Never leave your chance to fate

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Never leave your chance to fate

Postby kiasimom » Sun Dec 13, 2009 4:55 pm

After reading all the articles about young children being murdered, I have a somewhat guilty feeling.

Case 1: Nonoi
She was murdered by her stepfather

Case 2: Huang Na
She was murdered by someone she knew and trusted

Case 3: Muhammad Nor Rashidy Rahmat.
He was mudered by someone he knew and trusted

In busy Singapore, when both parents have to go out and earn the dough for the family. The children are often left with the maid or caregiver.

After reading the articles, I felt that many times we have actually pushed our responsibility to the maids and caregivers.

So, if given a chance, I will still love to care for my children personally.

My children are "brought up" by my maid when they were babies.

I am grateful to GOD that I am able to stay at home now to supervise my maid and to be involved in the upbringing of my children.

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Re: Never leave your chance to fate

Postby tamarind » Sun Dec 13, 2009 8:21 pm

I wrote in the other thread :
My mother told me, even if we devote our entire life to the kids, there is no guarantee that they will look after you at the end.

As working mommies, we must make sure that there are proper arrangements for childcare. The best arrangement is to have a loving and capable grandparent to stay with us to supervise the maid. Otherwise mommies should put the babies in infant care, or childcare when the kids are older.

Leaving the child alone with a maid, or with a babysitter, is very risky. Recently there was a case of an 8 year old girl molested by the babysitter's husband.

If a woman cannot make proper arrangements, then it is best not to have any babies. I feel that nowadays mommies do not know how to do proper planning. I have heard of many mommies who asked for advise on childcare arrangement after they are pregnant with their 2nd or 3rd baby in the Singaporemotherhood forum. They should have planned for everything before even getting pregnant. With today's technology, it is possible to plan exactly when we want to get pregnant (for healthy women).

I totally admire mommies who gave up their high paying jobs to stay at home, their kids are really very fortunate. In my case, I owe it to my mother who took 2 jobs (both low paying) to support me through university. I am now the only one supporting her financially, so I cannot afford to stay at home.

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Re: Never leave your chance to fate

Postby amylqf » Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:31 am

tamarind wrote:I wrote in the other thread :
My mother told me, even if we devote our entire life to the kids, there is no guarantee that they will look after you at the end.



I totally agree on this.

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Postby tankee » Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:56 pm

totally agree that we should be careful with our choice of caregivers and not leaving things to chances.

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Postby kiasimom » Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:48 pm

That's why I always conduct routine spot checks on my maid. When I have to run an errand, I will not tell her what time I will return so that she can never get hold of my schedule.

We have to make efforts to monitor our caregiver. The moment we sense something is not right, I will observe and change the caregiver.

I never allow my maid to hit my children, not even a slight smack on the palm. Never authorise them to use force on our children.

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Postby Andaiz » Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:50 pm

kiasimom wrote:That's why I always conduct routine spot checks on my maid. When I have to run an errand, I will not tell her what time I will return so that she can never get hold of my schedule.


spot checks are effective, kiasimom.

kiasimom wrote:We have to make efforts to monitor our caregiver. The moment we sense something is not right, I will observe and change the caregiver.

I never allow my maid to hit my children, not even a slight smack on the palm. Never authorise them to use force on our children.


I dont' even allow my maid to raise her voice at my kids. We respect her if she respects them. Caregivers are a necessary bane for FTWMs but we need to take responsibility that these are our children.

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Postby kiasimom » Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:54 pm

Exactly. That's why I always take it to be my responsibility for the discipline of my children.

No matter how close the maid is to the children, she must know where to draw the line :-)

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Postby autumnbronze » Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:52 pm

kiasimom wrote:That's why I always conduct routine spot checks on my maid. When I have to run an errand, I will not tell her what time I will return so that she can never get hold of my schedule.

I never allow my maid to hit my children, not even a slight smack on the palm. Never authorise them to use force on our children.


:wink: :wink: Once again something in common!!

But seriously, we even use the spare keys in the car to open the door aft we've been out the whole day just to 'spring' a surprise on her as well :D
Last edited by autumnbronze on Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby kiasimom » Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:54 pm

Haha, autumnbronze,

To quote what Andaiz said, we are kindred souls as well ;-)

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Postby autumnbronze » Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:01 am

kiasimom wrote:Haha, autumnbronze,

To quote what Andaiz said, we are kindred souls as well ;-)


Aiyoh .... how sweet :wink:

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