed', it will come true. If I pray that she be 'pretty', then she maybe born pretty but then she may not be as wise. Of course, why not pray for both pretty AND wise? But cannot be greedy when prayers are concerned else one may get NOTHING...)

PS:
Just very superficial explanation above coz not possible to explain in details...

PS2:

Actually can also look at the 命 of my friend.

He was born with a silver spoon, staying in a bungalow in a 'high class' area, good looking, doting parents, etc.

不愁吃,不愁穿,不愁用, driving a Porche at around 23 years old.

But he met his 大劫 and everything comes to nothing. He sort of had used up all his good things at the beginning part of his life and have to suffer at later part... (going back to the fengshui of it's good to have ups and downs in life intermittenly instead of always expecting Ups coz if that's the case, when the Downs come, it can be very very painful and one may not be able to pull through. So, do accept the Downs gladly if one would have met them now and then.)
Last edited by insider on Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 红颜薄命

Postby SAHM_TAN » Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:18 pm

Thanks insider.

I only pray for health.

I will try harder in other areas.

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Re: 红颜薄命

Postby Imp75 » Sat Oct 26, 2013 1:45 pm

The Chinese fortune telling usually goes by time/bracket of time of birth, I am always wondering do twins necessary have the same 命 but yet most of the time, twins usually hv the most differing characters and personalities

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Re: 红颜薄命

Postby Imami » Sat Oct 26, 2013 1:47 pm

Imp75 wrote:The Chinese fortune telling usually goes by time/bracket of time of birth, I am always wondering do twins necessary have the same 命 but yet most of the time, twins usually hv the most differing characters and personalities

That is an interesting observation and very true.

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Re: 红颜薄命

Postby insider » Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:17 pm

Imp75 wrote:The Chinese fortune telling usually goes by time/bracket of time of birth, I am always wondering do twins necessary have the same 命 but yet most of the time, twins usually hv the most differing characters and personalities



hahaha...don't get me into lo-li-lo-soh explanation (this thread is more to talk about 红颜薄命 and not so much about 命理 in general coz that scope is too wide).

twins can born maybe minutes apart but then in terms of 时辰, there can be a difference.

anyway, 孩子不是来讨债就是来还债 - 善缘、逆缘 (same for spouses). Each will be born with complex plus and minus seeds with them (these seeds will mature at different timings base on subsequent encounters that will form their characters) and so they may 'evolve' differently even raised under same environment.

I lost my twin cousin (passed on at early 20s) few years back due to brain tumour (account on http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... in#p330301 under 'Death of a Child"). The surviving twin until now is still very sad and he does also wonder how come twin don't have 同样的寿命. His brother's 'mission accomplished' in this life and have to move on and he just have to continue to live on... (now he is doing quite well as a civil servant after his uni. Getting married soon and I hope he can have kiddo fast coz until today, my dear uncle and aunt are still grieving and so hope a grand child can restart the qi of the whole house afresh.)

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Re: 红颜薄命

Postby GLORYmum » Sat Oct 26, 2013 3:21 pm

传道书

虚空的虚空,虚空的虚空,凡事都是虚空。

人一切的劳碌,就是他在日光之下的劳碌,有什么益处呢?
一代过去,一代又来,地却永远长存。
日头出来,日头落下,急归所出之地。
风往南刮,又向北转,不住地旋转,而且返回转行原道。
江河都往海里流,海却不满;江河从何处流,仍归还何处。

万事令人厌烦,人不能说尽。眼看,看不饱;耳听,听不足。
已有的事,后必再有;已行的事,后必再行。日光之下并无新事。
岂有一件事人能指着说,这是新的?哪知,在我们以前的世代,早已有了。
已过的世代,无人记念;将来的世代,后来的人也不记念。

我专心用智慧寻求查究天下所作的一切事,乃知神叫世人所经练的是极重的劳苦。
我见日光之下所作的一切事,都是虚空,都是捕风。
弯曲的不能变直,缺少的不能足数。

我又专心察明智慧、狂妄和愚昧,乃知这也是捕风。
因为多有智慧,就多有愁烦;加增知识的,就加增忧伤。
我心里说:来吧!我以喜乐试试你,你好享福。谁知,这也是虚空。

我转念观看智慧、狂妄和愚昧。
我便看出智慧胜过愚昧,如同光明胜过黑暗。
智慧人的眼目光明;愚昧人在黑暗里行。我却看明有一件事,这两等人都必遇见。
我就心里说:愚昧人所遇见的,我也必遇见,我为何更有智慧呢?我心里说:这也是虚空。
智慧人和愚昧人一样,永远无人记念,因为日后都被忘记;可叹智慧人死亡,与愚昧人无异。
  
我见恶人埋葬,归入坟墓;又见行正直事的,离开圣地,在城中被人忘记。这也是虚空。
因为断定罪名,不立刻施刑,所以世人满心作恶。
世上有一件虚空的事,就是义人所遭遇的,反照恶人所行的;又有恶人所遭遇的,反照义人所行的。我说,这也是虚空。
  
凡临到众人的事,都是一样:义人和恶人都遭遇一样的事;好人如何,罪人也如何;起誓的如何,怕起誓的也如何。
在日光之下所行的一切事上,有一件祸患,就是众人所遭遇的,都是一样。并且世人的心充满了恶。活着的时候心里狂妄,后来就归死人那里去了。
  
我又转念:见日光之下,快跑的未必能赢,力战的未必得胜,智慧的未必得粮食,明哲的未必得资财,灵巧的未必得喜悦;所临到众人的,是在乎当时的机会。
原来人也不知道自己的定期;鱼被恶网圈住,鸟被网罗捉住,祸患忽然临到的时候,世人陷在其中,也是如此。
  
我见日光之下有一样智慧,据我看乃是广大。
就是有一小城,其中的人数稀少,有大君王来攻击,修筑营垒,将城围困。
城中有一个贫穷的智慧人,他用智慧救了那城,却没有人记念那穷人。
我就说:智慧胜过勇力;然而那贫穷人的智慧被人藐视,他的话也无人听从。
  
宁可在安静之中听智慧人的言语,不听掌管愚昧人的喊声。
智慧胜过打仗的兵器,但一个罪人,能败坏许多善事。
  
智慧人的口说出恩言;愚昧人的嘴吞灭自己。
光,本是佳美的,眼见日光也是可悦的。
人活多年,就当快乐多年;然而也当想到黑暗的日子。因为这日子必多,所要来的都是虚空。
尘土仍归于地,灵仍归于赐灵的神。

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Re: 红颜薄命

Postby insider » Sat Oct 26, 2013 4:51 pm

SAHM_TAN wrote:Thanks insider.

I only pray for health.

I will try harder in other areas.


SAHM_ TAN

'Sensed' recently you have 'changed'. Can't tell what exactly changed but you just don't seem to be the 'regular' you (a bit 心浮气燥). Hope all are fine over your end.

Try to maintain 心平气和 as much as possible. 凡事都会过去的。

Recently I have been plagued by many 烦恼 things of others that I need to help to settle. Most are actually none of my business but if can help, I will have to help then those become sort of my babies.

I have been thinking about my mum recently.

You know she has just shifted into a new house that I spent much blood and sweat doing it up. But there are still many nitty gritty things not up to her expectations.

I bought a very good vacuum cleaner for her. She doesn't like it and insists that using hand sweeping and mopping. Her maid also cannot use machine and have to go manual and after her maid cleans, she will still say not clean enough and have to RE-DO.

My nephew ba-kua with me, demonstrating to me how Ah Mah swept floor. He imitated her slow and tiring movement when cleaning and he added 'Ah Mah cannot clean the floor properly and auntie can do it better.'

Several similar things like the above happen in the new house that my mum will insist in her ways of up-keeping the house (another thing is her insistence of still cooking and cooking despite her legs couldn't stand anymore and after massive cooking, she will have to lie down to rest for a long long period of time).

I tried to talk my mum around for several times and that upset her coz she feels I don't believe her.

So, I stepped back.

I used 'scientific' ways to try to analyse my mum, that she is old and might be worried that people may feel she 无用 anymore and so she has to prove her worth or that she still wants to show that she is still the 'head' of the house.

Last week when I was in the MRT on the way to accompany a friend to see a gynae for her menopause symptoms (that were so severe that she cut her wrist when insisting her husband has a woman outside. She literally became someone whose character is no longer familiar to us close friends. Used to be gentle but suddenly can 拳打脚踢 to her husband who called me and cried. 疯了,疯了......), I thought about my mum's conditions as to how I can help to lighten her housework (it pains me to see her 'suffer').

A thought suddenly flew across my mind that there is nothing I can do coz my mum now is facing her 业. These bad 业s are making her suffer when actually now she can live 无忧无虑 and very comfortably. Simply put, my mum doesn't have enough 福气 to have a good life at old age.

Meaning I have to let her be and the only thing I can do is to say prayers for her. If she has the 业s, she has to 消 them herself and no outsiders can do anything.

After I have this thing thought out, I become more 'balanced' and don't 'advise' her anything further anymore. 自己的路自己要走完它, even as a daughter, I cannot shoulder them for her.

With this concept of 业, then we maybe able to know how come some children simply will not listen to good advice (越叫越远). That's because their 业 prevent them from hearing and they have to go through hardships to 消 the 业. Once they have suffered enough (业消了),then they may 'wake up'...

PS:
actually can relate the above to 无明 too...
Last edited by insider on Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 红颜薄命

Postby insider » Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:04 pm

GLORYmum wrote:
见日光之下,
快跑的未必能赢,
力战的未必得胜,
智慧的未必得粮食,
明哲的未必得资财,
灵巧的未必得喜悦;
所临到众人的,是在乎当时的机会

原来人也不知道自己的定期;
鱼被恶网圈住,
鸟被网罗捉住,
祸患忽然临到的时候,
世人陷在其中也是如此。
 



I like these two parts.

Errmmm...can refer Part 1 to the recent 'easy' PSLE! heeheehee...

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Re: 红颜薄命

Postby Imami » Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:15 pm

insider wrote:Last week when I was in the MRT on the way to accompany a friend to see a gynae for her menopause symptoms (that were so severe that she cut her wrist when insisting her husband has a woman outside. She literally became someone whose character is no longer familiar to us close friends. Used to be gentle but suddenly can 拳打脚踢 to her husband who called me and cried. 疯了,疯了......), I thought about my mum's conditions as to how I can help to lighten her housework (it pains me to see her 'suffer').

sorry, no offense meant - but insider, is your friend also consider going through her 业?

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