Help! my boy hates going to school

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Help! my boy hates going to school

Postby smurf » Tue Apr 13, 2010 10:00 am

DS1 has NEVER wants to go to school. come mornings, he will find excuses not to go to school, he is now in K2. it's not as if he is a toddler and still adjusting to school, but he is already 5 and turning 6 this dec.

this morning, I asked him in a fierce tone," do you still want to go to sch or not? if dun want, then I withdraw you from school ok?! and then next time, you want to go back to sch, the sch won't allow you to do so.''

he said, OK.

even without hesistation, he said ok.


I dunno why he hates sch, I dun think it's the teachers, the sch environment or even friends. cos I went to the sch to do spot checks before, he is ok, seems a little bored though. teacher said he is quite well behave in sch, he used to beat his friends when he was younger, but stop aready. and I can see that he is communicating well with his friends.

when I fetch him from sch bus (usually), I would ask him how is his day, did he enjoy himself in sch, blah blah...he said yah, he enjoyed it.


but I know that deep down, he still has this resistant towards sch. something which puzzle me. :?

why ha?

smurf
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Postby tankee » Tue Apr 13, 2010 10:08 am

I would say majority of children, if given a choice, would not want to go to school. Likewise for majority of adults with regards to work.

Home is always preferred over school as there is play than work and more love than discipline.

You did right in checking on him in school to ensure that it he is doing ok, and not being ridiculed or bullied.

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Postby cnimed » Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:12 pm

tankee wrote:I would say majority of children, if given a choice, would not want to go to school. Likewise for majority of adults with regards to work.


I disagree with that. I remember I used to love going to school. It's only much later when burn-out set in that I started resenting it. Likewise with work. I never start a job resenting it. I usually can't stop thinking about the things I can do!

DS1 didn't want to go to school and we stopped for a year. He returned this year (K2) and he looks forward to it everyday. Ds2(N1) doesn't want to go to school either. So I just don't send him to school and I didn't register him for N2 either even though the DS1 brought the forms back.

I personally feel there's no "must" for preschool. There's no right or wrong, just what suits the child and family best. If you need the child to be in school, then just make your best choice and don't give him a choice. You can however counsel him on his mindset regarding boring schoolwork etc.

smurf,
actually I think maybe your ds is just bored and restless with the school routine. Maybe he just wants an adventure - ask him lah. What do you do over the weekends? It must be something different from Mon-Fri, otherwise when Monday comes, it's just blah again. the. same. old. things/ faces. again. Mega sian.
cnimed
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Postby Funz » Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:24 pm

Have you asked him, why, if he enjoys himself at school, does he not want to go to school every morning.

And if he does not go to school, what does he think he will be doing.

Right now, my kids enjoy school. I have problem convincing then to stay at home even when they are sick.

Sometimes, kids get caught up with the here and now. As in he is absorbed with the activity that he is currently doing so he does not want to move on to the next activity.

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Postby smurf » Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:27 pm

hmm, he enjoys going to malls, park, cycling, swmming (but not lesson kind). anything, except having a teacher around. or rather, having a classroom around.

for example, he enjoys going to chinese enrichment sometime, but sometime, he doesn't. and for swmming, he enjoys slides, play, etc. but if there is someone teaching him, he hates it.

I think he is bored with the routine, but if he is bored now, what happen later?

he is the kind, when you introduce new thing to him, he would eager stick to you, and say i want i want, but after he cannot do it, then he would ask u for help. and if you help him a bit, he would start again saying ok ok, let me do it, let me do it. in an anxiously tone.

and then you would be so frustrated.
:x

example, when we go to mall, buy a set of LEGO. he will ask me to go back quickly (he enjoys going to mall), ask me to open the set quickly. and when I want to lead him to build the thing, he would shove me away, but if he can't build it, he asks me to help, and before I can help him a bit, he quickly say ok ok, i can do it. and after he tried many times and still cannot build it, he would ask me again, and this process would repeat man times. until I fed up. :x :x

smurf
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Postby KoalaMummy » Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:31 pm

well, i'm not sure if it could be just a phase that he's going through. My ds initially also say he don't like school, but we din give him a choice. Now he's enjoying it.

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Postby smurf » Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:33 pm

Funz wrote:Have you asked him, why, if he enjoys himself at school, does he not want to go to school every morning.

And if he does not go to school, what does he think he will be doing.

Right now, my kids enjoy school. I have problem convincing then to stay at home even when they are sick.

Sometimes, kids get caught up with the here and now. As in he is absorbed with the activity that he is currently doing so he does not want to move on to the next activity.


he said he dunno why.

he said he want to stay home. even if he is doing nothing.


he is opposite, he would make himself sick to stay at home. :x

smurf
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Postby tankee » Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:35 pm

deminc wrote:
tankee wrote:I would say majority of children, if given a choice, would not want to go to school. Likewise for majority of adults with regards to work.


I disagree with that. I remember I used to love going to school. It's only much later when burn-out set in that I started resenting it. Likewise with work. I never start a job resenting it. I usually can't stop thinking about the things I can do!
....



you belonging to the minority then. :wink:

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Postby smurf » Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:35 pm

KoalaMummy wrote:well, i'm not sure if it could be just a phase that he's going through. My ds initially also say he don't like school, but we din give him a choice. Now he's enjoying it.


if it's only few months, then I wouldn't be so bothered, but he is already k2 leh. and not N2.

smurf
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Postby daisyt » Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:40 pm

tankee wrote:
deminc wrote:
tankee wrote:I would say majority of children, if given a choice, would not want to go to school. Likewise for majority of adults with regards to work.


I disagree with that. I remember I used to love going to school. It's only much later when burn-out set in that I started resenting it. Likewise with work. I never start a job resenting it. I usually can't stop thinking about the things I can do!
....



you belonging to the minority then. :wink:


Then my dd also belongs to the minority, even burn-out stage .... :roll:

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