生死谈

General comments and chit-chat, or tell us how we can improve KiasuParents.com

生死谈

Postby insider » Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:01 am

你......怕死吗?

If you know you only have three more months to live, what would you do?

Let's have some fun discussing about this topic......

insider
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2688
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:17 am
Total Likes: 36


Re: 生死谈

Postby insider » Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:40 am

At this age, beginning to be surrounded by cases of friends and relatives and other close ones dealing with major illnesses and facing death.

Case 1

Best friend - cancer final stage. Now immobile and in pain and cant do much daily anymore. Waiting for time. She hopes she can get it over soon.

Case 2

Good friend - cancer final stage. Still mobile and undergoing intensive chemo of one week chemo and three weeks rest. Expected another 6 months. Taking strong painkiller but not morphine stage yet. Accompanying him with other close friends to Japan in March during his 3 weeks 'chemo break'. He said he wants to visit Japan when he still can (he loves the food and culture there and used to travel to Japan frequently).

Case 3
Best friend's mum, age 71, my godma - stroke. Lying on bed immobile for the past three months. Have been in the hospital since about 3 months ago and bed ridden. She managed to be able to talk (in slur) until few days ago when she suffered another stroke (3 strokes in total), making her lose her speech again (this time stroke on the right brain and affected her speech). Used to be a very active woman (ex Miss Spore contestant and so she is quite 'well maintained' and pretty and graceful despite at that age).

When she still could speak to me, she cried and said she didn't want to live like this and hope she can finish her journey soon. She went into depression, threw tantrum (by refusing to eat and sweeping things on the floor with the then right hand that still could move). Everyone could only console her that it will take time for her to recover.

-------------------------------

The successive incidents one after another set my best friends all thinking about their old age. Two of them are still single with small family of only one sibling. We witness how lonely a fatally ill patient can be coz the healthy ones still hve to get on with their daily lives but then the sick one has plenty of time to kill, either idling at home or lying on bed staring at the ceiling thinking about what-nots.

Now these single ones begin to imagine when it's their time to be bed-ridden, whether there will be visitors, how frequent could that be, and how they are going to spend their remaining life waiting for the final moment. The fear in them, for the first time, I can sense that it's real (last time we ever discussed about this but then not in such serious manner). Basically there's a 'consensus' between them that if they ever get bed-ridden, they wanna go asap and not to drag on...

insider
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2688
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:17 am
Total Likes: 36


Re: 生死谈

Postby starlight1968sg » Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:42 am

All living things grow old and die.
Just that most of the dying journeys seem painful.

starlight1968sg
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 10119
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:43 am
Total Likes: 23


Re: 生死谈

Postby insider » Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:50 am

starlight1968sg wrote:All living things grow old and die.
Just that most of the dying journeys seem painful.


Maybe dying young is also a blessing?

I really wonder sometimes...

insider
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2688
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:17 am
Total Likes: 36


Re: 生死谈

Postby Funz » Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:18 am

insider wrote:
starlight1968sg wrote:All living things grow old and die.
Just that most of the dying journeys seem painful.


Maybe dying young is also a blessing?

I really wonder sometimes...


Not dying young but more of a quick end.

My galfriend died very young. 17yrs old. But her journey was a long one, diagnose with a malignant form of tumour at 14, went for countless radiation and surgeries but the tumours kept coming back. In the end, when the tumour came back in her brain, nothing more the docs could do, from there, it spread to her spine. She kept saying she is too young to die, so many things she has not done or experienced. Never fallen in love, never travelled, never taken a roller coaster...... :cry:

Funz
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 10817
Joined: Wed May 27, 2009 12:48 pm
Total Likes: 318



Re: 生死谈

Postby dolphinsiah » Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:30 am

Do read this interesting book , if you want deeper thoughts about life after death:

"Many Lives, Many Masters" by Dr. Brian Weiss.

It can be borrowed from the library.

I think everybody fear death. Because they have so many things undone.

Like what 17th Karmapa, Ogyen Trinley Dorje said

"Often we are very afraid of death. But actually birth and death are just part of nature. "

Me , I am prepared to face death. Because I know if I am met with a mishap, my family members will be well taken care of.

What I am worry is to age and causing inconvenience to the family members and society.

If I have Cancer , I will not seek for any treatments... just let me die with my cells that had gone bad..

I have even pledge my carcass to the NUS Medical Dept for Education...so no funeral for me...

I always pray -救好死! :wink:

dolphinsiah
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 4019
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:38 am
Total Likes: 25


Re: 生死谈

Postby starlight1968sg » Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:37 am

This brings us a topic on euthanasia.
Death may not be that scary but it is the process leading to death is scary.
It is the quality of life that counts and not the duration.

starlight1968sg
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 10119
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:43 am
Total Likes: 23


Re: 生死谈

Postby SAHM_TAN » Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:39 am

This thread comes at the right time for me.

One of my fren's parent is diagnosed with terminal illness. We are of the same religion. So what I know she also knows and probably better. She's very into Chi literature so probably knows more than me about all the 大道理。 From what little infor I have I guess the doc is not going to do much. I saw the mother before CNY and she looks healthy but not sure is she suffering fr any pain now. My fren is not letting go and I'm not sure if the mother even knows of her own illness. The illness came to light becos she was hospitalised for another reason. My fren is taking it very bad, bad to the extent that I'm worried. I hope it's just the grieving process part and that acceptance will come soon and whatever guilt will be worked through. Whatever we have said so far and offered have fallen onto deaf's ears.

SAHM_TAN
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 10963
Joined: Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:47 am
Total Likes: 30


Re: 生死谈

Postby jetsetter » Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:44 am

i believe in the Quality of life. Live life to the fullest by doing up a bucket list early in life while you're still healthy. Do all the things you've always wanted to do. Achieve all the impossible to the best of your ability. Do not waste away your life doing nothing. Count your blessings and do good always. Be filial and spend time with your loved ones. Never live with regrets.

jetsetter
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 13156
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:04 pm
Total Likes: 216


Re: 生死谈

Postby SAHM_TAN » Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:45 am

dolphinsiah wrote:Do read this interesting book , if you want deeper thoughts about life after death:

"Many Lives, Many Masters" by Dr. Brian Weiss.

It can be borrowed from the library.

I think everybody fear death. Because they have so many things undone.

Like what 17th Karmapa, Ogyen Trinley Dorje said

"Often we are very afraid of death. But actually birth and death are just part of nature. "

Me , I am prepared to face death. Because I know if I am met with a mishap, my family members will be well taken care of.

What I am worry is to age and causing inconvenience to the family members and society.

If I have Cancer , I will not seek for any treatments... just let me die with my cells that had gone bad..

I have even pledge my carcass to the NUS Medical Dept for Education...so no funeral for me...

I always pray -救好死! :wink:


Curious about your comment abt the no funeral part. Wish to find out more if you don't mind.

Funerals for me has always been about closure for the living. Will you have a symbol of a resting place for your loved ones to visit/pay respect?

SAHM_TAN
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 10963
Joined: Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:47 am
Total Likes: 30


Next

Return to Recess Time