^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

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^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby ftwmum » Tue Feb 18, 2014 1:25 pm

Hi fellow parents,

Hope to seek some advice from you.

I just found out that I am 6 wks pregnant. It came as a shock as it was unplanned. Never wanted a 2nd baby and both husb and I were careful most of the time :p.

My DS is already 7 this year :yikes: , I am so taken aback and NOT READY AT ALL!!!!! :shock: :shock: DH is happy of cos as most guys would be :roll:

Reasons why Im not so "enthu" about this pregnancy (in no particular order):-

1) DS is a notti and challenging boy to manage. Gets into trouble in school qt often. Qt blur in school. Needs lots of supervision. He is still a sweetheart nontheless on his good days :wink:

2) Im in my late 30s this year ie not as fit and energetic as before. Cannot imagine gog through breastfeeding and diaper changes and incessant crying all over again! :yikes:

3) Financially we are just nice right now. Not sure how Im gog to put 2 through Uni in Spore. Oseas Uni is out of the question.


Pls do not judge me as different people have different background and financial capabilities.
Im really not sure what to do now :shrug: :shrug: v worried ....

:thankyou:

ftwmum
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Re: ^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby spicyblackpepper » Tue Feb 18, 2014 1:56 pm

I am with you. Do not worry about being judged. You are not the only one who have to make difficult decision.

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Re: ^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby spicyblackpepper » Tue Feb 18, 2014 1:58 pm

Oh, please have a good discussion with your hubby and get his support.

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Re: ^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby SAHM_TAN » Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:08 pm

Just sharing. Not trying to influence your decision.

I have 3 kids, single income but no debts, kids no academic enrichments. I'm not efficient nor particularly motherly, no domestic helper. We stay in my hubby's childhood flat. In law helps to keep an eye but that's abt it heehee. Our life-style is simple not becos of the sacrifices that we make but becos we are like that LOL.

I had my kids in my 30s too. I just lower my expectation of myself and do less with the kids, meaning I'm not so adventurous as to bring them regularly to park and stuff.

As for uni, I will do what my parents did, use the CPF loan scheme heehee. I'm perfectly ok to let the kids pay back the education loan taken fr CPF to us. I will not feel guilty if the kids need to take a loan for uni education. LOL.

Take care

SAHM_TAN
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Re: ^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby hersheys » Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:14 pm

SAHM_TAN wrote:Just sharing. Not trying to influence your decision.

I have 3 kids, single income but no debts, kids no academic enrichments. I'm not efficient nor particularly motherly, no domestic helper. We stay in my hubby's childhood flat. In law helps to keep an eye but that's abt it heehee. Our life-style is simple not becos of the sacrifices that we make but becos we are like that LOL.

I had my kids in my 30s too. I just lower my expectation of myself and do less with the kids, meaning I'm not so adventurous as to bring them regularly to park and stuff.

As for uni, I will do what my parents did, use the CPF loan scheme heehee. I'm perfectly ok to let the kids pay back the education loan taken fr CPF to us. I will not feel guilty if the kids need to take a loan for uni education. LOL.

Take care


I m w u too.. I will also make the kid pay back the CPF they have used and to take up loan for their uni too. Hey, they have to learn the hard way in order to treasure, otherwise they become so self-centered and no hardships. BAD! :boogie:

hersheys
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Re: ^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby janet88 » Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:18 pm

I'm not judging you either.
An unexpected pregnancy does cause a shock. Since it has happened, why not be positive about this baby? I'm sure the little one in you would want mummy to be happy too. Don't think too far. Have you told your son? Get him involved in looking after his sibling.

Lower expectations. My kids are not academically strong.

Be strong ok? :smile:

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Re: ^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby straffan23 » Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:26 pm

What about listing down the pros and cons so that you can have a more balanced approach. There will never be absolute right or wrong. Just do what you feel would be best for the family. Most importantly, you need to promise yourselves not to look back in regret. Either way, just decide and move on. Everything else would be history. Just move on.

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Re: ^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby Nelliez » Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:32 pm

don't worry, be thankful to have your 2nd baby. :smile:

my 1st & 2nd DDs age gap is 7 years, but it was planned. Even with this age gap, they are growing up happily cos they have one another to chat with, play with & fight with.

Nelliez
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Re: ^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby janet88 » Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:36 pm

I was very shocked when I found out I had #2...I cried. I was afraid baby would be like older one. During my detailed scan, I asked for 2nd opinion. She is normal. 2 kids would be great. Your son will have company.

Edited but no harm intended.

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Re: ^^ Pregnant w no 2 after 7 years! shocked and lost ~

Postby spicyblackpepper » Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:38 pm

My parents' generation was like that, single income, simple life, a number of kids, had savings, no overseas holidays, kids work part-time for tertiary school fees because didn't want to loan from CPF. All kids grew into strong and well adjusted adults.

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