TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

How many times do you spank your kid in a mth?

Never, I'm the exemplary parent
5
25%
Once is enough, thank you
9
45%
Can count with one hand
3
15%
Need both hands to count
3
15%
 
Total votes : 20

TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life

Postby markfch » Sat May 01, 2010 1:12 pm

I just read this very interesting article in the latest TIME magazine (May 10) and wish to share it here.

The short of it is that researchers in the US have published a study which stated that children who were regularly spanked at age 3 are more likely to develop violent behaviour by age 5 (by as much as 50%). I quote from page 97:

'The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) does not endorse spanking ..... AAP recommends time-outs, which typically involves denying the child any intervention for a period of time.'

During my time, my parents' mantra was: 'Spare the rod, spoil the child' leh. But I turn out quite alright wat. :lol:
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Postby jedamum » Sat May 01, 2010 1:55 pm

there are 2 types of spanking; i) one is senseless and excessive while the other (ii) is with valid warning and is only a 'sidedish' to other forms of positive disciplinary method.
while both are spanking methods, clearly (ii) is more superior than (i) for children's development.
take into account (iii) no spanking with poor discipline method, clearly (ii) is more superior than (iii) although the latter involves no spanking.
of course ultimately (iv) no spanking with positive disciplinary methods only, will be the most ideal situation.

so to spank or not to spank, there is no right or wrong as it deals with individual household's disciplinary methodology unless we are discussing about situation (i) which i guess is what the 'Time Mag' is talking about.
JMHO.

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Postby markfch » Sat May 01, 2010 3:09 pm

I would categorise case i) as physical abuse. If I interpret the article correctly, it is saying that iv) is superior to ii).

Come to think of it, amongst my 3 siblings, I was the only want to taste the rod. Though I think I turned out ok, my other siblings are certainly better versions of the same gene factory.
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Postby adhdadhd » Sat May 01, 2010 3:34 pm

I have 3 ways to punish my DS,
1) "face the wall" aka time out or thinking corner
2) kneel down and pull your eye.
3) physical cane, hand or backside.

whatever way to punish is fine, but it must be with a reason.
The reason must be explained to the kid after the punishment.

But, the best don't do 3 lah, he got the pain, I got deep cut in my mind... tears also cannot come out...

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Postby Guest » Sat May 01, 2010 3:39 pm

I believe the article refers to senseless spanking which will build resentment in a child certainly.

The kind of spanking I have for my child contingents on my bonding level with her. For every spanking experience, alot of communication is made to let her understand why spanking is required. Having said this, spanking only lasted from 5-6YO..but not frequently, only when stubborness was totally unbearable. And it started from 5YO because old enough to understand but chose to defy senselessly and it took a year for messages to internalise. So voting now would mean no more spanking.
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Postby markfch » Sat May 01, 2010 3:45 pm

adhdadhd wrote:I have 3 ways to punish my DS,
1) "face the wall" aka time out or thinking corner
2) kneel down and pull your eye.
3) physical cane, hand or backside.

whatever way to punish is fine, but it must be with a reason.
The reason must be explained to the kid after the punishment.

But, the best don't do 3 lah, he got the pain, I got deep cut in my mind... tears also cannot come out...


wah adhd,
I think 2) is more insidious than spanking. You not scared long term psychology damage to your DS hah? I heard of this mum who after slapping her DS will force him to say (loudly) that he loves her. Still gives me the chill when I think of it.
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Postby Guest » Sat May 01, 2010 3:49 pm

Btw, slapping is a terrible punishment, refrain by all means, as it can cause deafness.

Beethovan was often slapped by his dad when young. By the time he was 35 if I recalled rightly, he became deaf. Such a tragic for a musician.

And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say "love her", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x
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Postby markfch » Sat May 01, 2010 3:55 pm

ksi wrote:And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say "love her", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x


And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.
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Postby Guest » Sat May 01, 2010 4:01 pm

markfch wrote:
ksi wrote:And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say "love her", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x


And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.


Actually she can be reported for child abuse, it is beyond physical anguish, it is hurting the child mentally too.

Can you imagine if the child grows up and batters the wife and still wants his wife to say she loves him? :x
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Postby markfch » Sat May 01, 2010 4:07 pm

ksi wrote:
markfch wrote:
ksi wrote:And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say "love her", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x


And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.


Actually she can be reported for child abuse, it is beyond physical anguish, it is hurting the child mentally too.

Can you imagine if the child grows up and batters the wife and still wants his wife to say she loves him? :x


But an adult victim still can seek external help, a child can't.
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