Super stubborn child

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Super stubborn child

Postby smurf » Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:44 pm

DS2 (age 2) is very very stubborn. much more stubborn than I think.

once he kicked DS1 (age 5), I asked him to say sorry to DS1, he refused, and look straight into me,paused for 2 sec and said FLATLY, ''NO''.

I dunno what to say/do to him. I know using beat or scold, no use. told him not to do that again, he ignored me. sometimes, I told him off when he did something wrong, and he although he nodded, I know that he will do it again and will PURPOSELY do the deed again.


if your child is stubborn, what do you do?

:cry:

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Re: Super stubborn child

Postby jedamum » Fri Apr 16, 2010 10:18 pm

smurf wrote:DS2 (age 2) is very very stubborn. much more stubborn than I think.

once he kicked DS1 (age 5), I asked him to say sorry to DS1, he refused, and look straight into me,paused for 2 sec and said FLATLY, ''NO''.

I dunno what to say/do to him. I know using beat or scold, no use. told him not to do that again, he ignored me. sometimes, I told him off when he did something wrong, and he although he nodded, I know that he will do it again and will PURPOSELY do the deed again.


if your child is stubborn, what do you do?

:cry:

at 2 yo, stubborn is not his character. he is merely testing your authority over him. if you lose out to him during this transition, you will likely be having a hard time dealing with him when he hit terrible threes.
ds2 (3yo) for instance, used his plastic ball to throw at his dad out of fun. i told him to say sorry. he said no and walked away. i told him that i will confisicate his ball unless he said sorry. he did cos i did carry out my threat of confiscation of toys before as punishment for other misdeeds (eg messing up the place). i did not do this for ds1, so ds1 although P2, is the one who has issues admitting fault and saying sorry. for ds2, sometimes he was afraid to admit fault and hence ran away or started crying, but i will insist that he apologise even when the event already lapse and that ds1 is no longer angry (eg when ds2 bit ds1 or accidentally kick or intentionally hit ds1 when they were playing). or if ds2 out of excitement, bit/hit me, i will raise my voice and demand 'say sorry!' which he will promptly, before i lower my voice to explain why his actions is unaccpetable. in any event that he does not say sorry, i will either confiscate toy of offence (eg used for hitting), or in the case of biting, the time-out corner - always warn before carry out your punishment so as to give the child a chance to decide whether he wants to say sorry or get his toy taken away or send to the corner.
get a system of discipline in place. at 2yo, that is the best time to start.
MHO.

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Postby smurf » Fri Apr 16, 2010 10:47 pm

wah, very difficult task leh...how to control him...when he refuses to say sorry, means he refuses...no room for discussion...even if I take away his favourites...oh, and 1 thing he is very good in...he can cry for hrs...and I mean hrs...can drive one crazy kind...

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Postby vlim » Fri Apr 16, 2010 10:59 pm

smurf wrote:wah, very difficult task leh...how to control him...when he refuses to say sorry, means he refuses...no room for discussion...even if I take away his favourites...oh, and 1 thing he is very good in...he can cry for hrs...and I mean hrs...can drive one crazy kind...


then u got to buy rotten ... :spank:

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Postby jedamum » Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:01 pm

smurf wrote:wah, very difficult task leh...how to control him...when he refuses to say sorry, means he refuses...no room for discussion...even if I take away his favourites...oh, and 1 thing he is very good in...he can cry for hrs...and I mean hrs...can drive one crazy kind...

if you can't control him at 2yo, do you think you stand a chance to get him to listen when he is 12?
try to find out why he refuses. is he afraid to be scolded hence the tough front? does he refuse cos he knows that there is no consequences?
yes, there is no room for discussion - if no apologies given, toy confiscated/privileged taken away. Period! when you take away his favs, when do you return to him?
crying for hours? it pays that i am stubborn. so long no injury, i let my child just cry it out.
good luck.

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Postby smurf » Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:02 pm

haha...you'll be surprised how I beat him, can see lines one...he is very afraid of cane, but I try very very very hard not to use it you see...he is only afraid of cane, nothing else...only cane... :(

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Postby Guest » Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:07 pm

I suppose the only way is to be more stubborn than him.
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Postby smurf » Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:12 pm

you are right. I can't control him now...and no1 can i guess...if say I take away his favourites, he can cry for hrs...and I super can't stand it...let's say he cries himself to zzz, after 5 mins or so, he would cries in his zzz...every 5 mins...tell me, who can stand this?? :?

oh, he would vomit out his milk sometimes when crying, and would continue to do so...with mucus all over, and rubbing the mucus on planaket, etc. and if you wipe it away, he cries even louder...UNTIL you give him his favs...


let's say you give in and give back the favs to him, he would take it, BUT he takes it to throw it aside and then continue to do his deed again!

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Postby jedamum » Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:13 pm

ks2me wrote:I suppose the only way is to be more stubborn than him.

lolz. good tactic for a 2yo. :)

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Postby smurf » Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:14 pm

got white flag emoticons anot? i surrender...

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